Jack IS gentle, egotistic, compassionate and he portrays an addictive personality. Did he “practice” anything to get this way? Did he learn any “techniques” or followed instructions to BE that way?
If another person has observed compassion in Jack, and she wants that compassion that Jack has, how could she get it?
She can only “practice” those actions that she recognized to BE compassion. However, are ACTIONS by themselves compassionate? A compassionate person, one who IS compassionate, will ACT with compassion. BEING expresses naturally into ACTION.
If the above paragraph has been understood in depth; then we could observe how any form of spirituality or “sacred” sexuality made from “techniques, methods and the practice of those;” is fake.
“Spirituality” made of rituals and practices only focus on the ACTION, the external element observed by all. But Love is not a ritual. Love is not a method. Any action coming from BEING Love, will have that perfume in it.
We may ask, how can I BE Love? That question shows that we don’t understand. BEING is not dependent on external actions or behaviors made purposely to change something in us. It does not depend on our will power or a “new year resolution.” For what we believe to BE love is merely an idea. We say:
“A loving person is understanding. He is compassionate. He is gentle. He is willing to sacrifice for another. He speaks sweetly, etc.”
The above is not Love. The above are just words defining our idea of love. We believe in “practicing” those ideas to have love as the result.
The reality of love is a mystery. Others may recognize that quality in us. There are no actions or specific words that we could express in order to BE Love.
BEING Love brings its own aroma which is very hard to put in words.
“OK. So much for explanations. where do I start then?”
Obviously in recognizing those things that we ARE NOW. If we are AWARE, those things will come out through the mirror of relationships with others and within. What we recognize out of that deep look within, is not an exercise to label what we see as a virtue or a sin. What we recognize are triggers: Sparks of anger, elation, violence, compassion, disappointment, hope within us. True recognition IS without using those labels. Just feel them and recognize the origin.
“Now I get it!! “I” should not create any sparks or triggers at all…”
NO. We can fake our reaction and believe that we have “healed.” We can fake our feelings with a theatrical performance, like an actor.
Our only “job” is to BE AWARE and to trace back in our lives, the origins of that situational trigger. That is all. As the AWARENESS deepens, then inner opening happens, emptiness arrives and through that emptiness there is newness…. CHANGE.
We’ve been taught to DO things to Change! To take prescribed steps to achieve some sort of change, as if we could control consciousness and Life itself!
As we become AWARE that Life experiences are not separated from what we call “I,” then we could start perceiving the limitations of DOING things to “achieve” something, that we believe will make us “better.”
CHANGE is a natural process, it is not a forced activity based on learned conditioning.
CHANGE IS NATURAL in LIFE. Humans make it “unnatural” through methods, practices and different types of control.
Human beings have been trying to find fulfilment in Life.
That “effort” has brought intrinsic division: What “I” want, someone else also wants. There is competition, conflict.
Religious groups, political parties, intellectual factions, etc. are only extension of the individual, there is conflict between them.
Thus, there is conflict among groups making up larger groups such as nations, races, cultural traditions.
“Problem solvers” want to “change the world,” through policies, laws, beliefs, etc. But the core of the issue has always been the individual.
Within an individual, there is intrinsic conflict between his feelings and what is in his mind.
Conflict is part of our lives, but yet we would like to feel wholesome, united, fulfilled. We compromise with some happy moments here and there.
Our minds try to fix that conflict by coming up with “methods” or “techniques” to help us achieve what we ARE not.
What is natural, what we truly ARE cannot use any techniques or methods to BE something else. That has been the “spiritual” lie for centuries.
For instance, If I use a “method” to become loving with people, I am not love; but I am faking it. A “method” will define what love should be, I will practice what I am not.
That “technique” has been used from time immemorial: If the Buddha didn’t eat meat, I should DO that too. I should force myself to be like him.
If my guru says that TV is a waste of time, I should stop watching it. I should make the “effort” to be like my guru, to be “better,” to be like him.
If my sexuality manifests violence, I should cover that with a “technique; “so it is perceived as genuine care.
That is the Life of a dishonest person: To try to cover up the “truth” of who we ARE.
It is in the acknowledgement of who we ARE, the AWARENESS of that; how change starts.
That is natural. When we do not understand that something that is not natural is fake, we will force that change through “techniques” and “methods.”
That change is through violence.
The laws of our society are only concerned in what “I” do to another. We have labeled all kinds of violent acts for that with different kinds of “punishment.”
However, when a person is violent towards himself, that is not covered by any law.
Sooner or later, individuals who are suppressed of their violent nature towards others, will inflict that force into themselves.
What is the source of that violence?
Division. Conflict. It starts within us and it ends in the collective consciousness.
That energy of violence impregnates everything we touch.
We could talk about love, peace, compassion, etc. but violence is what we ARE.
Want to change? Be the change that you want to see? Just Do it?
Never mind clichés.
Be AWARE of that violence in the words we use while speaking to another, while driving to work, while eating, while relating with loved ones. It is there.
How can we “make love” with that violence?
How can we imitate the “Buddha” with that violence?
How can we “practice” compassion with that violence?
In the AWARENESS of this is how change starts. This is not a question of belief in a religion or a holy person, a politician or in some god.
However, those who are not ready for AWARENESS, will definitely need to believe in a religion, a holy guru, a God and a politician.
But violence will be hidden until it is uncovered.
Our society is built upon the idea of separation. There has to be a nemesis to make our Life interesting, to have a purpose.
Humans have developed their little colorful country flags, their little national anthems and the idea that they are “representing” something “special” over everyone else. That sense of identification is misguided through chauvinism.
It is team A against team B. It is “Me” and what I am identified with, against everything else.
To separate, we could use jerseys of different colors, the color of our skin, or ideas. Anything helps to make a separation.
That idea of separation is in our core. When “I” am not representing “my” country, “I” am representing my town, my church, my political party, my “ism,” my race, my social status, my education, my age group, my sexual identity….
It is that idea the one that needs to be flushed out from our system for the repercussions are tremendous. This is a matter of consciousness.
I can litter the streets because those are not “mine.” It is “my” country but my separation mode is different now. Among same countrymen, the streets, the Ocean, the air are not “mine.” Those are “mine” only when someone from another country, someone “different” wants something with them.
That is the stupid idea deeply ingrained which books do not talk about, nor the priest, the religion or the politician.
Those only “talk about” peace, unity, love… Cheap talk.
When we ARE separation, how could we be united? By DOING something?
That conditioning of “survival of the fittest” is flawed as most humans believe it is.
“I” cannot survive without the other things around for the “other” things are truly part of “I.”
Pollute the air, pollute the Ocean, displace animals from their habitat… What happens then?
In our society, economic interests are first. We live in this human made realm to compete. That is our fight to survive.
That is the extension of the conditioning.
With the above in mind, how a man will act with a woman when united in sexual intercourse?
Deep down it is a fight. A competition. A struggle to subdue the other. It comes natural! Although we may label that as “love” or “making love,” or use another “nice” label. We cannot hide who we ARE.
Anything a “modern” conditioned man DOES will only reflect who he IS.
So, am “I” preaching to “change,” to be someone else by “practicing” some idea? NO. I am merely stating my perception. It is just a perception.
Change does not happen when I try to DO the opposite of what “I” understand to be “wrong” to make it “right.” That is infantile.
Change happens when I can clearly see who “I” AM without any additional emotions to defend or condemn myself. Just SEE it completely.
For as long as we do not SEE it, we will only believe it or we will not.
We will add yet another belief in our deep and huge bag of beliefs, that sooner or later will be lost in forgetfulness. All we will have left then, is another “nice” talk about Love, Peace, Compassion, Unity, etc.
The mind can live with the ideal, but “reality” cannot.
I live in Tampa, Florida. Our winter here is pretty mild so far. I went to Lima, Peru for vacation to visit family.
In Lima, the Sunshine is emerging as Summer is on the way.
I could not be able to fully appreciate the weather in Tampa unless I go somewhere else, ideally to the opposite experience. Self-realization uses pretty much the same “method.”
Most of us are comfortable with our Life styles. We have been conditioned.
To be conditioned is not a “bad thing,” it is just the “outside” becoming the “inside” to put it in simple words.
Therefore, there is a need to “distance” from the outside to become AWARE.
Life has many “methods” for this when the person is ready to initiate the journey of self-realization.
Someone may lose everything that his conditioning has valued. Another may find an extremist religion to get out of his conditioning. Another may experience a disease, a life threatening situation or the death of a loved one. Those events will force the individual to see Life from a different perspective: It is either to change to survive in newness or to embrace their own physical death. Newness is the outcome of either “choice,” thus there is no “good or bad” choice.
At the end of this “game,” whether we endure, suffer, complain, etc. trying to be the same, to remain the same, to maintain “status quo;” Change will appear. This realization may be the beginning of “spiritual” intelligence in Life.
I can appreciate now the weather in Tampa, Florida. I am aware of the subtle changes of green shades on trees, vegetation, and the intensity of the sun. I am aware of the wind, its cooling effect in Winter rather than the gentle breeze it used to be in the Summer. The above, may be nonsense for someone who is entrenched in the “office world” and the “political activities through economies of scale,” living fully in the world of the mind.
Want to know what self-realization may entail?
To get out of our current conditioning, fully, without a chance to go back until the “new” conditioning takes effect.
That is all, but when is happening to “you”… not to many are able to survive.
But if you survive, there is an issue. What is the problem?
To call the “new” conditioning “truth,” “reality” and all of those self-empowering words that only brighten the halo of the “I.”
To be able to perceive different perspectives is the origin of clairvoyance (clear vision.)
Summer is different than Winter. We call them opposites, but they are not. They are different shades of the same experience.
The same happens with every human being. Every human being is experiencing a particular shade of the full range of experiences. This awareness brings understanding of the human dilemma of “doing the right thing” or “being a good person.” Those labels only have meaning through a particular perspective, a particular viewpoint, conditioning…
The “Office World” is just an office located in the 2nd floor of the skyscraper of Life. For many individuals, that is their only reference, their perspective, their reality. Self realization lies in getting out of that office and rather than taking the elevator to the 100th floor, you will take the stairs to the 100th floor to learn to see Life from different perspectives. You will sweat, you will feel uncomfortable, you will suffer, you will be tired, it may seem as if the 100th floor will never arrive. You may lose hope… but you will continue on, because you are ready. Once you get to the top… It is time to come down. That is the “reward.” The experience will free you as nothing could ever do.
That is the price of Freedom from the known, that is… Self-realization.
I have modified this blog a bit to express change. The “about” page was changed. “Exploring the Depth of Living” was simplified with the phrase: “The journey from Yoga into Tantra” while living Life in joy.
From now on, I will be sharing twice a week: Monday and Friday.
I appreciate your openness to read these articles. Change is all that could be offered in this new phase. 🙂
While the “office world” embraces a “black or white” approach, where “good and evil” are separated by a line which everyone knows about; but no one can “define” its limits; Life itself, Nature, is free from those mind made concepts.
What is “good”? We could expand into many words to explain the idea. It is way easier to use its opposite to define it: It is the absence of evil, bad.
Although, I haven’t said anything helpful; for most minds accustomed to words, definitions and concepts; I have given the “right answer.” 🙂
Life is not about answers. It is about experiences.
In Life, everything happening to the “I” is completely neutral. It is only a way for further change.
“So, you didn’t get the job you applied for and that you wanted so bad… That is too bad! Perhaps you need to work on the “law of attraction” a bit more to manifest your desire… Or you may want to work on some “flexible awareness” and be “flexible about the possibilities…”
To use concepts to practice them, will never make a change in yourself, in BEING flexible. It will only make you think that you are changing, by changing your behavior when you remember to practice the concept. Obviously, this will not sell any books.
If you didn’t get the job, that means that the experience of it, will introduce further change in you. It will sneak out, because when your mind knows what is going to happen next; there cannot be change.
That is why, the mind likes static things. The mind relies on the unchanging “I.”
Because the ego becomes solid. It exists.
“Please God… Make me rich as hell…” You could pray all you want. If that happens or not, it does not depend on “you.”
Causality is the “law” behind every movement, every change. The “I” is completely unaware of that, for the “I” is busy getting things which he has been conditioned to.
“I will work hard to get that Mercedes Benz AMG S65 – Cabriolet. I just got to have it!”
Sure. Get 3 jobs. 8 hours each. If you have “obstacles,” you could indulge in some nefarious activities… Just don’t get caught! You are only guilty, if you are caught!
The “I” will fight, scream, struggle with Life, to get that damn Mercedes… Remember not to tint the windows, so people can see you driving it. Yeah, it is about the “status.” Your conditioning has been quite successful. Congrats!
Life is completely impervious to that wish. It may happen? Yes. But that is not the end of the story. You see, there is no “happy end” here. Life is a continuous of experiences. It is not like the movies or soap operas with an artificial end. The Mercedes could be an instrument for further change, and perhaps the “I” is not ready to accept that yet. That rejection will bring suffering for sure.
By all means, get your Mercedes. That may be a needed experience; however, be AWARE of the continuity in Life. BE AWARE that what you think you possess today, may not be here tomorrow. It is a matter of time.
That is how we learn to enjoy the “now,” not as a concept but through experiences.
Enjoyment is not something that “I have to DO.”
Enjoyment is something that “I AM.”
That change comes about, when the cocky self realizes that he cannot control Life; at that moment to be humble is no longer a practice, a concept… you ARE. Congrats! 🙂
We have no choice. How do you like that?
Many will react to this statement, mostly those who have no idea of what the “I” is. Their dreamy world continues on with all the “choices” they are making.
Is your intelligence your choice?
How about your looks? How about your consciousness?
“Spirituality for the masses” continues on making followers believe that “We can change our consciousness. We can change world consciousness.” That sort of material is sold to many, for most “like the idea” that “I am control. I am in charge.”
The question is, control of what? The “office world”? Of course. That is meant to cater the egocentric need of the mind. However, the things that matter such as health, aging, intelligence, psychological readiness, consciousness, awareness and Life and Death… Those things are completely out of “our” control. How do we like that? What the “office world” can do about it? Perhaps offer insurance, power, money to control those things?
The “I” can only change behavior. “I” can behave according to what my mind recognizes as being “good,” however, that is no change at all. Nevertheless, our society, our understanding and morality is only concerned with behavior. The mind is required for that, thus; the “I” is there. “Spirituality” based solely on change of behavior is infantile.
Honesty is not shown in behavior. Who we ARE could be hidden behind the action.
Awakening is not an easy thing. Picture that you are deeply asleep and someone is nagging the heck out of you to wake up… What do you do? What is your “choice”?
“I can bend my left pinky, that is my choice!”
Yes…but go deeper. Who made the choice? It was the mind. It had a reason, even if that is to prove me wrong. That reason hides the “I.” Otherwise, your pinky moves without your awareness. It is automatic. Have you noticed that?
The mind creates a static entity and separates it from Life. It even separates your pinky from the rest of the body, when in reality your pinky needs a hand and the hand needs an arm and the arm needs a body and the body needs a “something” to be alive…but we never stop and ask: Who is that “I”? and most important, Where is it?
Yes, we can believe all sort of things and even call it with names such as “soul,” just to stop our inquire, but that is superficial. Observe that there is no difference between that “I” and what we call mind. Observe that the contents of the mind and therefore, the “I” cannot bring newness for the mind is a repository of things that we have accumulated. We see the world and ourselves through that lenses.
Humans as well as all living beings are agents for change. Life manifests change through all living organisms.
The paradox is that we are needed exactly as we are… but what we are, does not depend on us. It is related with consciousness.
Take away choice, and free will goes down the drain… but it is not that “bad” for guilt, shame and forgiveness… all of that goes along with it, flushed down the toilet… There is more, but that is up to you to find out. 🙂
“Flowing” in Life cannot happen while we maintain our ideal of what it “should be.”
The most important item to unlearn is the idea that “I am someone.”
Look at yourself in the mirror. Observe all the labels coming from your mind to define “you.” Some may be stuck with the image of a brainy lawyer, others with the image of a 24 x 7 Mom and yet others with the image of a self-defined punk.
Out of that image, comes the behavior to support the ideal. That behavior will be our activities, our actions.
That is how religions and psychological systems created to change individuals, assume that by changing the perception of our image, our behavior and actions will change.
Yes… the individual will change superficially through defined actions by a system and he will be stuck in that “mental” box of artificial change, unable to BE who he truly is or someone else… Although Life roars for change.
That is the problem with hard core belief systems and strong father/mother/spouse figures: I may be busy changing my image to be what my religion thinks an angel or a saint should be or a good son or daughter or wife or husband should be. I may change my behavior to try to match that expectation. I may act purposely to fit the ideal… But the bottom line is that “I AM” not that. It is rehearsed, artificial, manipulative, calculating… all mind created.
Because “I am not” that, a strong dissonance will arrive to the ideal “I should be,” for it will not fit the growth, the change coming from within.
Those willing to “suck that up,” convinced that “I should not change no matter what,” those are not living Life. Those are already death in their stubbornness. Enjoyment is an experience away from their experience.
Fear of change is their Life. There cannot be “flowing in Life” under fear.
To flow means that the “I” is immersed in Life, as a drop of water in the Ocean.
Observe and feel in your gut, what is your calling at this time. Once something else arrives in Life, observe, feel and act if called for.
If we believe that because we acted in one way in the past, we should act the same way in the future to be consistent, then your mind is defining you and that definition will not allow you to flow in Life.
That is how the struggle of living Life appears. The “I” wanting to remain unchanged, when everything is change.
Please observe this: “I used to do that, when I was younger. Now I can’t.”
That is not because “you” are older. That is because “You” are not the same. Are you willing to observe that “You” are never the same?
“I divided my fortune between my 2 sons equally. That is fair.”
Fairness in Life is not a mathematical equation. Give to each according to their needs, but that sort of fairness, requires for us to be able to feel, to connect to be empathy and not just to use our mind. This sort of fairness is not understood by many. Are we willing to dispel our belief in mathematical fairness?
“I say that Sex before marriage is a sin.” “I say that Sex is a sin.” “I say that Sex is …”
Sex is not a sin. Sex is just Sex. The sin resides in what you feel about it. We cannot change our true feelings, we can only fake that we are changing what we truly feel. Observe that in yourself.
Allow for that one who defines and asserts opinions and beliefs, to be “wrong.” Allow for Life to show you something different. That openness will bring a flow, for there is nothing in this Life that could be qualified with some word, without the possibility of using the opposite word (antonym) for the same item at the same time.
It just depends on how you feel. 🙂