In Nature, we can observe a variety of flowers: Colors, shapes, sizes, etc.
We could observe new born buds, full grown flowers and the ones decaying. Life will allow us to see the full range of experiences as an observer.
Is a decaying flower worse off than a new born bud?
Observe the range. Every flower will go through that range of experiences.
We say: “Young and old.” That distinction, that duality is a seed for suffering, for a traumatic experience when we imbibe conditionings beyond the label.
Labels allow us to make distinctions. When we give to a label certain value as in good/bad, right/wrong; we will create a trauma.
Life will show us the full range at any given time. Today, “you” may be the representative for young. Tomorrow, it is certain that “you” will represent old. What is the trauma? To identify with a particular, transient state. We cannot fully observe when we identify ourselves with something. We are biased.
To live on Earth; means to experience duality at every step. Our “choice,” our attachment to one side of a duality creates the trauma in Life. That trauma will not allow us to evolve for fear arrives.
Fear brings a mentality of continuous fight to live, a mind conditioned to compete for ideals, or an obsession to maintain something unchanged.
To enjoy Life with that conditioning, with that program; is impossible.
Gradual change in Life is the law. Humans do not respect that. We want for things to change “now.” The consequence is violence. What happens when violence increases? Look around you.
Human beings have been trying to find fulfilment in Life.
That “effort” has brought intrinsic division: What “I” want, someone else also wants. There is competition, conflict.
Religious groups, political parties, intellectual factions, etc. are only extension of the individual, there is conflict between them.
Thus, there is conflict among groups making up larger groups such as nations, races, cultural traditions.
“Problem solvers” want to “change the world,” through policies, laws, beliefs, etc. But the core of the issue has always been the individual.
Within an individual, there is intrinsic conflict between his feelings and what is in his mind.
Conflict is part of our lives, but yet we would like to feel wholesome, united, fulfilled. We compromise with some happy moments here and there.
Our minds try to fix that conflict by coming up with “methods” or “techniques” to help us achieve what we ARE not.
What is natural, what we truly ARE cannot use any techniques or methods to BE something else. That has been the “spiritual” lie for centuries.
For instance, If I use a “method” to become loving with people, I am not love; but I am faking it. A “method” will define what love should be, I will practice what I am not.
That “technique” has been used from time immemorial: If the Buddha didn’t eat meat, I should DO that too. I should force myself to be like him.
If my guru says that TV is a waste of time, I should stop watching it. I should make the “effort” to be like my guru, to be “better,” to be like him.
If my sexuality manifests violence, I should cover that with a “technique; “so it is perceived as genuine care.
That is the Life of a dishonest person: To try to cover up the “truth” of who we ARE.
It is in the acknowledgement of who we ARE, the AWARENESS of that; how change starts.
That is natural. When we do not understand that something that is not natural is fake, we will force that change through “techniques” and “methods.”
That change is through violence.
The laws of our society are only concerned in what “I” do to another. We have labeled all kinds of violent acts for that with different kinds of “punishment.”
However, when a person is violent towards himself, that is not covered by any law.
Sooner or later, individuals who are suppressed of their violent nature towards others, will inflict that force into themselves.
What is the source of that violence?
Division. Conflict. It starts within us and it ends in the collective consciousness.
That energy of violence impregnates everything we touch.
We could talk about love, peace, compassion, etc. but violence is what we ARE.
Want to change? Be the change that you want to see? Just Do it?
Never mind clichés.
Be AWARE of that violence in the words we use while speaking to another, while driving to work, while eating, while relating with loved ones. It is there.
How can we “make love” with that violence?
How can we imitate the “Buddha” with that violence?
How can we “practice” compassion with that violence?
In the AWARENESS of this is how change starts. This is not a question of belief in a religion or a holy person, a politician or in some god.
However, those who are not ready for AWARENESS, will definitely need to believe in a religion, a holy guru, a God and a politician.
But violence will be hidden until it is uncovered.
In the last article, it was said: “We are donkeys pursuing carrots hanging in sticks.”
Some felt indignation for that comparison.
A donkey is a pretty impressive animal. It has helped humans throughout history in most tedious physical tasks. Stubbornness is one of its main characteristic, that is why; it will not give up in pursuing a carrot which will always be out of its reach.
If I would have said: We are like tigers, lions, eagles, dragons… that could have received lots of thumbs up. That sounds good! Every conditioned human being wants to use those animals as “totems.”
What is the common ground of all those animals?
From the outside aggression. A violent response. That is exactly how most human beings would qualify as: Violent animals.
Our society thrives in violence. Fear is part of that experience. No wonder our DOING will be impregnated with violence.
Religion was a response to that aggression. If we cannot BE kind, gentle with each other, let us at least behave; DO as a commandment says.
At the internal level, a “good” action has the color of violence in a violent individual, for BEING gives the vibe to DOING.
Want an example?
Pleasurable activities such as sex, is mostly driven by violence at this time. Sex becomes the fascinating mix of pain, violence and pleasure. We call that “normal” even label that as “making love” but be aware that the origin is our conditioning to be violent, thus; it is “normal” behavior under that conditioning.
When someone is experiencing the process of “self-realization,” there is a time to experience a deep catharsis. It is in that period when all so called “normal” but violent traits, behaviors and desires will come out in the open to dilute themselves. Those traits may have been repressed as to look and behave “good” in society, but the façade needs to go away.
At that point it may finally be discovered why, an activity meant to bring exquisite joy and vitality such as sex; becomes a “problem” for “normal” people.
Conditioning, emotional traumas, religious beliefs, and fear to express sensuality and pleasure have distorted our ability to feel, through the experience of many life times of repression.
Add to it, the unbalanced use of the mind which brings the inability of the modern man to feel pleasure while being fully present, in the “now.” The mind is in the past or the future, and that is where it will be despite the experience of pleasure and joy.
This creates great unfulfillment.
Tantra starts by diluting those accumulated traumas and fears. This will open the correct functioning of the sexual organs/ system. Opening the heart to feel, becomes very important for sex, so it acquires a whole different dimension: It is no longer just a “normal” release to satisfy the cravings of the conditioned mind, but a way to experience great relaxation, vitality and joy. That is fulfillment. This in turn, will bring a healthy, vital and centered human being, able to integrate all energies given in Life. This is what truly is a “spiritual” being.
Any “teachings” of Tantra to human beings who have not gone through the process of catharsis, will be only another method to enhance sexual pleasure, and that is the extent of it.
Yes, for many humans that is all they want out of Tantra; but what they DO is not truly Tantra; for there is no DOING of it, no method, no technique. It happens naturally.
Someone can teach a method of a breathing technique to improve our sex life. We will need to practice it and remind ourselves to DO it. It is not natural for us, although we may be told that after a while it will become natural. As mentioned many times before, DOING does not change BEING. We could remember during sex to “practice,” allowing the mind to take away the experience of the “now;” but we cannot remember to DO this breathing throughout the different events of the day.
A relaxed, open, harmonious breathing becomes natural as our state of consciousness leaves aside emotional traumas, conditioned teachings, stresses and a life of empty busy-ness.
Naturally that BEING will discover Tantra in its full extent when AWARE. For the rest, is only about “having great sex” (the icing of the cake) by taking expensive classes, reading books and lots of practice to remember the method to control ourselves, to press here and there in the body to avoid having a premature ejaculation, etc.
To each its own.
The Buddha Gautama became naturally celibate. He did not “make effort” to be celibate. It happened naturally as a process in his life.
Imitators believe that to be “spiritual” they need to be celibate just like the Buddha was. Imitators will “practice” celibacy even though it is not natural for them. They will “make effort.” They will write a commandment: “You must be celibate to be enlightened. ” This repression made into a “practice,” becomes their source of ego.
That sort of misunderstanding of the unique process of a self-realized being is made into a commandment for the masses to follow.
That ideal is truly a form a violence.
Sacred sexuality is in fashion. Sacredness starts with a person. As he is sacred through self-realization, everything he does becomes sacred. A violent individual cannot DO sacred sexuality no matter how many classes he takes about Tantra.
The experiences that Life may bring to us are in correspondence with who we ARE.
Our perception of the world is according to those experiences.
Whatever we perceive from the outside, it is a reflection of the inside. Therefore, outside and inside are equal.
The labels, “outside” and “inside” are formalisms, a way to preserve the duality ingrained in our minds.
Our minds have saved some experiences in a compartment with the label “righteous” in it. That is the model, the ideal to shape up the “reality” of the outside which only mimics the “inside,” that is who we truly ARE.
For instance, there is violence, an unjust perception which needs to be changed “now.” The price of changing something “now,” is violence and further injustice.
The mind could understand that “Life is change.” But the mind cannot understand that there is a process for change in any direction.
The “I” of the mind is unwilling to allow for the process to take effect, since there is an ideal of “righteousness” in the mind to attain, “right now.”
We may have an ideal of a “better world,” but that ideal cannot become a reality for us because we ARE not that.
The “I” who IS not in tune with a “better world” wants change that doesn’t fit who he IS. The “inside” does not match the idealized “outside.”
Thus, “Spiritual talk” about MAKING a “better world,” is just pretty talk, for BEING does not change by DOING. Nevertheless, that talk could be inspirational.
How could there be change of BEING?
It is happening, but the “I” many times does not allow it. Therefore, by respecting the process for any change without that respect is violence. The ideal may be to become a saint “now.” There is a process in between. Respect that.
The process is gained through living Life in AWARENESS. As we notice who we ARE, as we allow ourselves to fully experience that, the seed of change will be planted. Nothing remains the same. Change has the path of polarity within, the trigger to start the trip is our AWARENESS.
Everyone may want to change “right now” into a loving, peaceful, happy being. That does not happen by DOING something. There is a process behind that change, as every individual is in a different stage of development. The process is very important to develop insight, inner knowledge, wisdom. The process is known as Living Life.
That understanding will give us openness, amplitude of vision. We become tolerant not because it is “good,” not because “God wants it,” or the “law,” but because that is who we ARE.
Who we ARE cannot be defined or confined, for there is always change … Can we live with that certainty? 🙂
“When we believe that our reactions to situations are dependent on the situation, then we shift to an automatic way of reacting, rather than choosing our reactions.
Situations outside are uncertain. If we make our state of mind dependent on them, then our reactions also become uncertain.”
The above was sent to me via email. I am copying that here because the above will help illustrate something which is very difficult to explain: “ A different state of consciousness.”
Teachers, Gurus and even “Gods” (in different religions) are not teaching the “truth,” but only teaching a method to gain awareness while in a particular type of consciousness (followers.) Teachings are geared towards students residing in certain consciousness.
The above quote is the popular teaching on “having control on how we react” and “choosing our reactions.” Seems like a wonderful teaching to follow. Right?
When a person starts their journey into inner search, that person does not have awareness. Their minds’ inner chattering is continuously clouding that awareness. Their reactions are learned mechanisms. They may blame others when they react in a certain way.
For example, Mary screamed at Sam. Sam slapped Mary in return. Sam blamed Mary of his reaction. She made him violent, he said. For Sam, Mary had a violent interaction (screaming.) For Mary, screaming at someone is not violent. She has learned that. It is “normal” for her. If you are upset with someone, you scream at him to show that. That is the way soap opera actresses (super stars) behave… and even Mary’s mom, aunt and older sister behave the same way.
Thus, a teaching telling Mary: “ Don’t get angry. To scream is bad. You will go to hell if you scream at someone. God will be upset with you,” etc. That teaching is trying to change Mary’s behavior. “Here is how you react: Be silent. Don’t do anything. Feel compassion for them.”
Yes! What a wonderful teaching! It makes sense. It is “logical.” 🙂
A few days later, Mary is upset with Sam. Mary remembered this teaching and “chose” to be silent.
Wonderful! Mary feels happy about her “improvement.”
Mary does not realize yet that she has learned to repress her anger.
A few days later, there comes Sam again to “make” Mary upset.
Mary was too angry to remember any “good” teachings this time… She failed “her test.” She screamed at Sam and in the process received another slap in the face.
She took her “punishment” without complaint, for she had failed and she felt guilty. She needs forgiveness now in order to be “good” again…
If Mary becomes aware, she will notice her repression of anger.
That is a step forward, because before the teaching she did not have any awareness whatsoever.
She also realized that “to stop and choose how to react,” many times is impossible to DO. That is why she “failed her tests” in many occasions.
Awareness is working wonders now!
Mary may decide to ignore her findings and decide to “try harder” next time… OR she may decide not to repress her anger because she heard a teaching by a super Guru which said “to repress is bad.”
Mary’s mind will go to extremes. She needs to experience that “trip” to move into another consciousness. Becoming aware of that repression is a necessary step. Mary cannot study “how not to repress.” She needs to live it to know.
When she does that, the previous teachings will not apply to her anymore.
The issue in a new consciousness is not what you DO or how you react, the issue is if you are AWARE of yourself while it is happening. To be AWARE is not a mind thing such as “think before you act.” AWARENESS is beyond the mind.
If Mary is AWARE of becoming angry while interacting with Sam, that AWARENESS will not go into anger mode unless she wants to. If Mary is not anger, there is no way Sam could bring anger from her. That is why BEING is before DOING and DOING several times something does not change BEING. Consciousness is not changed by repetition (DOING) but it changes as a natural process of LIVING. When we are AWARE of that process; we become conscious, awaken.
Let me give another example: It is as if 3 year old Carol, had the need to pee and she couldn’t control it because she is not aware yet. The “moral” teaching for her is: “Peeing your pants is “bad.” You will be punished. Avoid peeing.” Thus, “choose” not to pee. “Think” before you pee… 🙂 It is all about the mind.
When Carol learns to be AWARE of the sensation, peeing her pants is no longer an issue. It is not a matter of “choice” but of AWARENESS. When Mary learns to go to the bathroom as she has been trained, she will understand that the moral ultimatum of “Peeing your pants is bad” is not true… but it was useful at one time, for she is in a different consciousness now.
The second paragraph of the quoted paragraph, will be dealt with next time…
We already ARE everything we would like to BE.
There is no “improving” needed. What is needed is to unlearn, to take away all the cloudy games of the mind, to dispel the layers of fear, shame and guilt, to become aware of the conditioning, the beliefs, the superstitions. That is all. That is what some people call “darkness,” “shadows.”
Therefore as we ARE right now, with all of those “features;” we ARE not. There is not a unified presence but a multitude of “I’s.”
How could we think about changing the world? How could we think about changing ourselves?
We ARE not. Who is going to attempt those changes?
The mind and its beliefs. Someone who is not real yet.
We ARE imitations, conditioned minds, mostly unable to feel.
We may believe that we are feeling, but we are merely thinking that we feel.
How could we know anything if we do not know who we ARE?
I am not talking about the conditioned response: “I am a soul.”
Even though that may be true, those words are of not use for someone who IS not. It is only an intellectual definition; very important for the mind to have, because then you believe “you know.”
For someone who IS, those words are not necessary. BEING does not depend on definitions or concepts. It is not related with the trips of the mind.
The presence of who we ARE is clouded by the mind. Thus, the mind makes up several personalities who are continuously changing: Today “I am this,” a few minutes later; someone else.
Gentle a minute ago, violent right now, sad a few minutes later and feeling guilty the next hour…
Could you BE alone and enjoy yourself? Don’t you need someone to define who you ARE? To show you who you ARE? To bring the “best” of you? 🙂
I am not saying that we should be alone. I am saying that someone else defines who we ARE, someone else gives meaning to our existence.
That is because we depend on the outside to BE. The outside colors and shapes our BEING. The mind takes those “teachings” and will remember them, to define us, to make us believe that we are safe…
If your mind is violent, how could you be compassionate?
By making (doing) effort to BE non-violent? By DOING something?
No! There is not DOING able to change BEING.
Our mind will be violent, no matter what we DO, no matter what we believe in, no matter how many “beautiful” experiences we may have, no matter how holy we act.
That is why, for a violent mind; any action no matter how “good” that may be, it will be tinted with violence.
If we repress our violence, still it will be there.
There is nothing we can DO about that violence. We could only be AWARE of it as it IS, as it appears. Without judgment, without a repressing thought; observe who you ARE at that moment. Don’t hide in your morality, in your rationality, simply accept that who you ARE without labels.
That unconditional acceptance is the beginning of change.
That is the beginning of BEING Conscious.
You see, there are no beliefs here. No Paradise, no Samadhi, no Salvation, nothing to strive to; because that striving does not allow you to BE conscious of the “now,” of who you ARE.
The pretty ideas of the future, the pretty stories of who you “could become” are not needed for the one who is AWARE.
Only the “NOW” is there. The mind does not have a chance to expand, to dream, to make up stories. You are AWAKE.
There is no hope to escape someplace, no beliefs to hide into; but the unconditional acceptance of what is, as it is; the “now.”
We cannot practice honesty. We can only allow it to happen.
When the “I” is hurt through an experience, there could be revenge or there could be surrendering as a reaction. Either way, the “I” cannot let go or move on, for the pain will not allow it.
When a person speaks of the need for emotional or psychological healing, that person is describing a traumatic experience, which wasn’t allowed to dissolve through the full process.
That experience could come from many lives before, but the pain will be triggered through different experiences in our current life.
A person who lacks awareness will only point a finger onto the culprit of his woes, or try to get rid of the “source” of his pain, or even become submissive of a greater force than himself.
All of those reactions are merely there to reject the experience.
To be submissive is to reject our own self worth.
Suzie had issues with her mother from an early age. Her mother was very bossy, thinking that she was right all the time. Suzie couldn’t express herself well. She would keep an experience that she perceived as unjust towards her, in her heart… the “unconscious.”
Suzie developed problems with her digestion which had a psychological origin; however, doctors kept medicating her for a physical problem. Life continued on and those resentments surfaced in Suzie. As the mother became older, she wasn’t the same. Life taught her to tone down, she became almost like a child, but Suzie’s resentment and anger were unleashed towards her mother. “Time to get even,” Suzie thought.
Suzie left the house and she swore never to see her mother again after all the things that she had done to her…
“Time will heal,” we say; but it doesn’t.
Time only covers the wounds.
Those wounds will be open again at some other time.
When the “I” suffers from an experience; there may be a need for “time off.”
That is the time to recuperate and build ourselves up.
General wisdom will advice: “ Move on, forget the past.”
The trauma cannot be forgotten, it will resurface until we realize that we need to face the issue.
“The issues are in the tissues,” and they will resurface as long as fear and our inability to face things is not realized.
Suzie may have the space to recuperate. She may have the space to fill herself with peace, but unless she realizes her attraction towards violence as away to punish herself, she will continually look for violence towards her being: Self-inflicted or not.
Her mother was the trigger and the source to give the opportunity for Suzie to heal.
Why does Suzie punish herself?
There is guilt in her. That guilt needs to be dissolved. The typical word used is “forgiven.”
Suzie may not see it as it is easier to blame the obvious: “Her mother is a witch.” Yes, her mother has her own issues to deal with, but in a household of 3 kids, only one of them was affected as much as Suzie did. In Life, nothing is a random event. The web of interactions is exactly as it needs to be.
We could easily say: “That is Suzie’s karma” but that does not bring any solution to her woes. “You acted wrong in another Life, now you have to pay for it.”
That is a story for little children.
We may need to deal with what is “now” and Life will bring the tools and resources to do it, if we are ready; if the “I” will allow it by not holding onto beliefs, but by having the courage to face the truth as it changes, as it unfolds…
If that emotion is “let go,” then the time to move on has arrived.
The proof that the issue is gone is in Suzie’s interaction with her mother and not in running away and using the “spiritual buzzwords” of “letting go and moving on.”
Therefore, it is in the moment when Suzie faces her mother empty of that guilt, when she will know if she is healed from previous traumatic experiences.
Please keep this in your awareness: Every experience in Life only will show us who we are. Nothing wrong with that. Just become aware of it.
When Suzie is empty of that inner-guilt, there is no outside violence, which will be a magnet for her.
“When do we move on and let go, then?”
When there is no space in us for that type of wound to appear.
When Suzie has dealt with her guilt and she is able to feel appreciation and compassion for her mother, then she could move on and let go of the past and that will be without effort, it will be as natural as watching a rainy day from the comfort of our home.
We could see the beauty, the uniqueness… but we will not get soaking wet.
“Love” will then have a different dimension in Suzie’s heart.
She is healed. 🙂