Tagged: spiritual teachings

Nothing to teach

I used to gather every weekend with a group of “seekers.” We were just like friends, sharing different things about “spirituality.” Few liked Ahnanda’s insight. Others did not. Some even despised it.  Nothing new! It was another opportunity to argue, to prove who was “right” and who was “wrong.” Ego driven “spirituality.”
Ahnanda is just like them… another view point.  There is no way they could ever know/believe that Ahnanda is going through a process of self-realization. Is that something making me “special”? My experience is  my experience. It is not the “only truth.” It is not the “only path.” There is no such a thing as “the true path.” That much, I know. Perhaps that is enough.  🙂

Ahnanda does not perform miracles. He does not perform any healing or fortune telling. He does not have promises of salvation. He is not being endorsed by influential people. He is a nobody, where to be “somebody” is important.
Typically, things that he expresses will get distorted: “what you mean is this, right?” and after a few minutes those “important” things, will get completely forgotten… 🙂

Benefit for a seeker is encountered when they can IDENTIFY with what is being shared through their own experience. Otherwise, it does not make any sense. That is why there are so many “teachings” for so many types of consciousness. The ones geared for the collective consciousness are the “best seller” material, the “democratic truth;” the ones who are not, are for fewer. At the end, No teachings here but only recognition of an experience through the words of another.  That is how a “follower” is born.

 “Spiritual gurus” (whether self-realized or not) emphasize the need of their disciples to blindly follow what they “teach” so the disciples in time, could get the “vibe” and that will become part of them. A disciple with an argumentative mind, will not fit this set up. That is the theory.

However, I can now see that if there is no love from the disciple, there will not be openness to listen beyond words, to assimilate beyond dogmas and to mesh like a sponge does with water.
That sort of love is not necessarily romantic. That path is meant for those who have the capacity to open up and be as accepting as water.

In that sort of relationship, there are no teachings. It is a oneness. How could you teach yourself? This is not book learning, this is assimilation of Life experiences together.

Ahnanda only shares his experiences. AWARENESS is the big “keyword” here, but it is not just a word. The meaning is beyond the word. Love and trust to Life, are closely hidden behind awareness.

In my experience, the true measure of a man is found when you have too much free time on your hands: You could be unemployed, you could be bedridden through sickness or old age, you could be in jail or any other situation with lots of time in your hands. Most individuals will destroy themselves. Others will try to get busy and lost into “achievements” by making themselves into “something” in Life. Very few, will enjoy their own company and allow Life to open them up until there is nothing to call “I” but for namesake only.

There is nothing to teach, for you ARE and others could only recognize that, if it is meant to be. You ARE “something” but that is not to “be something in Life” as society teaches. That “something” that you ARE through self-realization, is very close to “nothing” and for that, even closer to “everything.”  Of course, Love is everything.
Does it make sense?

No “best seller” material. 🙂

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The belief on “Spiritual Teachings.”

Any spiritual teaching presents a vision to understand Life, the world. That vision is like a map. It brings security to the follower to mitigate his uncertainty; although that vision is limiting.

Why is it limiting?
A map is not the real thing. If I need to explain this further, see Life as driving in a highway. We enter into the highway and the “decision” will have to be made right there. There is no time for questions. No time to review the map. Speed up? Slow down? Use your signal? Change lanes? Slow down to speed up? There are so many variants. Are you looking for the “right one”? Was that ever written some place in a holy book?

The “spiritual teaching” maybe something like: “Be careful while driving in the highway.” Fear is introduced.
Let me ask; is there any meaning to that “be careful”?
Perhaps be AWARE is a far better “teaching,” however; it is another pretty word to say to look “good,” concerned…
AWARENESS cannot be taught. You ARE or you may not be AWARE.

It is through AWARENESS how we could realize things about ourselves and through that “teaching” our BEING will behave (DO) in the world. That knowing is experiential and valuable. It is not second hand.

AWARENESS is some sort of sensibility. It comes when we are conscious of ourselves (feelings, thoughts, emotions) alone and in relationship. The word describing our “teacher” in Life is OBSERVATION.
The capacity to observe will bring sensibility and that in turn will bring awareness, consciousness.

We are conditioned to judge, to follow what is believed to be “right,” which is some script that we have learned from someone. We call that discernment. A pretty word to hide conditioning.

When you know the features in your car, you can use them to ADAPT to the environment, what is happening, the “now.”

Observe the person you are talking with. Can you FEEL his intention, his vibe?
Did he shake your hand? Yes?? He was following the map. You “thought” he was a good fellow, well educated, well-conditioned.

Let me briefly explore mainstream “Tantra” teachings: A certified sex guru is needed. Someone to tell us what to DO.
Step #1: Breathe slowly. Step #2: Move slowly. Step #3: Last as long as you can…
That is the software to “practice.” The teaching to follow to be “successful.”

If we had OBSERVATION, we wouldn’t follow STEPS. We would BE those naturally.
OBSERVE our own rigidity. Our own pre-conceptions. Our need to be in control. Observe the need of our ego to perform to some standard. Observe our inability to feel pleasure and enjoy pleasure with the simplest things in Life: The feeling of water running through our naked body, a caress that spreads to our whole being… Observe how our capacity to enjoy has diminished to the point where relaxation is never felt, sensuality is not part of ourselves. Sexual pleasure is merely an “itch” to get rid of.

That sensibility to feel is gained in solitary aloneness. That is the needed space. Through that gained AWARENESS the “map” is no longer needed. Every moment is to BE in the highway of Life. Forget about the prescriptions, the methods, the technicalities. Our unpracticed, unlearned sensibility will take us places… Just relax, unwind. Let the last second “decisions” come without thinking about it.

“Spiritual teachings” are needed only because we live in the mind, so we cannot BE. Thus, we DO them, practice them, follow them, copy them.
Outside of the mind, there is a world of sensibility, which is unknown to most. How do we call that world?
Love.
Sensibility is her daughter. AWARENESS, her twin sister. 🙂 The height of human sexuality is in that “family. ” Spiritual teachings, will tell us to DO what is not meant to be DOne. 

 

Epilogue: Death is a window until the door is shown

ch-beliefdontsee

Life presents different perspectives from different people who are under the same situation.

A friend mentioned: “I know what is like to lose a father.”
We can only know about our own experience. Let us not generalize. If a particular experience was full of sorrow, pain and uncertainty; then the expectation is that everyone should experience the same thing.

That belief, does not allow for openness in our consciousness for the “I” becomes the center of the Universe.
“I feel this way, therefore; everyone else must.”

Ananda’s sister; Raysha, is gifted with a high sensitivity.

Raysha saw her father sitting by a lake in a region of white light. He looked much younger and his body was of white light. They spoke to each other. Raysha noticed that his father did not have any emotions in him.

Ananda asked Mathias, the wise tree about this episode.

Mathias responded: “ When you get re-set, you do not have any experiences in you. ”
Ananda: “Re-set?…But if my father was “re-set,” what is the benefit of going through the previous experiences if he will be in “zero” mode?”

Mathias: “ He will take with him what he needs for his next life experience.”
Ananda thought: “ But…who gets to give him what he needs for his next experience?”
Mathias said: “ The Totality.”

Ananda smiled: “ I understand now, Mathias… Thank you.”

Our minds are framed in the belief of being separated. It is that “I” with is own stubbornness and pride who fights to continue on. That belief is so enrooted in our bodies and mind which only allow us to perceive this individuality, separation. That is the cause of suffering and it is suffering the one who will burn that “I” until it gives up, surrenders, bows down, let go, etc. Use the word you wish, but we get the idea.

When that happens, a new experience awaits.

That “burning” can take many years of suffering or just a month of “intense fire” like in Ananda’s father’s case.
Then, according to what is needed in the Totality, the Universe, life, etc; the drop of water will be ready to appear in another place, another time, another circumstance to perform a particular task needed for self-preservation of that Totality.

That is the moment when the “I” will be born again.

Observe that I could label any of the words above with religious terms.
I could call the “Totality” as “God.” I could name the region of white light as “the subtle region.”
I could call that experience of “purging the I” as purgatory, hell, punishment, etc.

I could call Ananda’s father as an “angel.”

Forget the labels.

What you interpret, dear reader; out of all the experiences that I have shared with you up to this point, is your interpretation. That could range from “nonsense, false, true, the holy truth, etc.”

It does not matter to Ananda the way the above is interpreted. Ananda only shares his experiences here, for the common good.

What is the epilogue of the characters of this story of life?

For Raysha, it is to know that his Father is doing alright. A sense of closure. To know that Life does not end when the body perishes. That is no longer a belief. That experience of dealing with his father’s passing was a source of internal growth, the kind which no book, lesson or “spiritual teaching” could ever give.

For Ananda it is the trigger to recognize that “I.”
To dissolve all his previous religious beliefs and to “re-set” his mind into the wonderful and amazing experience of living life with joy. The teacher and the student are the same. However, life is the teacher… and there are friends to listen to in life. 🙂

For Ananda’s mother is the time to deal with herself. That is to experience loneliness and attachment. She has lived for 50 years with her husband.
Some may say: Is to have a relationship “bad”?
Not at all. She grew with the support of that relationship, now the opposite must be experienced. That is the world of duality. If there was no “I” in her, how could she experience loneliness or attachment?

Some religions or beliefs will state that it is best “not to open karmic accounts.”
That “black or white” belief, does not take into account that every experience in life is an opportunity for growth. It is not the action in itself but the state of consciousness. It is not the time that we spend being “spiritual” but our readiness through life experiences.

If we don’t experience, we do not learn. If we don’t suffer, we do not grow. If we don’t know our limits, we cannot go over them.

For Ananda’s little brother, the time has arrived to walk his own path into life, for if he remains in dependency; he will miss the experience of life through his own lenses.

Ananda’s father got liberated from his decaying physical body and in the process; he has obtained a new consciousness.

Therefore, everyone gets benefit.

To live life is an awesome experience, thus; to be amazed by it, to be in gratitude to it; to completely appreciate it as it presents itself… that is to be in love with it…is the greatest experience.

The truth and beliefs: Questions by BK followers

Below some questions by Brahma Kumaris followers.

Avyakt7 currently, does not wish to be engaged in any belief system, although avyakt7 respects someone else’s beliefs.

Avyakt7 will not emit judgment whereas your belief about a belief system is wrong or right, or the explanation that you received is “right” or “wrong.” Avyakt7 has no opinion on those issues.

Dear BK readers,
Let us go into the main lessons of your belief system:

The first lesson is that “I am soul.” The second lesson is “God is a soul.”
My question is: Can you know God unless you know yourself?
God and “you” have the same eternal nature. Unless the experience of that which you believe in, is experienced in yourself, there is no possibility of knowing what you believe God is.

Do you know Avyakt7? Because you read these writings here, do you think that you know avyakt7? Because you have spoken with Avyakt7, do you think that you know him? Because you have seen his picture or a video, do you think that you know him? How can you know avyakt7?
By being him, of course. Who is him?
Isn’t “he” a soul? 🙂
Isn’t God a soul?
Aren’t you a soul?

In spirituality, knowing is being it. In the “normal” world, to know means to have the head full of information about something. We cannot know what swimming is by just reading about it. We cannot talk about Spirituality without observing and knowing ourselves, because in that we could know everyone else.
We share the same nature.

When we understand deeply the above, we can abandon the idea of being a “devotee” of God and turn our journey into the honest quest of knowing yourself.

That is called with many names by many spiritual teachers: Soul consciousness, dying alive, detached observer, self transformation, self realization, emptiness, nothingness, detached participant, self- awareness, consciousness, Buddha and of course, illumination…

Now let us go back in to the “soul.”
The word “Soul” is just information, a label to denote something which can only be experienced. When that something is experienced, then we can put different labels to that something: Some may call that spirit, others, emptiness, others light, self, bindi, atma, purusha, etc, etc.

The third lesson in your belief system is about the cycle of time.
Let me ask you, is the “soul” bound to time? No, because it is eternal. Then, how is it possible to experience time?
It is a contradiction… That is why, we cannot explore these things with intellectual understanding, with “0” or “1” answers.
We are both, we experience time and we are time-less. It just depends in our consciousness.
That “contradiction” that we found is the “door” to further realizations.

We cannot talk about the timeless with words bound in time. We cannot understand the timeless, when our consciousness is bound in time.

Last question: In which moment of the cycle of time do we truly know God? 🙂
If you say “now,” Please read this response again from the beginning. Note that in the Golden age, God is not there and that is the moment of highest consciousness, when those beings know themselves. When they are “equal to the Father.” 🙂

Throughout Avyakt7’s life, the search for the truth was the main point and driving force in my life. First, it was understood as a label, as something intellectual to understand, to write down and tell everyone. To know God was part of that intellectual understanding; but that wasn’t enough.

Then, Avyakt7 went through different changes and found the truth in knowing myself, going through the journey of observing the only thing that Avyakt7 can change in the whole world.

The queen who lost her necklace was looking for it everywhere until she realized/ became aware/ conscious that she was wearing that necklace all along.

We could believe in anything, doubt in anything… but finding the necklace is where fulfillment is no longer an idea to believe in.

Best wishes from the heart!

—————————–

1. “In a class I heard that there are souls who reside in the soul world when they do not have a role to play in the drama. So, this means those souls are with Baba for a longer time than the souls who start the drama from Golden age. Isn’t that what we all want in the end- to spend more time with Baba? Why would we want to start from Golden age?”

2. “Dear Avayakt7, Bapdada’s role specifically in terms of service: three types of service Bodily, Wealth and through the mind. Is the topic of maximum number of souls served the basis of your position in the beginning of the cycle? If that is correct then Brahma Baba being number one is a little flawed inspite of his avayakt role. There is a feeling that Dadi Prakashmani had more to do with expansion. I understand that this is specific to the BK Belief system but wanted your view on the whole aspect of service connected to the position you would get.. or is this is a story of the carrot being waved? Would love your response.”

3. “Does God ever become “imperfect”? In BK gyan, they say that God has come in the body of Brahma and give knowledge to human being in order for them to make effort and become deity. We all know that the “perfect” stage is only in the soul world which means “zero”. When souls come down on earth to play their parts, the mind then be created and their stages gradually decline into 1 ,2 ,3… till 15 and body consciousness grasps in. So when God Himself comes into the field of action, does He become 1 rather than still in “zero” stage? Because you know when souls start to use physical organs, information start to flow in, create fluctuation which is the mind.”

God: The truth according to your experience

God

Please read the following carefully to avoid misinterpretations. 🙂

Yesterday, we had a question about God not being “omnipresent.” Let me go a bit further into that.

It is not a secret that in the beginning of Brahma Kumaris, God was seen as being “omnipresent” as known in Christianity; but later on; that concept changed into a “personal God,” known as Shiva.

The above paragraph is seen by some as “evidence” that this knowledge is “wrong.”

Nothing further from the truth.

When Spirituality needs to be explained through words, a scripture will be created and through that scripture a dogma to be “believed” by “believers” which are not usually in tune with spirituality but worldly information which is taken as the building block for further understanding.

This has happened in every known major religion.

In every religion; as those teachings get to the masses, the original spiritual experience will be lost and instead our minds will take over and “rationalization” will start. That is how “others” acquaint themselves with a spiritual experience, through their own rationalization.

At a deeper level of realization on this knowledge, we can see that there is a Drama going on. Therefore, it is an illusion that “someone” is acting in it when there is a role which needs to be performed. However, all that could be changed is the experience that someone has over that role.

Please see this point; experiences are part of that role and it is according to our “interpretation” of those experiences, the way that we will look at the world.

Therefore, what is the aim of living if is not to be able to enjoy the experience that life offers us, by being beyond duality; that is; the “2 faces” of illusion: Sorrow and Pleasure. All spiritual teachings will teach that.

This sort of awareness is what is known as being a “detached observer.” Also known as “karmateet.”

How we get there is what differs among human beings.

Gautama, the Buddha; experienced that without knowledge of how everything works; but he experienced that level of detachment. Consequently, his karmic account changed as well, providing him with a fruitful new birth. Interestingly enough, he did this without the knowledge of God. It is not that Buddha was an atheist, as “intellectual, logical” people will put it.

The Buddha simply, did not think about that question of God’s existence for he was concerned about knowing the self.

Christ reached a similar nature in his life, with the knowledge of God. He considered himself, the “son of God.” His experience of God allowed him to know himself, to recognize himself in relation to God.

In Hinduism and Dharmic religions; we see the same pattern: Some have a God, some others do not. Some see God as being “everywhere” not interpreted as God residing in the dog, the cat, the stones, etc; which is pantheism; but the spiritual vision is that in a “world of illusion” (The movie) the only thing that I could see is God. That is, whatever my concept of God is according to my experience. It is the concept of “unity” by seeing only the ONE.

Note how our interpretation plays a fundamental role in understanding deeper spiritual knowledge.

In the above examples, what we see are different views; different paths. Different experiences as the Drama of life provides; however, the single unique aim in all of those “perceptions of reality” is SELF REALIZATION.

Some need God to realize ego. Some do not. Some only know about the Drama (Taoists) but others do not need that when all there is needed is complete love to God. That is to be lost in love, which paradoxically means, SELF REALIZATION, for we are love.

Some idealize “reaching God.” It is a thought in the mind based on the consciousness of physicality. Here is “you” and here is “God.” We have so much love as a wife has for a husband.
That is a spiritual relationship based on an example of something known in the physical world.

In spirituality to reach that state of self realization is to be ONE with everything. That is at the spiritual level there is no sense of separation, no sense of “you and me” for that ego which brings identity will be gone.

The consciousness at that level is different. That is to be “merged with the Father,” for in that; separation of any kind is just a source of ego, an illusion which is the consciousness that most of us have, because we are attached to the physical world through our consciousness of being just an individual and without realizing that we are connected with everything that exists.

The reason of knowing God at this time, is to know this knowledge; for once we know that then we will understand that our experience of God will be according to our roles. We didn’t have this piece before and we fought with others to demonstrate that “my truth” is the truth.

However, as exquisite the experience may be with God; the aim and objective is SELF REALIZATION. Bottom line.

This knowledge allow us to understand the need of the time. It allows us to see , the importance of reaching that SELF REALIZATION, because according to time, something different is in store in the Drama. THAT IS IT.

However, some will take this opportunity as a way to worship, as a way to get connected with devotion and rituals, etc. to get to “know God,” forgetting the main point of SELF REALIZATION. By knowing the self, we can experience God; for there is no separation at the spiritual level.

Therefore, in the Brahma Kumaris path, the method of “ I AM GOD,” which changed to “GOD is SHIVA,” merely changed the method to pursue that SELF REALIZATION, as explained above. It is a process.

The ones who are concerned with intellectual debates and logic and reasoning, will see that shift as “lack of consistency,” when in fact, it is a necessary step in self realization which Brahma Baba went through.

Methods will differ. God is a being. The way we use God to pursue that SELF REALIZATION is our method.

Every religion has a different method.

Those who would like to dwell on rationality and try to “intellectually” understand something which is not meant to be “intellectually” understood but experienced for SELF TRANSFORMATION, would be caught up in the duality of language: “It is either A or B. But it is not logical to be A and B at the same time.”

“God is omnipresent or He is not.” “God is in Parandham or He is here in the physical world; but He cannot be in both places at once.” “If I am God, then God cannot be Shiva.” (Even though it was explained that at the soul level there is no separation and the “proof” will be your own experience.)

Please see the futility, if you would; the “rational stupidity” of that.

Fortunately for us, there is “Quantum physics.” Then those “logical” and rational individuals will be challenged when there is something here, which exists at the same time, “there.” When something is “this” but at the same time, it is not.

Many paths one aim. SELF REALIZATION.
Every path is made perfectly for every soul. The Drama is beneficial for all.

Spiritual teachings: All according to our consciousness

spirituality

As mentioned before, Spirituality is one. However, it is “explained” in many ways according to the audience, the experiences of the “teacher,” and the time.

Spiritual teachings are not meant to be the same for everyone, even though there may be a common beginning.

Just like a seed transforms into a tree, we could see that there are different branches on that tree. All different but still belonging to that same tree.

In history, there has been many spiritual teachers. Interestingly enough, many teachings have been placed into a religion. When that happens, the spiritual teachings become interpreted by their followers.

For instance, the Bible. It is composed of many different books. Christ did not write anything. His disciples wrote everything there is in the “New Testament.” As a matter of fact, the main writer was Paul. Christian teachings are based on Paul’s understanding of Christ teachings.

The same, we can see with other well known religious scriptures such as the Gita. There are many interpretations of the Gita by different “gurus” and even the origin of those scripture is unknown.

However, when any scripture is made for the “masses” that is for “everyone,” then the depth of that scripture needs to be changed for that level of understanding.

Christ spoke to the masses. Buddha spoke to the masses.

In Brahma Kumaris, the “Murli” was spoken to a small group of people without further spiritual training and education. The “main engine” was love to God. However, that love was according to what these people knew about love. As we progress in spirituality, love acquires a complete different meaning. Something which is completely unknown for the “masses.” Something which is only known as we go through the path.

Therefore, a “teaching” has to meet the student. Otherwise, it will not be understood.

Once a spiritual teachings needs to go to the masses, it has to change and depth will not be there.

It is a this time, when we need to use a deeper realization to be able to see through it and find the deeper jewels according to our own experience.

Spirituality is a very personal path once the groundwork has been initiated and it is stable.

Our level of commitment will give us the key for greater understanding.

For instance, some spiritual teaching could teach us about the need to “tolerate.” We need to tolerate that person, that situation, etc.

Some other teaching will teach us that there is no need to tolerate when there is love in us.

Some other teaching will teach us that when there is no “I” there is no “you” to tolerate or “you” to love.

Who is right? Which teaching is better?

Those 3 teachings are right. But they represent different levels of understanding and experiences.
Once we see that spirituality is one but explained in different ways by different teachers, we could have that openness to learn and to experience spirituality as it is, to be open to the “truth” not as a “final product” as in a dogmatic view, a religious dogma; but rather, as growth. It is the seed growing to become a tree. That tree cannot be described through a teaching, for we do not know how that tree will look like. All we know is that it will become a tree, but no what kind of tree.

As our consciousness grows, so our understanding.
This growth happens only when we are open to grow. That is our particular time for growth.

Teachings without Corrections: The trademark of excellence

In my life I have experienced “corrections” from every source: From my parents, from school teachers, from supervisors, from spiritual guides, from close ones, etc.
Nevertheless, my favorite “All time list of teachers” in this life, due to their gentle, wise and unpretentious teaching style is made by the following: Bill C.; Master Po; Mathias and BapDada.
That is it! 🙂
Through them I have experienced teachings without corrections.

This sharing will be about the significance of corrections in teachings in general.

Below a couple of videos; One with BapDada and the other with Master Po in action.

The issue with corrections is that it separates and usually builds some sort of “Ego,” that is “ego of superiority,” and the opposite of “not knowing, being unworthy,”etc.
In this game of opposite forces learning is not supported, but fear is the “carrot which will move the donkey.”

We fear being told in public about our mistakes. We fear the tone of voice of someone who feels to be “right” and wants to take advantage of that situation. There is no learning here but rejection of that “teaching style” and simple “following” for the sake of avoiding further emotional suffering.

Those corrections take different forms according to our spiritual level or maturity. From screaming your lungs out to someone to make yourself be heard, to “telling someone to change now , or otherwise…” to a more subtle manipulation of “If you don’t do this then, you do not belong to us.. and we are the “special” ones. You are gonna feel sorry..”

Those corrections tend to change people according to perceptions of what is right or wrong. Those corrections will be introduced in a subtle way or in a violent way with the only purpose of changing behaviors and not allowing individuals to change themselves.

Spirituality does not work like that.

I have observed that I became in tune with learning from someone, when these teachings came as a sharing of experience based on the integrity of the individual sharing the teachings.
In other words, if the person “walked the talk,” I will hear his voice. Hierarchies meant very little to me, positions the same, but integrity was a high value that all of a sudden opened up my interest in listening to someone.

In a typical recent Avaykt Murli, is interesting to hear and watch BapDada’s style to teach his “children.”
He doesn’t change his expression. He has a fine sense of humor with rhyming words in between and He does not have a hidden agenda as far as trying to change anyone.
He just shares what BapDada has to say and moves on.

Ultimatums are over. There are no poses of “knowing it all,” neither the arrogance of being a “teacher.”
The audience can observe and learn automatically by example.

That teaching is more than words. There are many who can talk very well, but their behavior, their manners; their vibes are not conducive to “listening.”

Teaching without giving corrections is the highest form of teaching. As an individual evolves in their capacity to assimilate spiritual teachings, words like: “Never, No, Do not, Musn’t,” are not needed. Those words close doors for experiencing life.
But again, those words may be needed when the baby is growing up until that baby is capable of understanding. Therefore, any form of teaching should be conducive to pursue further understanding in the “student.” Otherwise, it is plain manipulation.

If that language of “do not’s” is used in a “grown up,” there is no possibility of opening any sort of learning/teaching, but it becomes tyranny; for a “grown up” student needs to be able to discern by himself what is the right way to proceed in his own life without dependencies.
That is the trademark of a “true” teaching.