“You should be like your brother, a good student, obedient and respectful…”
Parents may not realize it, but comparisons will leave deep scars in the “bad” son. Correcting is one thing, but comparing with another is only showing blunt rejection of a particular individuality. The “bad” son must imitate the “good” one to fit the standard. The unwilling separation (good/bad) made by the parent with his progeny, will bring further issues.
We have learned to imitate to gain acceptance. There is always a “model” to copy and to follow.
We experience consequences when acting. If we are AWARE we will learn from our own actions as well as other people’s activities. However; that does not happen very often, that is why a “role model” is important in our society. We just need to follow, imitate. That “authority” is the IDEAL, the standard. That person could be an athlete, a politician, a religious person… All IDEALS. Their behaviors in turn, must fit expectations of that IDEAL for them to continue as “role models.”
Therefore, imitation is the avenue for “success.” Our personality, our BEING may not fit the IDEAL, but our behavior must fit in. That creates hypocrisy, dishonesty. Our DOING is not the same as our BEING.
In the spiritual world, we have the image of Jesus (or some other realized being) to follow, even though we have never met him. There are expectations of what Jesus should have been like. There is this ideal of a “saint” which is painted in the minds of mainstream society. Society is interested in the IDEAL not in the person behind Jesus.
We are conditioned to imitate an IDEAL.
Tantra is sold to the masses as the IDEAL of blissful sex. What the masses shouldn’t know at all costs, is that sex is a personal experience. What is blissful for you, may not be for someone else. The IDEAL of “bliss” is sold, comparison arrives and a “problem” is created. Thus, someone should sell the “solution” or better yet, the IDEAL of a solution.
Do you know why the IDEAL of a solution is better than a complete “solution” itself?
The IDEAL continuously sells… we are always close to the full solution, but not quite yet. A “solution” once applied and proven cannot longer sell.
Imitation is based on an IDEAL. The IDEAL is something that cannot be reached. That is the appeal of it. The masses strive to get the IDEAL of a “saint,” a “holy man,” but it cannot be reached for the IDEAL is not “real.”
Nevertheless, for many imitators, there is no better “reality” than the IDEAL.
Living through IDEALS, we are unable to let go of the mind.
Living though IDEALS we believe in a world which only exists in our minds.
For instance, the word “Love.” It is an IDEAL. The use of that word in a speech could make us look “good,” “caring,” etc. Love thy neighbor, Love the world, Peace and Love, Love and Light… All pretty IDEALS.
What is “real” cannot be put into words, cannot be defined. Once we understand this deeply, we will not try to find meaning in the words that someone says, but we will go right into the feelings, we will feel someone and what we feel will not be put into words…. But we will know.
Then, Love may have a different meaning. 🙂
Historically, the emphasis of religions, moralists, philosophies and psychologists; have been to correct human beings from all flaws, sins, degraded ways, etc. in order for him to fit in as a “normal” individual in society or a particular system.
Basically, Man is sick and needs to become well again. So, here are the steps to regain health…. Some will put god as the medicine, others “good actions,” others will emphasize sacrifice for mankind, others will call for “love,” as the savior and others… will believe in the power of researched therapy.
The analytical mind will search for those things which are believed to be incorrect, deviant, aberrant, etc. and will pursue the avoidance of those things at all costs. That is the practical medicine, the approach.
Fear is the key factor to make that “change” for there are penalties in this Life and the afterlife for indulging in such “sins.”
When moralists hear about Jesus, Gautama Buddha, Mahavira or the story of any self-realized individual, the aim to copy them appears.
Jesus was labeled as being “indigent;” therefore, that means that “spiritual people” cannot be rich. Buddha was labeled as “vegetarian” (although there is a discussion on this within followers) thus, to eat meat became a sin…The list went on thanks to the interpretation of the dualistic “black or white” mind of followers and moralists who lacked the experience of a self-realized individual.
Through a “black or white” approach it is easy to figure out what is “good” and what is “bad.” There is an “imaginary line” separating those two. This simple “imaginary” approach became the moral standard in society.
DOING became the way for man to “change” their “evil” ways.
DO what is “right” even though it is the opposite of who you ARE, for you must fit into the ideal. Repress yourself. Sacrifice yourself for some ideal or for some god. That is the way to reform yourself. Call it “Love” to make it pretty and acceptable.
Even though the above is appealing to the masses, it denotes lack of awareness.
If you are rich, and become poor just because Jesus was labeled as poor; what you are DOING is increasing your ego. The façade of making yourself poor from wealthy, has the emotional bitterness of having “lost” many things along with the pride and hope of getting way more stuff in heaven, while believing that this ACTION will gain you respect from those who cannot DO that feat. The mind comes up with self-serving wild stuff sometimes, I wonder if we are aware of that? 🙂
Jesus wasn’t “poor.” He always had what he needed. Is that “poor”? We just judge and label according to our conditioned standards. BEING deconditioned from the need to possess things, creates the “poor” image among conditioned individuals.
Buddha wasn’t vegetarian. He wasn’t for vegetables and avoiding/rejecting meat . He did not make the “effort” to become vegetarian.
If Buddha ever said: “I am vegetarian” that wouldn’t be a Buddha speaking; but followers will insist on following what they perceived to be “right”, even though is not natural for them. It is “effort,” it is “hard,” then to “practice” that becomes the source of ego, for there is something to set people apart, to show others who is spiritual, divine, worthy of heaven, rather than a simple, mundane human being. Another ego trip. It is about “proving yourself” of your worthiness.
To copy or follow someone does not bring AWARENESS, it brings forth a human being who is not able to acknowledge who he is and thus, to have the capacity to love himself.
The “keyword” nowadays is to Decondition. It is a fashionable word! Spirituality at this time, is about deconditioning. If our conditioning is all we know and we want to “become better” as an extension of our conditioning, that is a mirage, although it sells lots of “spiritual” books.
How do we start?
By living closer to Nature. (It is free of charge!) There may not be many self-realized beings who haven’t spent lots of time in Nature as part of their own deconditioning process from “normal” society.
Let me explain the “benefits” through “Office world” terminology: That will demote the position of the mind as the CEO of ourselves. The mind will be just another salaried employee in the “I” company. That step is a big “company merger.” By going through this process, the way we look at Life will be totally different. We will not be “normal” anymore nor “subnormal”, the mind will not be there to “scheme” political moves against itself.
We could be “abnormal” just along the line of other “abnormal” beings like Jesus, Buddha, etc. Perhaps we could be unknown, without followers, without “teachings” to share but nevertheless, full of Life. 🙂
Carl, a spiritual man; was relating a story to his friends. Carl was able to “forgive” an ex business partner from his wrongdoings.
Richard stole from Carl in a business transaction. Moreover, Richard reacted in a violent way towards Carl when he claimed his money back. Richard threatened Carl and drove away in his pick up truck.
Carl said to his friends: “ I forgave him for what he has done to me, because I know the Universe will take care of him for what he has done. There is no way he is going to get away from it. It is his karma. When I went to the police to report this incident, the officer asked me if I wanted for Richard to go to jail. I said No! I want for him to complete an anger management class. The officer said to me: “That is great of you.” He needs to take care of his anger before he does the same to someone else. Now, whenever I see a red pick up truck, I remember that incident and him, but I have forgiven him.”
Carl’s friends perceived his anger while he was relating his story.
Carl’s mind believes that he has “forgiven” Richard, although anger is hiding between his words.
Many times, we can use our “knowledge” of karma or some other mental teaching to hide our true feelings. That is the danger of knowledge. We could be ready to give the “other cheek” to someone as Jesus has taught; but that action which could be perceived as “great” by outsiders, it is truly “show business,” for the feelings underneath, what we truly ARE is not considered.
Yes, we could hear “great job. That is how Jesus would have done it” and our ego is caressed in such a way as to believe that we are closer to sainthood.
Because of lack of AWARENESS we cannot see our inner dishonesty.
Carl, what are you going to do with that energy of anger that you have in you?
“Anger? I am not angry. I have forgiven him!”
The ego knows “I have given the other cheek. I have been a good Samaritan. I have gotten the law’s approval confirming my greatness.”
The mind could create wonderful excuses. The mind could create “Godly words to live by,” however; what we FEEL will remain stuck with us. Knowledge cannot take that away, for knowledge is only mental.
Everything happening to us is an experience that is worth for us to go through. The labeling to judge our experience such as “good luck or bad luck” is of no consequence. We may need to act according to the law, but hopefully that action is not another cover up to build self-righteousness around us.
The mind could use any “knowledge” to protect the ego. When this happens, we cannot acknowledge our feelings.
Spiritual knowledge is a tool to help us become aware of ourselves. If we do not use it to see ourselves, we use it to judge others; in light of the information we “know.”
An individual thought to be “wise” because she was older.
Wisdom does not come through age, but through insight.
That insight refines itself once the accumulation of experiences is filtered from the emotional traumas, beliefs and conditionings of the “I.”
An older fellow has many experiences. The ego chooses what is “right,” and what is “wrong.” That becomes her wisdom.
That is not wisdom but conditioning.
Thus, “peeling the layers of the onion” is one way to display insight and therefore, wisdom.
Wisdom is not related with accumulation of information or data. That is why, reading and memorizing holy books will not change the fact of our ignorance.
Many seekers value their “degrees,” “holy labels” and “certifications” for joining a particular “method,” or religious system.
Sometimes, the number of years that someone has lived with a particular viewpoint or philosophy is valued as the yardstick for wisdom.
It is very naïve to believe that.
Once we stop trying to understand Life with the values dictated by our society, we could find the necessary openness to see things from a different perspective.
Gautama Buddha did not create Buddhism. His followers did. Gautama was “enlightened” when he was about 35 years old.
Jesus did not create Christianity. His follower did. Jesus was 33 years old when crucified. He experienced a different state of consciousness before that.
Mahavira did not create Jainism. His followers did. He attained a different state of consciousness when he was 43 years old.
After these individuals experienced a particular state of consciousness, they taught based on their experiences. Followers made those into philosophies and “truths.”
Many greedy followers thought that by following the “enlightened” footsteps, they could “attain” the same for themselves. That is an ego trip. There is nothing to “attain.” It happens.
Because it “happens,” it is away from ego, away from any type of pursuit. It is “natural.”
“Methods” are meant to expand our experience, but those by themselves cannot change our state of consciousness.
When we know this, we could relax, unwind, smell the roses and enjoy Life. There is no time to waste unless you are greedy. Then your greed becomes the issue.
Be aware, conscious and find ways to enjoy the experiences that Life presents to you. Allow for Life to change you, become open like an open door, or an open window, so people can see through you… but not because of you. 🙂
Roy was waiting for his laundry to be done when a person came by and approached him:
“ Sir, I have some important literature for you to read.”
When Roy read the front page of the little pamphlet, he encountered the following:
“Why did God gave the commandments? Can I go to heaven if a follow them? What if I break the commandments? How can I be forgiven of my sin? Look inside for the answers of these questions!!”
Roy looked at the contents inside observing a typical “life insurance policy” for the afterlife.
“You cannot go to heaven if you trust the wrong thing. If you have been trusting the commandments, you are not saved. Will you repent right now and only trust Jesus for your salvation?”
Once our consciousness changes, “high pressure, save yourself ads” will not have any effect.
If our consciousness on the other hand remains at a certain level of influence, that is in the “I” awareness; then the above will be enough to make someone act.
For example, Robert knows about the keywords of “spirituality.” Sin, God, Salvation, Hell, Heaven, etc.
The moment Robert identifies himself as a “sinner” due to some guilt complex for lack of understanding about consequences in life, then that is the moment where the other keywords will automatically pop up.
The little child who has disobeyed God’s orders and thus feel utterly in shame, needs salvation.
However, the above is not “bad” at all. That is the starting point for Robert to search and find more about himself. First, Robert will believe in someone who can “save him” for he does not know where to start. Robert feels hopeless and he cannot even quit his drinking habit, smoking or sexual addictions. At that point, Robert’s mentality will turn into the “black and white” understanding: “This is bad, that is good. Smoking is bad. Sex is bad, drinking is bad, etc.”
The idea of “purity” may arise out of all the denials, the “bad things” in his ever growing list.
In a different level of consciousness, we could see that any thought, philosophy or religion stuck in the level of the “I” is merely the starting point of the journey.
“I need to be saved. I must go to Paradise. I am a sinner. I need to become pure. I am an angel. I must do good actions. I will experience punishment if I disobey God’s law. etc.”
The sense of guilt, shame and worthlessness is part of the package as “motivators” to do something about changing the life of a “sinner.”
The point of this article is to share, what is already evident: Everyone has his own journey and a starting point. We may go from the “inside” to the “outside” to search for a savior, just to come back to the “inside” again and perhaps to recognize that there is no “inside”… but there is 🙂
If for some reason “I” find that “all of that stuff which I believed before is childish” and then go against that which I embraced before as a self proclaimed “savior to others;” it only shows that my consciousness is still dwelling into the “black and white” mentality. It is the same consciousness but in a different extreme. Duality.
To respect an individual and what he finds in his path for self-realization is very important in life. The “seeker” needs to become aware of his own findings.
It is his life. It is his experience. It is his journey. This life is another chapter in the book of life.
When “self” finds that there is “no-self” then another set of beliefs and religions will appear and that which was embraced before, may be despised as “childish.”
At that stage consciousness haven’t changed. It is the same duality between self and “no-self.” Many individuals could have a great intellectual understanding of “no-self” but their consciousness is still residing in the same duality.
Consciousness does not change by thinking. Our thinking is only a reflection of our consciousness.
When we have the courage to leave everything we have learned and put it aside, not as a rejection; but as a continuation of our own journey when the time comes, then there is an opportunity for our consciousness to change by itself and to realize new things. Life is change. Consciousness changes.
Any rejection of life will continue duality in our perception of reality.
The following videos are lengthy but worthwhile to watch. It is about the non-Biblical findings of the historical Jesus.
I find these relevant to understand religions. As a matter of fact, most religions will go through the same path.
There is the belief that every monotheistic religion represents God. To make this belief “factual,”is the task of every religion through its clergy. The teachings of those self-realized individuals (known as religious founders) have been misinterpreted, changed and even forgotten. Instead, a set of beliefs and rituals have become important. Hierarchies and organizations have flourished through the growth of a belief system. Greater number of followers, greater power.
Are religions “bad” then? No. Religions are tools for self-transformation. The tool is useful up to a point. Every individual decides that point.
Unfortunately the mind of the “followers,” are not always aligned with the spiritual teachings for lack of experiencing those teachings in themselves.
For example, in this teaching: “If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also.” It is a Christian teaching. That teaching could be easily misunderstood. Please take a look at this article: http://www.beliefnet.com/News/2000/01/The-Limits-Of-Turn-The-Other-Cheek.aspx?p=1
Here the author will plainly defend the “normal” person’s behavior as the obvious way to behave in this day and age. That is, the person who experiences duality at every second. The “normal” person is the person understood by the thinker, the philosopher, the moralist, the social activist, the politician, etc.
The teaching “If someone slaps you on one cheek…” is not part of the Western tradition. As a matter of fact, that teaching will not be understood until we experience oneness in life, that is to see the “other” as yourself. This requires a change of consciousness, not a change in beliefs.
That teaching is beyond the boundaries of traditional Western mentality. That teaching belongs into the Dharmic tradition. It is Buddhist.
When someone spat on Buddha’s face, he did not offer resistance. That non-resistance does not come out of fear or lack of self respect; but comes out of that consciousness of no separation, of oneness of going beyond the limits of individuality. If this teaching is “practiced” it will not work. It needs to be “natural” by getting into that state of consciousness, so that teaching could be understood.
Of course, someone like Nietzsche would disdain the Christian teaching of “giving the other cheek” as creating submission on the strong. He was a thinker, a philosopher not a spiritual person searching for truth by looking at himself. He was a “normal” person.
Thus, it is a wonder that Jesus was giving teachings which were beyond the normal western, roman mentality of the time of “one tooth for one tooth.”
A spiritual teaching is timeless, but understood according to time.
Article by: BK. T. D. Joseph, Bangalore, India tdjaum(AT)gmail.com – If you have questions or remarks about this article, please contact the author.
Can you be happy despite some conflicted relationships you may have been caught in? If you understand the nature of people and the nature of time we live in, you will form an answer yourself.
People generally act or react under the weight of many factors such as sanskar, environment, time, current values, experiences … etc. Hence they are like those six famous blind men who tried to describe the elephant. All six of them were correct in their own way—they were describing according to their experience. Hence some kind of conflict is inevitable.
Another factor is that, in general, people’s immediate concern is their own convenience, rather than truth. Without knowing this, we may try to assert truth and get into trouble with people. This can be illustrated with a story. A rich man had a daughter who was very ugly-looking, hence was finding it difficult to get her married. In desperation, he had her married to a blind man. And they were leading a happy married life. Years passed. One day, rich man had a visitor who was his childhood friend. When he saw the rich man’s son-in-law, he suggested that there is a capable doctor in his city who can cure this type of blindness. Rich man became sad within, and began to resist the idea. If you were his friend, you would assert your point with more and more force and will end up in troubled relationship with the rich man. For you do not know that the reason behind his refusal is his convenience—he is afraid of the possibility that once cured of his blindness, his son-in-law may abandon his wife. Who knows there is something like this hidden in those who oppose you?
Why are you bothered about a speck in other’s eyes when you have a plank in your own eyes? Jesus asked humorously. Behind the humor there is a fact which speaks of human nature in general: people are more inclined to see other’s mistake than theirs. This is the reason why when you make a mistake, you can find 101 excuses and not even one in the case of others. As others are aware of your mistakes, you lose your freeness of speech when you offer a suggestion/correction to them. They may resist, and you will assert; conflict ensues.
Relgious teachings too contribute. For example, the teachings such as God is omnipresent, or “I am THAT [God],” would make people think that sin originates from God; as a result, they would be less motivated to fight against it. So is the case with its contrasting teaching that Satan is responsible for our sins—this too does not make people responsible-minded. Hence people take things more and more casually, become more and more insensitive, engage in loose-conduct and act thoughtlessly towards others, all of which results in conflicted relationships.
All other species have a collective sanskar where as each human is carrying a unique sanskar, carried over from previous births. (Gita 3:33; Mathew 12:35) Hence every one would act or react differently; and there is no basis for expectation with regard to others’ behavioral pattern towards you. Like gasoline and fire that are bound to react destructively upon contact, differences in sanskar are bound to cause conflict in relationship. Jesus’s own family members who were in a better position than others to believe in him, did not do so. (John 7:5) Instead, they were trying to defame him saying: “He is out of his mind.” (Mark 3:21) Hindu epic Ramayana shows Rama, despite being an Avatar, was hated by Kaikeyi the last of King Dasaratha’s three wives and a queen of Ayodhya. She effectively conspired to get him go into exile moments before his coronation as King of Ayodhya so that her own son should become the king. “The righteous detest the dishonest; the wicked detest the upright,” declares the Bible (Proverbs 29:27) “The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them.” (Psalm 37:12) If one has a satvik sanskar (love of righteousness) and the other is tamasic (love of unrighteousness), conflict is unavoidable. If you are in such a conflicted relationship, how can you cope with that difficult situation?
First, look for their track-record, and find out whether they have the habit of learning from their mistakes and going forward. If not, do not try to reason with them! It is interesting to note that famous scriptures ask us to be detached observers (rather to solve), wishing them well in our heart and to “keep away” from them so that we may not learn to be like them and endanger ourselves. (Proverbs 22:24, 25) Words and actions are manifested thoughts. Hence no use reacting to the symptoms—their words and actions. At the root of their thought lies the lovelessness or a painful past, an aspect of themselves they don’t like, or they may have been seriously hurt by other people. They are simply addressing their pain in the wrong (unhealthy) way, having a conflict with you. Instead of resolving it, they are hiding it. If they get in your face, leave or just ignore them and continue doing what is good for you. (Gita 16:22) Their action is their Karma, and your response is your Karma. Hence it is not wise to respond to those who enjoy causing/having conflict with you, you become a party to their Karma.
Nature’s way is to let the people learn from experiences—primarily from others’ experiences [which are like an ocean around us], and those recorded in the scriptures and story/history books, and secondarily from own experiences. Confronting or correcting the contentious is not our job. “They will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead,” declares Jesus. (Luke 16:31). “If one wants to see the truth, he can see it without any external help; if he does not want to see the truth, he cannot see it even with external help,” said Vidura to Dhritarashtra in Mahabharata Epic. Just like a child being afraid of the dark, some adults are afraid of the light. They make themselves unhappy—it is actually their choice, and their loss. Hence it is pointless to get affected by what they do to you. “Perfection means not getting affected by anything.” (Murli 1.11.1971) “Even if someone defames you, you must not become angry. Never try to reason with him.”—Murli 21.02.2013
Bhagavat Gita, the Hindu Scripture, stresses even-mindedness and sakshibhav (detached observance) throughout its chapters, and calls it as “supreme devotion.” (Gita 18:54) [Gita advocates non-violence (16:2), not a literal warfare, and identifies “sin” as our real enemy (2:69; 3:37, 39, 41, 43; 18:66)]. In literal war-field, even-mindedness or detached observance makes no sense; hence Gita must have been originated from omniscient Supreme Father, The Father of all fathers and Preceptor of all sages (Gita 14:1, 4; 7:10; 9:13, 17) who has put in place the impeccable Law of Causation (popularly known as Karma Principle) through which the righteous and the unrighteous would receive appropriate and proportionate rewards either in this birth or in the next. “The Supreme Lord” tells us what each one is going to inherit: “The Satvik (the wise and the pure) go upward; the Rajasic (the greedy and the passionate) stay in the middle; and the Tamasic (those hurting others) go downward.”— Gita 14:18.
We will not understand what this means unless the Real Sermonizer of Gita, Shiva Baba, the Supreme Soul, Himself reveals it. (Gita 10:23) His revelation, through His Murlies, shows that just like in a day of 24 hours, man passes through three states (wakeful, dreamy and deep-sleep), history too passes through similar states—first a period of soul-consciousness, then a period of declining consciousness, and finally its opposite (body-consciousness). History repeats itself every 5000 years (Gita 9:7, 21), of which the first half, figuratively called Day, or Heaven on earth, (made of 1250 years of GOLDEN age + 1250 years of SILVER age), is the period where the Satvik live in soul-consciousness, manifesting divine qualities. And the other half is called Night or Hell on earth (made of 1250 years of COPPER age + 1250 years of IRON age) where the Rajasic and the Tamasic, having fallen into body-consciousness, live manifesting opposite of divine qualities in declining order, resembling dreamy and deep-sleep states respectively.
Thus quality-wise we have four Ages—Golden, Silver, Copper, and Iron. The more the quality one develops, he goes “upward.” The lesser the quality, one goes to the “middle.” The emptier the quality, one goes “downward.” In simpler terms, there are three categories of people—the pure (those making themselves and others happy), the impure (those making themselves and others unhappy, and the mixed (those who neither help nor hurt others, but are concerned only about their own well-being with no regard for others).—Gita 14:17.
When the history passes through one Kalpa (cycle of 5000 years), the pure are born in the upper part of the cycle, the impure are born in the lower part; and the mixed are born in the middle. The higher the stage happier the people, and the lower the stage more miserable they will be. The greater the love towards God, the greater the co-operation from Him. (Gita 7:17; Murli 18/1/1970) This is perfect justice. God is not saving you, but your virtues do. He is not lowering your status, but your vices do. Each one is given according to the measure of qualities he has developped. “With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more,” declares Jesus.—Mark 4:25.
Shiva Baba teaches that in the present period called Confluence Age [where the running Iron Age and incoming Golden Age confluence], with knowledge, meditation and simple Rajayoga, the soul has the power and understanding to perform the right actions, which is the foundation of the Golden Age that is to come very soon. He also presents the unique concept of “number-wise,” the principle of perfect justice—one receives in proportion to the degree of effort he has put in. His often-quoted statement is: LET THOSE WHO CAME LAST GO FAST. The story of Sudama who gave all he had—a handful of rice—has the significance that he surrendered “body, mind and wealth” [tan, man, dhan] to God in the Confluence Age and in return he received the inheritance of jivanmukti for 21 births; i.e., in the upper part of the Kalpa.
Shiva Baba asks us to be always joyful. This shows that omniscient Father knows that it is possible to be always joyful despite conflicted relationships which are very much part of present life, linking ourselves with Him, the ocean of peace. The glory of Shiva Baba is that though He is “minuter than the minutest” in size, He is the one who gives “brilliance to all bodies”—inanimate and animate and is “infinite in power.” (Gita 8:9; 11:19) Just as we, after removing rubber insulation, connect the copper wire to power source, remove the envelope of ego, and connect the soul to this infinite power source. This will compensate for any loss of joy caused by conflicted relationships we may have. “When you find the FATHER, you will have found everything, and you become the master of three worlds… You swing on the swing of supersensuous joy. You swing in God’s lap being lost in His love and remembrance” in contrast to the sorrow we experienced for last “63 births.”—Murli 20.11.1985
Therefore, the fact that we are having some conflicted relationships need not be a source of worry for us. Actually it is the other way around; we have to sympathize with them. It is like we have a delicious meal set before us whereas those who oppose us, like flies that go to trash, enjoy petty joys of selfishness. They never enjoy the real happiness that comes from making others happy. (Acts 20:35) Yet, we can copy the zeal they show in loving unrighteousness into our loving the righteousness. (Gita 3:25) Hence we need not ask why they behave with me like this—actually it should be their worry! Relatives and friends are actually one of the false sources of security—they come, remain for a while and disappear after some time. Hence in effect, their support or opposition makes no difference. Remember, today’s newspaper is tomorrow’s trash. Hence let it pass! At the same time, let us use their opposition or non-cooperation to our advantage. A ship’s sea-worthiness improves in adverse weather conditions. So is our worthiness when we are around difficult people.
I have seen BKs [Brahmakumaris and Kumars] who live their lives emitting divine qualities despite having opposing family members (especially life-partners) who are like live volcanoes, and difficult work environment. When I asked one of them how this is possible, his answer was really inspiring and golden: “Having a contrast always in front of me is a blessing as it reminds me, free of cost, what I should not be! Also it is their choice to make themselves unhappy, and it is their loss. And I am conscious of the time we live now—this is the fag end of the Iron Age where people, in general, will be Tamopradhan—devoid of any good qualities. Though the world may have many rulers, there are actually only three rulers in the world at this time—“Lust, Anger, and Greed”—which rule over both—the rulers and the ruled alike. (Gita 16:21) And I can see the Golden Age on horizon.”