We want strawberries out of Life. We dream about them. We believe that “achieving” strawberries in Life will make us happy and fulfilled.
Life offer us lemons instead. Why don’t we make lemonade?
We are stuck with our belief in strawberries. Unable to bend our position to observe things from a different perspective.
Look! Someone has strawberries and he is happy! I want that for me. If life doesn’t offer that, bitterness is the “side effect” of that trauma. We feel unhappy, unfulfilled. What can I do with lemons, for god’s sake!
A “best seller” on how to achieve strawberries will be made.
“Achieving” strawberries or lemons will not make us fulfilled in Life. It is the experience of enjoyment of Life experiences what will bring fulfillment.
Lemons by themselves may be too bitter for some, not for all. Taste them to know. Open up, so the possibility of mixing lemons with something else arrives. Lemonade is such a refreshing drink!
The dream of strawberries is only a dream. If that dream becomes a reality, it doesn’t mean that fulfillment has arrived. We are looking for fulfillment not strawberries.
Shall we wake up from the dream of living Life through dreams?
“Salutations! I am 18 years old and I have experienced a five month period where I feel to have transformed sexual lust into love for all beings. Occasionally sexual lust would arise but I would observe it and it would rise into my heart and result in a strong feeling of love and compassion. However, this was in India. When I got back home, surrounded by emotional triggers, it has resulted in sexual lust being more present. It’s so present, in fact, that my dream last night was sexual in nature. I’ve masturbated once in 5 months and I haven’t had any sexual dreams until being home. Now it seems to come up every four or five days and it can be difficult for me to sit back and observe. I am questioning whether to engage in healthy sexual activities or to continue attempting to observe and continue my meditative practice. I feel my mind is just seeking sensual pleasure and that I have the presence to transform it if I simply sit with it and keep practicing meditation – but I’m a little worried I’m beginning to repress the feelings which would result in deep rooted tension and desire. What do you think? Thank you so much.”
Thank you for your question!
It appears to me that you are standing between 2 boats in the ocean. One of them, is pulling you to the right; the other to the left. If you don’t do anything, it will come to a point where your legs will spread apart very far and you will feel pain and then, the ocean will be your only possibility to go and hopefully, you will know how to swim! 🙂
Emotions are a tricky part of the human psyche. When you are in a dream those emotions will act so, the dream will be like “real” life. As you know, the only way to know that it wasn’t real is when you wake up. Therefore, your unconscious will play out what the conscious is rejecting. Please remember this.
Because you are young, your sexual drive is at its peak now. Please be aware of that. The experience that you had in India is something to cherish, for it is showing you what you are capable of achieving, if you have that aim; however, there is no “free lunch” in this and you will have to conquer sex lust and that is work to do, which will take some time. It is not that easy but it can be done.
First, ask yourself what is the reason why you want to be celibate. You did not mention that you had a particular spiritual practice. Once this question is resolved, then you will know and then you will need to put your resources (will power and practices) to reach this aim. Many are celibate for “health reasons,” or because there is no other choice. If your celibacy is for spiritual reasons, you will have the help from life to reach what your capacity is.
When you mention about a “healthy sexual activity,” it gives me the impression that you cannot be “engaged in a healthy celibate activity.” 🙂 It appears to me that you already have a disposition in your mind. Be aware of it.
There are many things to change in your life style to be able to tune yourself in for a celibate life style. Just a desire to stop sexual practices will not do it, and the unconscious will play games with you until your “decision” is broken. then, you will think that it is “normal” or “healthy” to do what “everyone else” is doing.
Thus, make a conscious decision on your path and find the ways to reach that goal after that. As long as you goal is spiritual, at this time; you will see how the “impossible becomes possible.”
Dreams are dreams and life is a dream!
“La vida es sueño.” – Life is a dream. Is a play by Pedro Calderon de La Barca from Spain. In this play he acknowledged the “mystery of life.”
Those words have become a cliche in Spanish and certainly something that I learned as a kid.
“La vida es sueño y los sueños…..sueños son.” – Life is a dream and dreams… are just dreams.
“I dream that I am here
of these imprisonments charged,
and I dreamed that in another state
happier I saw myself.
What is life? A frenzy.
What is life? An illusion,
A shadow, a fiction,
And the greatest profit is small;
For all of life is a dream,
And dreams, are nothing but dreams.”
Life is a dream and dreams are nothing but dreams… 😉
You said: ” When we have dreams, we are observers, yet we are not aware of it.”
That is true. Just like living “life.” We are supposed to be “detached observers,” but we are caught up in it all. We are dreaming life! Therefore, a dream is exactly life.
“To wake up” to be “enlightened” may be the task. Awakening is related with our awareness. I hope that you are not looking for the Ph.D answer of the “subconscious fighting with the conscious for a taste of Freud’s cigar.” 🙂
Accept your dreams as such. Enjoy the ride just as life. Enjoy the mystery. Do not try to control anything, learn to watch, to observe in life and then this will happen in your dreams as well. Then you are “controlling without controlling,” which is the best type of control.
The mystery, the magic of life; many times is unfolded through dreams. That has been the way the divine had access in to my “thick head” of thoughts, analysis and logical concepts.
Many changes in your personality will happen while you are sleeping. A good sleep is as necessary as a good dream… or a good life !
Let changes happen in you naturally. Please do not force yourself to go with 2 hours of sleep when you are not ready for it. If you practice the “maryadas” accurately and you practice feeling the self (soul) without interfering thoughts and you experience peace beyond thoughts… you will not fall sleep. Only when thinking takes over as well as tiredness from not having a good night sleep, is when you will fight to be awake.
In my own personal practice I always take a shower before Amrit vela. That helps a lot.