Tagged: conditioning

Learning to fly in Life

Observe a flying bird. There is a time for flapping the wings and a time to glide.
There is a variation known as bounding flight.

For a bird those movements are natural, flapping and gliding are together. A circumstance will drive the timing for change, but in general; gliding takes way longer than flapping.

Humans believe that fighting to get what “I want” is a necessary never ending flight. That sort of flapping is tiresome, it is debilitating. Humans do not know how to glide for they fear to give up control.
How could I go faster if I am gliding?
How could I achieve if I take it easy?
When the wind blows against his flying direction, a human will strongly “fight” and swear to “never give up.” That sort of heroic immolation, is only a childish silly situation.

Flapping and gliding in Life go hand in hand. Going with the wind of Life rather than against it, is the art of unity, vitality and preservation.

The mind will ask: How do I know when it is the right moment to glide?
The answer is obvious. Ask the bird.
No answer? Then watch. Observe. Empty your beliefs and conditionings. Shut down the questions.
What is worthwhile in Life to learn, cannot be learned through the mind.

The mind knows about “success.” It knows about “failure.”
Life is without that duality for to glide, is not the opposite of flapping. Those are one. Timing for flapping or gliding is not something to learn, but to feel.

Feeling is something that most humans have not been trained to “do.” Thus, they need to ask questions, to make sure, to “get it right,” “to get ahead,” to be “successful,” “to be saved.”

The ideals become more important than feeling. But without feeling, there is no living.

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The quest of identity

Who am I?
There are many answers, depending on our level of consciousness. Thus, all good.

If we try to define and identify ourselves, what we obtain is entertainment and empty reassurance for the mind.

“I” am a human being, a lawyer, a parent, a spirit, a soul, or simply, “I” am John Doe. Many labels that “I” can be! But… I am not the label nor the idea behind it.

Consider this “secret.”
Any question is already defining the scope of the answer.

Why does the Sun set? The Sun does not set in the horizon. It only appears to us that way. Many things that we consider “realities” in Life, only appear to be that way. Even though we know through science that is the Earth moving, our experience does not agree with that. Can I deny my experience to embrace a belief even though labeled as “knowledge”?
Enjoy the sunset! That is fulfilling. That is what truly matters.

Let us go back. Who am “I”? It appears that there is something static to call “I” to hang onto; but there is nothing static in a changing Life. We heard “Life is change” but we cannot easily accept that Life is uncertain, mysterious. 

“I” was 5 years old. That “I” is nothing like the one living “now.” 
Am “I” the same? Not a chance, but my mind believes it through dead memories.

The word “I” must be used to make sense in language; but we believe that there is something static which we call “I.” However, that does not agree with what IS.
Then…what IS? Change, uncertainty, everlasting movement.
Can we confine everlasting change into an “I”?
Only in our conditioned “reality.” It is a core belief which has lived for centuries in our human psyche; coloring religions, philosophies, educational systems, etc.
We cannot understand Life until that primal conditioning is uprooted, for we see Life only through that lens.

When we are at peace with change, uncertainty and unpredictability, we ARE living Life. We ARE “spiritual.”

Looking outside the shoe box

The collective consciousness labels and segments experiences: Good, bad, right, wrong. It is all relative to a perspective, a conditioning, a moral standard.
But, the individual experience can only show a limited range. What is a “bad” experience? The passage to a “good” one.
Isn’t “right” born out of what is “wrong”?

Cause and effect are together. All experiences in a person’s life are necessary together. Life is a “togetherness,” although our mind insists in viewing parts and labeling them.
A wall clock is a togetherness. We label 11 AM as “good or bad.” But time never stays fixed; but our labels do.

Sexuality practically, is a range of an experience. Every individual has a particular experience within that range.
The fixation is in achieving some ideal of what “should be.”

“Reality” is that as humans, we ARE not the same…. But we ARE. Language doesn’t allow for that illogical contradiction, but Life is oblivious of our logical constructs. Truly, Life is far from our intellectual understanding, the shoe box.

When we dare to look outside of the shoe box, we will observe that nothing is confined into a container. We make that trick.
The trick works because everyone is conditioned to believe in it.

Watch TV for too long and you will start believing that that world is “real.” It is a dreamy world where the reality of our feelings is confined for the sake of being “right” according to some moral gospel, another shoe box.

Shoes are not meant to be inside shoe boxes.  We believe they should be.

“Seeing is believing” but no living.

Our society is fixated with the sense of sight. We have an ideal of what is “right.” We just need to change whatever we see, to look like the ideal, the model. This arrangement may work in the “office world” but certainly, not in Life.

To BE one with Life, that is for self-realization, those concepts of “fixing things” including the self, to make them like a role model, are out of place.
Self- realization is more in tune with inner feeling. The “role model” is out. 

Let me give an example: In our society, we cherish competitive sports. For instance, in swimming, we are primarily concerned with moving faster not in feeling swimming for the sake of it. To go faster is the unspoken “goal.” We believe that there are certain techniques that will get us there. All we need to do is to watch and learn those techniques from the “champs.” The interesting aspect is that every coach has his take on a particular technique or drill. We just follow what the authoritative person says. That is the safe step as we don’t want to be “wrong.”

This is the way “spirituality” works, as well as religions. We need to go “faster” to heaven before we die. We need to ask the priest and the guru for advise, because they should be “right.” We just want to follow the “method” or “technique.”

In “self-realization,” there are no techniques to follow, for going faster is no longer a goal. Thus, we will not be concerned in watching videos and learning techniques to go faster so we can “win.” The thing is to feel, to be present, to BE swimming, Life itself. None of that “feeling stuff” will give us “benefits” so in society, we dismiss it.

We need to re-learn to feel. When you are in the water, feel your movements. Experiment with what brings you greater enjoyment. If there is pain, then you have found a limit.

Life is like swimming. However, rather than a swimming pool, we have a river moving continuously. Our mind is stuck with “goals.” We want to get to the other side faster. We want to time ourselves and beat the competition so we can earn a medal and everyone should know about this “feat;” applaud us, and remember us when we are gone, we want to be labeled as  a “legend.” That is the belief of “success.”
It is that mentality, that conditioning of believing that Life is only a bigger version of the “office world;” which is hindering our possibility to relax, unwind and float, as the river has already a direction. We cannot see that destination, so we come up with mental ideas, illusions and day dreaming to “achieve.”  The destination is not to be seen. It is to be felt and trusted.

Our minds want to make sure that we attain something along the way as a “proof,” that we are going in the “right” path… We don’t want to be “wrong.”
It doesn’t work like that. Life brings experiences, humans bring labels (right/wrong, good/bad.)

We wish we could live in Spring all the time, but we cannot be without Winter time.
If you live Spring, Winter is a reality waiting to happen. This is Life.
We see Spring, we believe in it. Once it starts changing, we become stressed out, angry even bitter. Nevertheless, despite our inner tantrums; Winter will arrive. Then, we will make a trauma out of that experience. The consequence of that trauma is a blockage in our perception, in our openness to trust Life.

Fear arrives. Every form of protective shield that we have created around ourselves, is a hue of fear.
We cannot see that. We cannot believe that.

We could feel it, but we are too afraid.
Once we gain the courage to swim past a “trauma,” we could be lost in “achievements” and “goals” again, to bury deep inside our fear to enjoy.

Fear to enjoy?
Yes. Don’t you feel it? 😉

Pretty “spiritual” phrases: Be yourself

“I just need to be myself,” is a  fashionable “spiritual catchphrase.”
Before that, the “teaching” was to BE like someone else. That could have been a saint, a hero, a politician, a priest anyone else deemed to be “good.”

Then conflict arose: “How should I BE myself if I am a [sinner, impure] not worthy? I have to attain what this other person IS, to be worthy!”
Nevertheless, the conditioning of what is “worthy” and the forgetfulness that any so called, “virtue” cannot be attained through a method is apparent; for that virtue is a state of BEING, not a state of DOING. Repetition  of what is perceived to be a “good action” does not make you virtuous, but dull. From society’s viewpoint is “better” to DO something considered “good” even though it is not what is felt, a natural outcome of BEING. For someone in the path of self-realization, to OBSERVE what you ARE at one moment is of paramount importance. BE AWARE of that.

METHODS cannot bring a person to a different state of consciousness.
This confusion, is observed for example, in “spiritual sexuality.”
The collective consciousness of the common man is of an angry monkey, ready to be violent and defensive. The belief is that by “teaching” methods and practices, that monkey could be a great lover!
That is an illusion and so is to repress our sexuality.  DEEPLY OBSERVE what IS first, then  true change is automatic, and not artificial by following commandments, etc.
A person wanting to imitate Gautama Buddha or Jesus, is bound to fail miserably. He can only be a double face, dishonest actor.
Paradoxically, that imitation will only increase his chances to go to “Hell rather than Heaven,” although that is not the objective of the “spiritual”  imitation.

Why is that? Inner dishonesty could pass as honest activity (DOING) under the view of society’s rules, but that farce cannot cheat the rules of Life.

“BE yourself” when viewed in depth, is meaningless.
Who is that “YOU” that you want to BE? It is a made up mental ideal. Our conditioned mind has a form made of parameters delimiting that which we call “I.”

“BE” is the “spiritual phrase.” BEING is not limited by the ideas of “myself” or “yourself.” To BE is unexpected, of the moment. It is not directed by the mind. Most individuals in the civilized world, are unable to BE, because their conditioned minds will not allow for that to happen.
Therefore, to BE means to become AWARE of all those conditioning agents running constantly through our minds. It means to OBSERVE how the mind takes over and directs our personality. Without this previous “work” there cannot be “Just BE.”

Another way to explain the above, is by using the label “emptiness.” It is the process of dissolution of the mind and its conditionings as to leave stillness of the mind. This stillness is out of emptiness and not out of artificial control [“I control my mind.”] Picture a room full of stuff, ready to overflow if the door is left open. Control is necessary in that picture to keep things inside the room. However, if the room is empty, there is ample space to decorate that room with newness of Life.

BE YOURSELF is truly a way to chain our experience to a particular form/belief/idiosyncrasy/upbringing, etc. FREEDOM is not there.

We can experiment with BEING SOMEONE else. There are many methods and religions for that. We can experience with BEING YOURSELF, there are many self-help books written about this topic; but we cannot experiment with BEING.

To BE is freedom. It is freedom from the known. The idea of the collective consciousness about freedom, is infantile.

To grow up means to look, to observe, to be aware without judgment, without mind, so the realization of that experience is able to change our lives. 🙂

The Tantric misunderstanding

Tantra is not for the masses. A “tantrica” is not born by taking on-line “master classes.” Tantra is not about “better sex” either. Nor a “system” or “philosophy” to expand consciousness. There is this belief on being “liberated” from conditioning, by speaking freely about sexuality in a society that views sex as a taboo.

Tantra “Goddesses” will appear selling different “services.” They become “Tantra teachers” after attending a few classes and paying their fees to be “certified.” There is no much there to show their level of consciousness, but it is thought, that their sexual prowess is the proof of their “mastery.”

We don’t hear too much about “gods” of “tantra.”
It is a steep job description: A man that can have sex as many times as he wishes and ejaculate only when he wants, without using “technology,” “pills”or any “techniques.” That is a “natural.”
Due to that level of “mastery,” we do not hear too much from them. If they sell “techniques,” rest assured they aren’t “naturals.”
The above is pretty much the collective belief about Tantra.

However, for the ones who are ready in consciousness; Tantra is a whole different thing. When a true Tantric couple is united by destiny, Sex has a different meaning: It is the way to discover Love by going beyond the limits of self.

According to my reliable “sources” there was in history an example of such a tantric couple. They are well known, although; the term “Tantra,” probably wasn’t known by them.
Would you like to know who they were? They were well known for their divinity:
Jesus of Nazareth and Mary Magdalene.
Astonished?
It makes perfect sense. Consciousness brings the “Tantra” experience.

I am sharing this knowing that some may be revolted by this “heresy” that goes against established beliefs.
But for those who are open to “do their homework,” this may be “good news.”

Tantra IS in that sort of “divine” consciousness.
When we ARE NOT there, then “techniques,” “methods,” “practices,” “rituals,” etc . are taught. The focus is only sex. Although, pleasure maybe enhanced, there is no “open door” in their consciousness to go beyond self. 

A man cannot fully surrender to the sexual experience  or Life itself, if he was made a “master” through the use of “techniques.”

Just like “Yoga” is not what is practiced in the gym near you; Tantra is not a new fashionable method to have sex and “improve” consciousness… However, there are individuals claiming benefits from those “practices,” thus, everything is good.

Everyone aligns to a particular thing according to their consciousness. Thus, many times what we think “IS,” it may not be. It is in that experience of recognizing change, and not denying it or defending old beliefs; how change happens, how consciousness “expands.” 🙂

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Betterment without practice

Mary told John: “You need to become compassionate.”
John looked up the word compassionate in the dictionary.
It said: “Feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others.” John wasn’t quite sure what compassionate meant through that definition for he always thought that he felt concerned for others, so he looked for another definition: “A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.”

John understood the meaning of compassion better through the second definition. Then, he decided that from now on, he will “practice” that compassion.

Mary had a severe cold. John could see that Mary was suffering. John “practiced” feeling sympathy for Mary. He also followed up with a “desire to alleviate” her cold. “Can I hand you some tissue?” He asked.
Mary saw “improvement” in John. She said “Thank you for asking.”
That created the necessary rapport for John to practice that “compassion.”
He thought he was being compassionate now… He was “improving.”  🙂

Reality is that John wasn’t compassionate even after “practicing” for many months. For instance, he wasn’t able to feel empathy for suffering animals. That wasn’t part of his “practice” of “compassion.”
John was merely conditioned to practice his improved “good manners” in front of people.
This little example, shows how our “spirituality of practice” have been shaping individuals into fake ones.

There are things which need “practice” to become more proficient at, but values are not part of that.

So what do we DO to become “better”?
Nothing at all. The thing is not to BECOME something which we don’t even know what IS, what is the extent of it.
“Love your neighbor as yourself” sounds good to “practice,” but apparently that doesn’t work in a war… or even as close as  the “office world.”
The thing is to OBSERVE to BE AWARE of what IS… what we ARE.

WHAT IS, is not necessarily the way we ACT: I can pet the neighbor’s dog and look “loving and concerned,” while inside me a thought could be saying: “Nasty mutt.”

If we are AWARE of that inner conflict, that is where “betterment” starts…. But we have been trained to suppress that thought with a “loving” one: “ You are such a precious dog.”
That is the greatest lie.

We have been trained to add words as “objective to achieve,” as in: “I need to be more caring with animals and people.” This mitigates our sense of guilt, whenever we see that our attempt to BECOME some moral value, does not work. 
All we need is a little AWARENESS of the NOW.
Forget the nice words: Love, compassion, gentleness, peace, etc. and the opposite words as well. Those words don’t help at all. Those are only words.
Awareness of what we feel. Awareness of our own relaxed presence or lack of. Awareness of the stream of thoughts and words. That is all.

One day, we may even question ourselves after our observation: Is that ME?
That is a sign that betterment is on the way, without “practice.”