Tagged: experience

Causality

To understand Life at least at the intellectual level, we need to step away from our ideas of “good” and “bad,” “right” or “wrong,” etc.
Our moral standards and ways of looking at Life are highly biased by our conditioning.

Life does not exist based on human morality and understanding. That conditioning is what makes the content of our mind. Our mind expects to “see” Life under that vision.

We have learned about the “law of karma.” We know that causality is determining outcomes. Although we may not be aware of all causes, we should be aware that what is happening now is exactly what we need to experience. There is no randomness here.

Our limited labeling of our experience as “good” or “bad” has no consequence other than setting ourselves up into a particular attitude towards Life.

In Life, there is a mesh of experiences void of moral labeling. “Your” car accident may be labeled as “bad” in our moral understanding, but then we see that this incident is the cause of “your” change into a “spiritual” person. The experience of Life frailty, its ephemeral quality was the cause of that change and not an action taken by the “I” to “become spiritual.”

Life does not end in “becoming spiritual,” as there may be other “bad” things happening, culminating in death.
Is death “bad”? Apparently in our society, it is.
Death is a taboo in our society.
Why do you pray to God if there is causality? Why do you ask God for forgiveness in light of causality? Why do you ask God for “help”? Obviously, because “you” want someone with influence to spare you from your lot. Just like in the “Office world.”
It is understood that what you are going through is exactly what you need to experience in Life and that will change at the “right” time, as everything in Life does. We are part of Life.

When the “I” is afraid, that “I” will cling to any idea of safety, salvation, redemption, etc. Our inability to deal with the situation, to accept it and acknowledge it, will prompt us to look for any sort of escape, any sort of palliative medicine to give us the idea that we are “better” now.

That is how religions appeared and so “Spiritual Best sellers.”

“It seems that you have a grudge against “spiritual bestseller books,” you are dancing around that theme for too long now, what is your point?”

My point is that “what sells” is not necessarily aligned with “what is.” The collective consciousness of the masses (supporting what sells) are looking to escape from their perception of whatever is considered to be “bad.” They want a method to change things around, even by embracing beliefs and askew ideas. The “majority rules” is a human belief supported by economical interest.
“Spirituality” as understanding of Life, is not constrained by the claims of the masses.
Let me put it out in concrete words: “You” will experience your lot, no matter what you DO, no matter what you call it (good/bad/right/wrong) duration and intensity are all figured out just for “you.” Change of consciousness does not happen by escaping with a “positive affirmation” or by escaping with “hope.”
Life is fully inviting “you” to be AWARE of what is going on, the changes that are happening little by little, in a subtle way. There is timing for everything.

Causality is underneath every action, every thought, every feeling. Causality unites the past, the present and the future.
The understanding of Life and thus, “true Spirituality” is in the understanding of causality. There is nothing to change, control or escape from.
What is left then?
To experience. For change itself comes through experiencing the experience brought to us by Life.

“But, what if the experience is “negative,” “bad”? “
That means that “you” will be a step closer to what is “good.” Life will take you there at the “right” time. Be AWARE of it. “You” are Life itself. “You” are taken care of.  In the meantime, enjoy your lot…enjoy what you are able to… for it will change.  🙂

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Awareness cannot be taught

Carmen is a new parent. She said to me: “No one is teaching me how to be a parent… this information should be pushed into the school system and beyond.”

Even though she has “good intentions” behind her statement; observe that she is already caught up with the system: The information on how to be a parent is pushed from another source, to be “right.”

Carmen was praising all the books that she read which “helped her” practically.
Carmen read a book about “a prosperous attitude towards money, so money could flow in life, by getting rid of different beliefs that she was inculcated when she was a kid,” However, my friend could not use that information into her parenting situation.
Why?

Carmen lacked Life experience. She has theory in her mind, a very good paragraph of “wisdom,” but she is unable to apply it in different aspects of her Life. 

Most human beings have  developed many traumas when children. Parents did the best they knew; but that wasn’t enough. Hang ups, taboos, beliefs and so on were transmitted from their parents. Therefore, that is what will be transmitted to their kids. It is unconscious. Why? Because we are not aware.

Many times a child will be rebellious towards his parents. He will not go along with their “ideas,” unfortunately; that child does not realize that to reject his parent’s ideas will only make that trauma stronger. There is no experience of that, no awareness.

Then the “traditional good idea” comes. “If I knew how to be a parent, I will help others to do the same.”
That is very shallow. This is not just information that we pass along like in the “office world” when we get ready to take a test to be a “certified” parent.

Your awareness is needed. If you are aware of the baggage inside you, you will start with you. Look at your issues. Then, your “true self” will be displayed for your kids; not the behavior which you learned in a book, which is not truly you. Just because you know information, it doesn’t mean that you ARE that.

I am not saying that we should wait until we solve our internal issues to become a parent either. This is not a “black or white” “solution.” Just be aware that as you ARE, you will be matched by Life with a partner and that is what is “right” for you. That experience will teach you something, and then your consciousness will move on until… you are able to see yourself as you ARE: Then the process of dissolution of ego starts.
“But how do I help others?”
By allowing them to go through their own process in Life. That is free of judgments.
Let me be clear: The thought of helping others or teaching others, is just self-gratification. Life puts the teacher when the student is ready; BUT neither the teacher nor the student know about those labels, so they are free from the cage that those labels imply. It is that freedom what makes the internal change.

Learning to play the game

Once upon a time, little Timmy was an angry baby. He wanted his way or no way; but he realized that he had to fight, win, struggle, in order to “achieve” what he had in mind. He labeled that “competitive mentality” as what is “right, moral, good, proper, perfect” for him.

Labels make a great difference in our morality.

Anyway, Little Timmy was able to express his anger up until he was 6 or so. Timmy lacked awareness of what that expression was causing in the environment and him. Then, it was time for the “office world” training. Timmy had to go to school. At that point, to express his anger was unacceptable. Every kid wanted things his own way!

Then, the “law” came into effect. “If you express your tantrums freely, you are going to get in trouble, but if you talk it out; then you may get a golden star in your chart…”
That is how, the conditioning started. The “Office world” works under the premise of rewards and punishment. Nice duality to be trained in.

Little Timmy was still angry, but now he had to be “clever” not to show it and to wait until he got home to express it, as he was able to do before school.

Observe that the “office world” is not interested in the way Little Timmy feels. It is not even interested in Little Timmy’s awareness of that energy of anger. The “Office world” is interested in actions or lack of them. The feeling behind does not matter. “Good actions”= Reward program= points for Heaven.  “Bad actions”= Punishment, jail time= hell= karma.  Those were the equations little Timmy needed to be aware of.

Timmy (no longer little) became “proficient” with the hogwash: “Hide your feelings. Give everyone what they would like to hear.” Use the “right” labels. Embellish them. What Little Timmy wasn’t aware of, is that he believed that hogwash to be the proper way to behave with others but he expected others to be “true” to themselves. That is how, he had a couple of “romantic” experiences where he felt disappointed.

Timmy wanted to find meaning to a Life covered by “proper behaviors and etiquette” for he did not find fulfillment.  His horizon had a couple of “choices:”  Go with the gold medalists, prove how great “you are,” sacrifice for paper money, build a name for yourself, become “immortal” among mortals by making sure that someone will remember your name (label) 200 years down the road… OR   become someone beyond your mortality.   That is how, religion XYZ appeared in his path.
Now, Timmy had a purpose, a “reason” to be alive. He felt instantly important, because the “boss of all bosses” (he learned that training from the office world) was with him: God.

With God, things were simple. This is “good,” that is “bad.” Do you see the line?
Anger is “bad.” Timmy wanted to align with God but he didn’t know how to get rid of that anger. That is the time when guilt appeared. Before his religious experience, there was no guilt. Now, guilt surrounds him.
Are religions “bad,” then?
No! Observe that Timmy had an answer for his “purpose in Life,” for his mental quest to “be someone.” Now, little by little through all the traumas that he will gather, he will learn to be “no one.”
Is the “office world” bad?
No! It is like playing a different game. The trauma appears when we believe that this game is “reality.” The office world, the religion, the school system… all games. Play.

Timmy will go through all the suffering necessary for Awareness to arrive. When that happens as all true stories;  Timmy will live happily ever after…
Did you like my little bed story?  🙂

The best choice is no choice

“If you have negativity towards someone, that will come back to you; therefore, have good feelings. It is your choice.”

Even though the above sounds very logical and reasonable; very “spiritual,” it is out of the realm of honesty of feelings.

If someone hasn’t realized the unity of all and thus, what we give; we receive; then that person only is aware of the “I” as the center of the Universe. Thus, “spirituality” for that individual has another message: ”Protect yourself. Get insurance against karma.”
It is that fear of “catching the bug” the one that will make us choose “wisely.”

What we truly are, that negativity gets buried with a bunch of thoughts: “Let me send you good feelings…my friend! I love you… I wish you the best. You are always on my mind and my thoughts…”

That thought of being “good” now, is enough to cover our reality of negativity.

When we are living in the mind, we may not realize what is a feeling and what is a thought.
Feeling is what we truly ARE. Thoughts without “action” are according to those feelings; however, we could change thoughts by being aware of the thoughts; but changing thoughts does not change our feelings, who we truly ARE.
Thoughts do not change who we ARE.

Basically, “choice” is in thoughts. That is why, “positive thinking” is so popular among the masses and individuals unaware of inner observation.

That is why, meditation with “positive thoughts,” is also popular: “I am a peaceful being, I am a loving being… repeat after me…”

That is not who I AM, but what I THINK I am.
Many individuals believe that Love is a thought. “I think I love you,” that shows how disengaged we ARE from our feelings.

When Life offers you 2 paths, which one will you choose?
For the one who lacks inner observation, the “I” needs to choose based upon what the mind has learned as “elements good for ME.” Thinking about those will dictate my “educated choice.”
When there is inner observation there is no choice. What you feel is the path. It is not “you” creating the feeling. It is already there.

To recognize our feelings without the filtering of our mind, is without a doubt; the most important aspect to feel one with Life.
There is nothing to choose when we are One. Although we may take path “1” rather than “2,” there is no choice, the “I” is not choosing… there is knowing.

When we are in the mind, we worry about the “outcome,” the “I” wants to be “right.”  It is not about BEING complete, but “right.”

Feelings bring fulfillment. The path is already there, we just need to recognize it with our hearts. 🙂

The “deep” questions

“…But, what is the meaning of Life… it has to have a beginning and we should have a purpose for being here… You have not responded anything but merely diverted your answers…”

 Ok… here I go again: Whatever you say, whatever I say, you can believe it or not. In Life… it does not matter what you believe in. Beliefs are of the mind. Living Life with joy is completely away from the mind. It is “no-mind,” not mindless, but “no-mind.”

“That is completely silly…”

So are your questions. Do you see that “purpose” is not something concerning Life, but it is only a concern of your mind?

“But…there has to be a moment of creation!”
It doesn’t. Everything has always existed, but in different forms. It changes just like Life. Life has always existed, but it changes all the time. It manifests through different forms.

The creator is called “God” but there is no need of a creator, for everything in Life recycles itself, “you” are part of it… or in a more appropriate language, “you” are Life itself.
There is no “big explosion” creating anything. What exists have always existed and recycles itself all the time. Existence has always existed. As it is above, it is below.
For you this could be “another belief,” as you believe a scientist with his latest “discoveries” or a religious credo, but if you observe Nature without using your mind to ask and resolve questions, but intently BEING there, you will know. Life will tell you the “secrets” and you will know without asking a question or regurgitating a belief. What you know cannot be put into words.

“That is nonsense. I will die. I cannot live 200 years.”

That “I” who you think you are is what you can perceive. That is the separation that is killing you with fear and anxiety. There is more that you cannot perceive due to the layers of conditioning affecting your mind and your emotions.

Take away those layers, and you will see something different.
In fact, that is the whole journey of a seeker.
Take away the layers of mental conditioning and fear, start living away from the mind and through the feelings of your heart… you will never ask again those meaningless “deep” questions.

The mind wants a logical answer, but it can only get beliefs.
Any answer could satiate your mind for a moment, but never your heart.

Because you are Life, the Universe itself, the answers are already within you; but paradoxically; “you” cannot see them unless that “you” goes away.
That is the journey.

There are not deep questions in Life, but only for the mind.
“You” are here. Enjoy the experience.
“You” will not be here in the future. That is the mind. Forget about it.
“You” are here until “you” are not. Live it completely. Become aware of it, for when “you” are not, then truly… “you” are… 🙂 A wave in the Ocean of Life goes away and then… a new one appears. “you” think you are the wave, in fact… you are the Ocean.

The duality of giving and receiving

Who is giving? Who is receiving?
That “I” is the separation between 2 things which cannot be separated. When there is BEING, there is no giving nor receiving… but giving and receiving are already there, like the 7 colors of the rainbow are there, already in the sky.
Does it make sense? No?? That is because there is no EXPERIENCE but only thinking.

At which point the “I” who is busy giving, could think: “I am giving too much”?
At the point where the “I” is not receiving.
When the “I” gives with the expectation to receive, then that giving is not truly giving, but exchanging: “I scratch your back, if you scratch mine.”

To “give is good…” We may have learned. Isn’t to receive “good” as well? 🙂
When our minds are full of duality, the act of giving will be praised. The act of receiving will be played down.

The religious teaching of “giving yourself,” is not accurate. Who wants another “self”?
It is more accurate to say “ Give no-self for everyone to receive.”

The thoughtful desire to give will bring ego to the surface, and so the thoughtful desire to receive.
Thus, when the “I” is not in between giving and receiving; then giving and receiving are the same thing. Synonyms, equals.
Does it make sense? Could we see things from an “out the box” perspective? 🙂

When giving becomes receiving, then receiving will be giving. 🙂
“How is that possible?”
When there is no “I” in between.

Many times I speak about the “I” but a month ago “I” was surprised when someone said to me, from an honest place: “What is the “I”?

The “I” my friend is not something to define. Do you have beliefs? That is “I.” Do you have an idea of “righteousness,” how things “should be”? That is “I.” Do you have values, traditions, taboos, hangups… That is the “I.” Do you enforce your “I-ness” upon others?
That is a bigger “I.”
Do you look at the mirror and do you see “You”? That is the “I.” Do you think that you are “someone” or “no one”? That is the “I.” Thinking creates the “I.”

But the “I” is not “bad.” It is just a bit overweight, heavy. By eating too many ideas, beliefs and moral standards on a regular basis, the “I” has grown in size. That is why, the “I” cannot understand BEING without “being” the separation between 2 things: Up and down, low and high, right and left, good and bad, right and wrong… giving and receiving. 🙂

Why “giving” became “better” than receiving?
Because the “I” needed to become altruist, elevated, better, someone.

But “No-I” is the opposite of “I”?
No! “No-I” is the idea to express what is not “I.” But “No-I” is not an idea.
Does it make sense?
No? 🙂
Perhaps some other time…

“I,” “my” genes and “my” family

The “I” may think to be isolated. That perception presents a very narrow “reality.” Every single one of us is carrying the genes of our ancestors. A great part of that “I” is supplied by the past, unrecognized in the present but re-established in the future… unless we are ready and willing to go beyond our own genes.

Your DNA will influence the way you interpret an experience. A belief may tell you otherwise, but your “unconscious” will prevail.
In a society where the color of the skin or birthplace is important, “You” are pre-programmed to fit into a role.

Some of the generational characteristics of your ancestors are already in “you.” Those characteristics will come up in your Life no matter what you “do” to reject them or repress them.

For instance, someone could suffer schizophrenia due to some gene from the ancestors. Someone could be living with a “time bomb” in their heart, as the ancestors had heart attacks at an early age.

Yes….you are still “you,” an individual… but how much of “you” is actually “you”?
For the great majority of individuals, there is no much “you” different than the generational genes.

Observe how collective beliefs will have great importance on the way “you” see the world.

This is another layer of beliefs and collective programing that a “seeker” may want to look into.

You see, many times it is not enough to see that “I” am an angry person, when there is a collective consciousness behind a family tree giving a person that trait.
Observe it in your own family and how those traits that many times we justify or reject are within us. Those traits may resurface easily in family reunions and gatherings.

At the end of the day, that which we call “unconscious” for lack of a better understanding, is what will come up in a person’s behavior, as soon as that person is allowed to behave naturally.

To realize the connection of your ancestors and “you” is not “bad.” It is a source of understanding and liberation for the whole family as well.

Paul kept getting angry with people, no matter what method he followed. His father was a very angry man as well. Paul believed that anger was “bad,” in despair he said: “If it wasn’t for my father who taught me about anger, I wouldn’t be this angry!” Paul didn’t realize that his father wasn’t the source of that anger, but it came from his father’s family and so on…

What could Paul “do” to get rid of that anger?
Nothing. It is not a matter of “doing” anything unless all we want is to repress it. The one who is willing to understand his own anger cannot start by rejecting it, labeling it as “bad” or being ashamed of it, because some moral standard has dictated that anger is undesirable.

It is a journey to understand something in us. All we may want to be aware of, is that it is there and that we are willing to understand it, to accept it and to nurture it as a part of “I.” Let the journey start…

“Nurture your anger? Give me a break!”

It is “You” AT THIS TIME, don’t you see that?
Any “formula” or magic pill could do the trick for a brief time, but… the “thing” will come back, then you could feel like a loser, guilty, ashamed, etc. and will look for another “magic pill” to repress what you are not willing to understand.

“That is not true! I used “Xyz” method to get rid of my anger and it worked! so there…”

🙂 That “method” was merely the finishing touch of a long process which started once you realized about that anger. It wasn’t the “solution,” for there was a life process behind it. That “method” wouldn’t work unless you were ready for it, but many times we are so caught up in finding a “savior” that we do not see the big picture.

Let us say that Paul has a drinking problem. His journey will start when he is out of control. Then, he will realize that it is hurting him and maybe others. At that point, Paul may want to stop it. Paul may repress it, he may come up with “will power” tricks to avoid drinking… until he gives up and his personal “Satan” gets unleashed after a prolonged repression… Do we see the journey?

Paul will need to see that “drinking” is not the issue but there are other things underneath. First, he will need to look into his family, and how certain past behaviors were able to affect him. He may want to see if there is an issue with drinking in his family, he may want to find out how drinking started in his Life… Is drinking something that he enjoyed for the sake of it or a trigger from something else?

This is the journey to untie our own knots. In that journey we may need our own support, our own acceptance, that in itself is the key to look at things without guilt, without shame, without feeling “less than…”

It is a journey. It could last a few days, months, years, a Life time. One thing is guaranteed. There will be lots of learning in that journey which can only be stopped if there is resentment, shame, guilt, rejection, “black or white” beliefs which will hinder our looking inwards, our acceptance, our nurturing attitude towards finding an unexpected “I.”
Unfortunately that process of self-discovery is usually stopped by the “quick-fix” mentality, unable to perceive suffering as part of the process to heal, to be whole again….

Are you in a hurry to “fix” yourself?
Please know that you cannot do that. The “I” cannot fix himself.
“Why?”
Because “you” are not separated from Life. There are many episodes, many chapters which will need to be unfolded for that change to be natural. If it is artificial change, it is not change at all but plain inner dishonesty.

All you can “do” is to put a bandage, change your behavior and make everyone and yourself believe that “you” have changed.
Going through the process that Life will unfold is the cause and the solution of the “problem.”
Be willing to walk the path… and while doing that, treat yourself well; with love for everything will change sooner or later… as Life changes are guaranteed.