Mary told John: “You need to become compassionate.”
John looked up the word compassionate in the dictionary.
It said: “Feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others.” John wasn’t quite sure what compassionate meant through that definition for he always thought that he felt concerned for others, so he looked for another definition: “A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.”
John understood the meaning of compassion better through the second definition. Then, he decided that from now on, he will “practice” that compassion.
Mary had a severe cold. John could see that Mary was suffering. John “practiced” feeling sympathy for Mary. He also followed up with a “desire to alleviate” her cold. “Can I hand you some tissue?” He asked.
Mary saw “improvement” in John. She said “Thank you for asking.”
That created the necessary rapport for John to practice that “compassion.”
He thought he was being compassionate now… He was “improving.” 🙂
Reality is that John wasn’t compassionate even after “practicing” for many months. For instance, he wasn’t able to feel empathy for suffering animals. That wasn’t part of his “practice” of “compassion.”
John was merely conditioned to practice his improved “good manners” in front of people.
This little example, shows how our “spirituality of practice” have been shaping individuals into fake ones.
There are things which need “practice” to become more proficient at, but values are not part of that.
So what do we DO to become “better”?
Nothing at all. The thing is not to BECOME something which we don’t even know what IS, what is the extent of it.
“Love your neighbor as yourself” sounds good to “practice,” but apparently that doesn’t work in a war… or even as close as the “office world.”
The thing is to OBSERVE to BE AWARE of what IS… what we ARE.
WHAT IS, is not necessarily the way we ACT: I can pet the neighbor’s dog and look “loving and concerned,” while inside me a thought could be saying: “Nasty mutt.”
If we are AWARE of that inner conflict, that is where “betterment” starts…. But we have been trained to suppress that thought with a “loving” one: “ You are such a precious dog.”
That is the greatest lie.
We have been trained to add words as “objective to achieve,” as in: “I need to be more caring with animals and people.” This mitigates our sense of guilt, whenever we see that our attempt to BECOME some moral value, does not work.
All we need is a little AWARENESS of the NOW.
Forget the nice words: Love, compassion, gentleness, peace, etc. and the opposite words as well. Those words don’t help at all. Those are only words.
Awareness of what we feel. Awareness of our own relaxed presence or lack of. Awareness of the stream of thoughts and words. That is all.
One day, we may even question ourselves after our observation: Is that ME?
That is a sign that betterment is on the way, without “practice.”
Our mindset pursues what it believes to be the “truth,” what is “real” according to conditioning.
Some type of human consciousness are self-righteous and have narrow perceptions, which they call “truth,” reality: “what is real is what exists, what exists is what I can perceive with my 5 senses.” Easy enough to make that “truth” into a commandment.
Our society and collective consciousness are in agreement with that, for the majority of people have 5 senses working somewhat in a similar way.
All is “good” until scientists “discover” that what we perceive is not necessarily what is “real.”
At that point, we may ask ourselves, what is “reality”? 🙂
That question in fact, synthesizes the main problem with our vision and understanding of Life.
The issue is not to concentrate our efforts in discovering what is “real” out there. The main issue is to understand ourselves and the way we perceive Life. Our perception of it.
In short, Life can be perceived in many different ways according to our consciousness.
For example, imagine that all people in the world were born blind. They never perceived light through their eyes. Certainly, we could have built a “normal” society made for blind people. Other senses rather than vision could have taken precedence.
To speak about colors, rainbows, clouds, etc. in that world of blindness, will not make any sense. If someone speaks about being able to see light, that one could be crucified or labeled as “crazy.” That gift of vision may be a curse in disguise, for “normal” people will not be able to understand.
Thus, greater ability to perceive means an expanded vision of reality.
Our “standard” is the way of perception of the collective consciousness in society, but that perception is far from what could be labeled as “real.”
When we place our energy in understanding our own perceptions, rather than in using the convenient labels of “right, wrong, true, false, bad and good,” then any sort of judgment is out. Certainly we may need to act as our society dictates.
If someone harms another, there are laws. There are consequences, but judgment is a human invention that we have added into the personality of our beloved Gods.
Compassion arrives when we understand that there are many ways to perceive/experience Life. A particular way followed by someone may be condemned by the laws of our society and labeled as “bad,” but we know it is only a perception. That openness will free us with further understanding which will reflect in a peaceful disposition.
Moral talk says: “We must be peaceful, loving, etc.” but as our barriers of perceptions open up allowing us to have a greater vision of the valley of Life; that moral wishy, washy talk; will not be needed.
BEING peaceful is not morality. It is not to obey a law or a commandment. Those DOINGS are fake behaviors.
The “reality” of compassion and love is in extent of the openness of our consciousness, and not the openness of our mouths.
Our society is built upon the idea of separation. There has to be a nemesis to make our Life interesting, to have a purpose.
Humans have developed their little colorful country flags, their little national anthems and the idea that they are “representing” something “special” over everyone else. That sense of identification is misguided through chauvinism.
It is team A against team B. It is “Me” and what I am identified with, against everything else.
To separate, we could use jerseys of different colors, the color of our skin, or ideas. Anything helps to make a separation.
That idea of separation is in our core. When “I” am not representing “my” country, “I” am representing my town, my church, my political party, my “ism,” my race, my social status, my education, my age group, my sexual identity….
It is that idea the one that needs to be flushed out from our system for the repercussions are tremendous. This is a matter of consciousness.
I can litter the streets because those are not “mine.” It is “my” country but my separation mode is different now. Among same countrymen, the streets, the Ocean, the air are not “mine.” Those are “mine” only when someone from another country, someone “different” wants something with them.
That is the stupid idea deeply ingrained which books do not talk about, nor the priest, the religion or the politician.
Those only “talk about” peace, unity, love… Cheap talk.
When we ARE separation, how could we be united? By DOING something?
That conditioning of “survival of the fittest” is flawed as most humans believe it is.
“I” cannot survive without the other things around for the “other” things are truly part of “I.”
Pollute the air, pollute the Ocean, displace animals from their habitat… What happens then?
In our society, economic interests are first. We live in this human made realm to compete. That is our fight to survive.
That is the extension of the conditioning.
With the above in mind, how a man will act with a woman when united in sexual intercourse?
Deep down it is a fight. A competition. A struggle to subdue the other. It comes natural! Although we may label that as “love” or “making love,” or use another “nice” label. We cannot hide who we ARE.
Anything a “modern” conditioned man DOES will only reflect who he IS.
So, am “I” preaching to “change,” to be someone else by “practicing” some idea? NO. I am merely stating my perception. It is just a perception.
Change does not happen when I try to DO the opposite of what “I” understand to be “wrong” to make it “right.” That is infantile.
Change happens when I can clearly see who “I” AM without any additional emotions to defend or condemn myself. Just SEE it completely.
For as long as we do not SEE it, we will only believe it or we will not.
We will add yet another belief in our deep and huge bag of beliefs, that sooner or later will be lost in forgetfulness. All we will have left then, is another “nice” talk about Love, Peace, Compassion, Unity, etc.
The mind can live with the ideal, but “reality” cannot.
The mind says: “ if “my free will” is rubbish, then I am predestined, I am a puppet of destiny… That is sad!!”
🙂 That “I” does not exist. Who is predestined then?
Until you realize and experience, “No-I” you cannot possibly understand anything but “I.”
“I am God. I am a son of God. I am an angel. I am wealthy. I am beautiful. I am ….” That makes up your society, your religion, your language, your ideology.
Some readers send their questions, but they cannot understand that the writer “avyakt7” does not exist anymore. Ahnanda cannot answer those questions, for those questions are set up for a particular answer in a particular consciousness.
For instance, someone asked about the relationship of beauty and lust and then the difference between lust and greed. “I want to know” the reader said.
Your consciousness is caught up with language. It will not do anything to you, to know the difference or relationship of 2 words. See those things in yourself. Understand them in yourself. Let go of your mind’s talk to observe.
For some readers, lust is something ugly, something ”bad.”
For some, lust is something to avoid, to reject, to repress.
However the same energy of lust, is the one transforming into compassion (good feelings and good wishes) like day transforms into night.
Some want to have day at all times and reject night. That is called an ideal. Ideals are illusions.
John is lustful with a woman. Is that lust going away if John decides to change his “behavior”? Is that lust going away if John represses his lust? If he knows the difference between lust and greed or the relationship of lust and beauty?
Everything John DOES will be a cover up.
Observe it. Become aware of it in the moment that it appears. This is not a mental: “Aha! This is lust… I will observe it!” That will not work, that is the mind. To observe means to feel everything without trying to escape, without trying to act on it, without judgment or labeling. Experience the triggers, experience how it appears… and how it disappears. But most don’t experience that because there is rejection and guilt in them. Then it stays stuck, it becomes a trauma.
Learn to let go. If we learn to control, we cannot observe.
Some minds will only keep one side of the coin as the “good one,” but yet a coin needs both sides to be a coin.
Get out of the mind, the labels, the judgments and merely observe, be aware of the continuous change, be empty.
It is that emptiness what some call love, others compassion, others God and yet others… are afraid of it. Different perceptions. Different stories. 🙂
If the content of an experience hasn’t been processed in Life, then different experiences will bring similar content, until our own perception of “what is” changes without rejection. Inner alignment occurs when we see what we are.
That “change” it is not a mental game or a well-applied method from some ideology or an ideal. It is simply who we “are” at that time in a natural way.
Richard went to the beach a month after his episode with little fish.
This time he went with a couple of wise friends.
After a nice and meaningful talk, Richard was ready to go for a swim; then in that precise moment a guy on his right, called him by making signals. He was a fisherman! He caught a big fish! 🙂
The fisherman was about 30 meters away from Richard’s spot. Richard ran towards him. The fisherman speaking broken English and with joy said: “Picture, take picture!”
The Fisherman caught a small shark.
Richard took the Fisherman’s smart phone/camera, and participated in the joy of the fisherman.
The Fisherman posed for the camera with his catch and Richard took 2 pictures and gave the camera back. The Fisherman gave his thanks and Richard went back to his friends.
Both friends knew about Richard’s previous episode with fish and how he feels about them.
His more “subtle” friend asked: “What did you feel?”
Richard said: “I felt the joy of the Fisherman. I participated in it.”
“and… what did you feel for the fish?” his friend, asked.
Richard responded: “I felt compassion.”
Richard’s friend said: “Because of that compassion, the fish was thrown into the Ocean again… Look!”
In fact, the small shark wasn’t with the fisherman anymore. Richard later found out from the Fisherman, that it was let go into the Ocean. Apparently, sharks could be out of the water for several minutes.
In that episode Richard discovered the meaning of compassion.
Compassion is not pity but far from it, it is a feeling of acceptance of someone’s destiny in Life. In that acceptance there is no sorrow but a sense of being OK with the process, knowing that it is not the final product, the end… but a degree of experiencing something in Life… the circle of polarity.
Richard did not use his passive ego to reject the situation but considered the joy of the Fisherman. He participated along with the Fisherman’s perspective of Life. In that act, at that moment; the Fisherman was the hunter and the fish, the prey. To acknowledge that duality which makes up “One,” is to be aware of what is.
Richard did not use his mind or thought to weigh the possibilities and “choose” a preference, but he acted as he felt, as he was at that moment, knowing that it wasn’t a religious precept or a teaching that he was following, but acknowledging the capacity to feel for both actors: The hunter and the prey. That was a honest action.
When Richard’s compassion and joy was part of that story of the hunter and the prey, the polarity was changed as a new feeling was added in the story: It was the feeling of joy and compassion of the hunter and the compassion and joy of the prey mingling with the joy and compassion of Richard; after all Richard was part of that scene, not as the hunter or the prey, but as a joyful and compassionate witness and observer.
Batman wasn’t born when he faced his fear of bats.
He was born when he discovered his guilt (of his parents being murdered) covered by his anger.
His anger allowed him to look fearless…but he had fear, and he faced it.
Propelled by anger he could have been a criminal, without that; he discovered compassion. He was born again.
The fear of bats was just a symbol preserving that guilt.
Our desire to become “something” such as “better, enlightened, wise, powerful, fearless, etc.” is the obstacle of being empty of ego. Who wants to become “better”? The “I.” The same “I” who wants to get rid of himself to become “better.”
Every energy that we come in contact with, has a purpose for being there.
Anger, lust, greed, attachment, ego… all of those have a purpose. They are neither “good nor bad” but necessary when we are living in the consciousness of “I.” The purpose of the above energies is to maintain and support that “I.”
Once the “I” wants to get rid of those energies due to feeling guilty, all that this “I” can do is… avoid acting, avoid expressing.
Those energies will be in the person despite his actions. That energy cannot be discarded by willing to be “better,” by “making effort” or by following a method, or by connecting with whichever sacred entity we can think of.
There are many “peace seekers.” The ideal is peace.
Peace is not a “doing.” The absence of war is not peace, when humans live in inner struggle.
It is that inner struggle the one seeking self-destruction.
Under that condition; there cannot be peace but only absence of war as a repression of expressing our inner struggle.
“Peace seekers” are acting according to their experience of peace. Thus, there are some people who will act, rally, proselytize pushing “peace”… and others who will not.
Action defines some people. When their actions are not in congruence with BEING, it is an egotistical action. Others know that BEING drives doing, thus peace can only be brought when we are peaceful ourselves. No need to talk, to act, but to BE.
Anger has a function. We could cover our guilt in anger. We could bury our fear by covering it with a “nice” ideal, a “nice” word such a “compassion,” “love,” etc.
That is the state of consciousness of most individuals. It is about ideals, it is about “nice” words, it is about following a method, a teacher, a God, a holy scripture…to be “better,” to be “more spiritual,” to become “enlightened.”
When we are willing to peel our layers of inner deception, that is the time when we awaken to the reality of our inner dishonesty. That is the time when rather than “practicing” and “doing things to become better,” we face who we are. We face our fears, our struggles not by rejecting them or by asking for forgiveness, but by acknowledging that “this” is who we are at this time.
Just as if we were looking at another person and pinpointing that person’s virtues and weaknesses, we don’t realize that we are seeing what we know in ourselves.
We may need to be able to look at ourselves. Become aware of that which we call “I.”
Then we will see that anger, fear, lust, attachment, had a reason and timing to be there; but once we see them, perhaps the time to let them go has arrived.
There is nothing to do or practice to get rid of them, but just by allowing the opening of that “I,” by allowing for changes to happen, by allowing emptiness and not by trying desperately to control things so they appear the way we believe to be “good for us.”
Life has its own methods. Do not judge the method.
Definitely the above is not for all of us, for we may not be ready yet to “see inside.”
When that “inner looking” does not happen, then the “game” of naming actions and things as “good or bad, right or wrong” will be necessary for that is as much as our consciousness will allow us to understand.
What else could we see, if we are not willing to face ourselves?
The world in duality is not typically understood as the interplay of perceived opposite but complementary forces to maintain a harmonious balance. We have been taught to select one of the forces and reject the other.
In this world we value compassion. Some religions and “spiritual keywords” label compassion as something “good.”
Nevertheless, compassion comes from the experience of suffering.
Isn’t suffering “bad”? 🙂
How is it possible to be compassionate without knowing what suffering is? Knowing is not reading about it. It is living it.
The experience of suffering brings greater sensibility to a person.
John kicked the rear end of his dog “Huey.”
If John had the sensibility to empathize with the suffering of others, he couldn’t do harm to a less capable being.
That sensibility allows John to act without a commandment, such as: “Thou shall not kick your pet’s behind.”
Perhaps John has experienced that sort of suffering which has allowed him to breakdown his ego into pieces and to know first hand, what compassion is.
On the other hand, John could have rejected the experience of suffering and that rejection could have created a sense of revenge. Obviously, revenge is the other extreme, which is meant to strengthen the sense of ego.
When John is ready to self-transform, that sense of revenge will necessarily have to transform into compassion.
That is most “seekers’” journey.
The ego is shattered through suffering. When that suffering is perceived as a traumatic experience, more rejection will be built and bitterness will come out.
A bitter person is someone who continuously rejects the experience of suffering as “bad luck,” or a “punishment” from God, destiny, etc.
That same suffering is the opportunity to self-transform: When the ego diminishes its size, then there is an automatic perception of that Totality, wholesomeness of Life.
As my friend Mathias says: “The Universe holds a mirror and most are interested in only seeing the reflection of their own faces. By doing that, these individuals miss the opportunity to see the reflection of everything else.”
That is the experience of a self-absorbed individual.
Looking back at my life experiences, Ananda was born out of the ashes of a different person, Avyakt7.
Avyakt7 went through different kinds of suffering. Those were originally taken as traumatic experiences (thus, the need to heal emotional wounds), which brought a feeling of fear, uncertainty and the greatest need to cling to something to bring some sort of security in life and … even after it.
That “security” thing may have different labels among individuals: God, wife, husband, family, work, etc.
The suffering of “losing” all of the above and more, becomes the source of liberation from all.
That suffering transforms when we bow down to life and allow life itself to change us. This is not surrendering but bowing down; that is to allow that life force to do its work as when we watch the forces of Nature, like a Hurricane or a Tornado, in their presence we bow down in awe.
Therefore, suffering is a medium to transform. It is a medium to know about compassion and a medium to dismantle the arrogance of the ego.
Is suffering “good or bad”?
Like everything else, it all depends on the state of consciousness looking at it.