“You should be like your brother, a good student, obedient and respectful…”
Parents may not realize it, but comparisons will leave deep scars in the “bad” son. Correcting is one thing, but comparing with another is only showing blunt rejection of a particular individuality. The “bad” son must imitate the “good” one to fit the standard. The unwilling separation (good/bad) made by the parent with his progeny, will bring further issues.
We have learned to imitate to gain acceptance. There is always a “model” to copy and to follow.
We experience consequences when acting. If we are AWARE we will learn from our own actions as well as other people’s activities. However; that does not happen very often, that is why a “role model” is important in our society. We just need to follow, imitate. That “authority” is the IDEAL, the standard. That person could be an athlete, a politician, a religious person… All IDEALS. Their behaviors in turn, must fit expectations of that IDEAL for them to continue as “role models.”
Therefore, imitation is the avenue for “success.” Our personality, our BEING may not fit the IDEAL, but our behavior must fit in. That creates hypocrisy, dishonesty. Our DOING is not the same as our BEING.
In the spiritual world, we have the image of Jesus (or some other realized being) to follow, even though we have never met him. There are expectations of what Jesus should have been like. There is this ideal of a “saint” which is painted in the minds of mainstream society. Society is interested in the IDEAL not in the person behind Jesus.
We are conditioned to imitate an IDEAL.
Tantra is sold to the masses as the IDEAL of blissful sex. What the masses shouldn’t know at all costs, is that sex is a personal experience. What is blissful for you, may not be for someone else. The IDEAL of “bliss” is sold, comparison arrives and a “problem” is created. Thus, someone should sell the “solution” or better yet, the IDEAL of a solution.
Do you know why the IDEAL of a solution is better than a complete “solution” itself?
The IDEAL continuously sells… we are always close to the full solution, but not quite yet. A “solution” once applied and proven cannot longer sell.
Imitation is based on an IDEAL. The IDEAL is something that cannot be reached. That is the appeal of it. The masses strive to get the IDEAL of a “saint,” a “holy man,” but it cannot be reached for the IDEAL is not “real.”
Nevertheless, for many imitators, there is no better “reality” than the IDEAL.
Living through IDEALS, we are unable to let go of the mind.
Living though IDEALS we believe in a world which only exists in our minds.
For instance, the word “Love.” It is an IDEAL. The use of that word in a speech could make us look “good,” “caring,” etc. Love thy neighbor, Love the world, Peace and Love, Love and Light… All pretty IDEALS.
What is “real” cannot be put into words, cannot be defined. Once we understand this deeply, we will not try to find meaning in the words that someone says, but we will go right into the feelings, we will feel someone and what we feel will not be put into words…. But we will know.
Then, Love may have a different meaning. 🙂
Love is a pretty word. As the song goes: “All we need is Love, love. Love is all you need.”
Then comes the ideal: “The ultimate love is to love humanity.”
Bravo! I believe in that too. Great phrase. Everyone agrees on that!
Now comes the mind: “How do I get there? How do I achieve love to humanity?” “How do I achieve that state of sainthood?”
Then come religious/philosophical/scientific “methods” with clever answers to those inquires… but those answers require certain “doing” from our part.
Therefore, here comes “practice.”
After many years of trying different methods, and practicing then comes disappointment.
The ideal cannot be obtained. It is a mental thing which is fueled by our own greed.
“That is the top state of sainthood to love everyone. I want it for myself.”
That is called greed. It is the wolf dressed up as red ridding hood. Greed in the mundane is hard to recognize in the “divine.”
Where do we start?
Start with the only “real” place you could. That is with you.
Are you aware of how your mind throws violent thoughts around? It could be towards you or another. That violence cannot allow you to be Love.
See, it is not as the song says: “All we need is Love.” We ARE love.
Are you aware on how your mind dwells in the past and fantasizes about the future?
That mind cannot allow you to be Love; for Love is in the “now.” The mind cannot be in the now.
The pretty, “spiritual” words we say could be a trap for self-deception.
To try to achieve the dictionary meaning of those “good” words or virtues is like trying to hold air with our naked hands.
The clearer, the emptier your mind is of thoughts, the easier becomes to know Love without defining it, without labeling it, without describing it.
Thus, “all we need is love…” is just a catchy phrase.
“All we need is an empty mind,” is closer to Love, but … far from being a popular song.
Here is another paradox.
Ideals such as : brotherhood, love, gentleness, etc. all of that are necessary for those whose consciousness is unaware of their continuous relationship with all that exists.
Those whose “I” is strong.
However, as the realization of the self becomes deeper; those ideals have no reason to be.
Because this “study” is not related with reading books, hearing “spiritual classes” or joining a religion. It is related with the dissolution of that strong “I.”
As this dissolution occurs, then a new consciousness will emerge.
Religions and philosophies have given different “methods” to accomplish that, however; there is no “method” needed when Life already offers a very specific “method” for every individual.
It is just a matter of being aware. Life is not different from us. The “method “ is there. Some may call that “method” something like: Disease, accidents, death, disappointments, etc. and yet others may label the “method” as the complete opposite: Health, wealth, fame, etc. Life does not offer the same “method” all of the time as religions do.
That is why, when a society is utterly unaware of the intimate relationship of every being with the Totality; then a certain “method” has emerged to give those individuals an ideal to strive for: Love, brotherhood, gentleness, etc.
In that case and for those individuals, “ideals” to live by are “good.”
However, observe that those artificial “methods” cannot make a change in consciousness. Those methods are merely behavioral changes.
When someone has changed his behavior to look “saintly,” the demon inside is still hidden. The demon will come out when the “performance of sainthood” is left aside.
That is the reason why “doing something many times” have been taught in devotion or worshipping. Repetition of a certain activity deemed “holy” gives the follower, the certainty that “he is improving;” while the inner demon is safely left aside in a dark room of our unconsciousness by the means of rejection.
“This is good, that is bad. This is sinful; that is Godly.”
It is obvious that when the “method” is completely forgotten, then the inner demon will come out. The “holy” method, whatever it is, will create dependency.
That is the religious “hook.”
Why is that?
Because a change of behavior does not mean a change of consciousness. Because rejection of something, makes that “something” even stronger.
To strive for an ideal does not mean that we ARE that ideal.
“Being” is not “Doing.”
When there is no “I” doing, then there is “being.”
When there is “I” doing, then that supports the consciousness of the “I.”
Things could get complicated when beliefs and expectations are thrown into this pot.
Fear, guilt and the ideal of forgiveness come like ants looking for sugar.
Are religions “bad”?
No. Those are necessary for a certain type of consciousness. To give an “ideal” to followers, something to “work for” is needed.
As our consciousness changes, we could appreciate more Life and how that difference between Life and “I” will be closing up.
Most everyone has an “I” inside. That is the “book” to study, the teacher , the Guru and the God to “know.”
Paraphrasing Yogananda’s Guru; Sri Yukteswar, “ Only an enlightened individual can know God. “ For the rest… it is just about beliefs and dogmas.
Do we know why?
Knowing is Being. Therefore, that “being” cannot be taught to another. It needs to be discovered through the experiences of Life.
Too much “I” does not allow us to be… but in contrast, that “I” insists that we “do” things for the aggrandizement of the holy “I.”
“I” need to help “others.” “I” need to be “better.” “I” need to go to “heaven.” “I” must be one with God. “I” must become enlightened.
All that religious/spiritual “I”-ness is located in the same consciousness as the “worldly” one: “I” must become rich. “I” must become powerful. “I” must be someone in Life.
People must remember “me.”
The slide of “I-ness” from too little to too much, will give us a certain state of consciousness.