What is the recipe to be happy? What is the method?
Why are most people looking for that “achievement”?
It appears that no matter what we DO, no matter what we achieve, there is something “lacking” and precisely that is what we believe could give us happiness.
Are you wealthy? Are you healthy? Are you vital? Are you beautiful? Are you famous? Are you intelligent? Are you confident? Are you wise? Are you attractive? Are you in a fulfilling relationship?
What is lacking?
That is what “I need” to be happy. That is what I desire.
Isn’t happiness the absence of desires? That is an inaccurate definition!
I wish you to be happy! That is my desire. Would that desire make me unhappy?
We try to define happiness, research it and hold it with our own bare hands although it is a shadow of intellectual illusions.
We dream about a constant state that we haven’t experienced. Life changes. Why can’t we? We believe that to prolong a moment of joy, is happiness. Belief upon belief we live in the anxiety of “achieving” a dream, just to keep on dreaming. When are we going to wake up?
A donkey is looking to grab a flying carrot. It looks so flawless, so tasty! That is our pursuit of happiness.
Awareness dictates that carrots exist, but they don’t fly.
A happy person does not have thoughts about being happy or unhappy. That is why he IS happy.
Every experience in Life is necessary just as it is, no matter how we label them.
A desire, a goal, an objective will always be in the future.
Patience lives in that gap between the “now” and that future.
A desire, a goal, an objective may be attained or may not.
We could live with the belief that we will do. There is no attainment that could bring inner fulfillment.
“Success” is the word we use when we attain something.
“Failure” is the word we use when we cannot attain.
Patience is the common ground where Inner fulfillment is found.
Have you experienced what is like to patiently wait?
If you “do it right,” you will not feel the time as “wasted.”
Don’t like to wait?
Then do not have a goal, an objective, a desire to attain.
When there is no failure, there is no success; thus, patience only remains.
Wait! That is it. Wait a minute, a second… How long can you wait?
Why do we feel tired of waiting?
Because of the need to attain.
It is “bad” to have an objective or a goal?
NO! As long as you are willing to play the game. Objectives bring time, and time brings the “future,” the waiting game.
Without objectives or goals or desires, what could we DO in Life?
Easy. We could live Life.
Can we live without goals? or should we patiently wait until we can?
Patience: Hallowed be thy name…
If Life brings lemons, and I dream about strawberries; how can I come at peace with my disappointment?
By forgetting yourself. Going beyond “you” and your problems, your unfulfilled mental dreams, your drama. “Others” exist in integration when we forget ourselves. Before that consciousness, “others” is only separation, a barrier. As Sartre said: “Hell is other people.” So …”Heaven” is only “you.”
Society will teach us to imitate somebody as a role model.
“He lived with lemons. Be like him.”
Imitation brings repression.
Repression is a form of dishonesty.
Every time Life brings what we desire easily; we learn that Life “works for us.” We learn to expect that. Ego increases.
When that which we desire does not appear despite our “efforts,” we become bitter, disappointed, angry, etc. Ego increases as well.
Therefore, whether we get what we desire or not, still ego will grow through our expectations. Growth of ego is part of Life, and paradoxically, that is its natural path for dissolution.
Forget yourself. That is the fast lane. You cannot drive there? Then continue with your expectations. Paradoxically, that is another way to forget yourself. That is the slow lane.
Anything that we desire, may come to fruition at a time when we least expect it.
When there is expectation, we cannot enjoy the experience of living Life as it IS, for our minds are always looking for something which does not exist. That is insane.
Life is unexpected.
Wisdom is not attained. There is no achievement there.
Insight is not given in a “spiritual class.”
There is no religion or philosophical system that could offer wisdom, but conditioning through information.
There is no course or “certification,” that could prepare anyone to be a “spiritual guide.”
Living Life will unleash wisdom… little by little.
Living Life in awareness, will speed things up.
Therefore; in Life, we could go slow or we could go fast.
Either way we will get there.
Nowhere. A rat in a maze will run everywhere, “searching” for something. Awareness, will allow us to know that we are in a maze. What is there to search? The “exit”? Everyone will get there without “effort.” Thus, Enjoy the maze!
The “spiritual class,” the religion, the philosophical system, the spiritual certification, the course with the guru, will give you a destination, a “where to go,” Something to achieve!
The majority of “spiritual” people need that. Achieve by paying a fee.
Go through a door, here comes another. There are so many doors! Which one is the “top door” to achieve? What is the shortcut, the “right” method? Label every door: Level 1, level 2, level 3… just like a Nintendo game. Now we are going someplace! Although, nowhere.
Every experience in Life, is a preparation for another experience: We label them as “good, bad, beautiful, ugly.” Whatever they are in our minds, they will go away. Never stay the same. Change is inevitable and that is Life.
Want to be “right”? Want to “accomplish” something? Want to be someone “important” here or the afterlife?
Obtain the labels with “hard work,” but remain empty handed as the experience will change. Even in the “afterlife.”
You can DO many things in Life. You cannot DO many things in Life. What is the difference? It all comes down on how you feel.
We are naturally called to relax, unwind, take the time to play a flute without the aim of becoming “better at it.” We could sit down in Nature and be there, present, with an empty mind without effort… and feel that peace! That is what most are looking to find in a church, in meditation class, in a spiritual talk, in some sort of “special” experience or belief system.
Don’t we know that what we are looking for, is inside us already?
We are living with THAT all the time, but yet we are not aware. We use our time to search for something… we truly don’t know what that IS, but we search, out there, looking for answers.
Going outside of the self, is another way to go inside.
Life is paradoxical and it has a sense of humor: Go North, you’ll end up going South. Work hard to be “right,” you’ll end up on the “wrong” path. Want to take the “wrong” path then? You’ll end up “right.” It is just a matter of time.
Are you smiling at that sense of humor?
But yet we take Life so seriously… 🙂
Our society is fixated with the sense of sight. We have an ideal of what is “right.” We just need to change whatever we see, to look like the ideal, the model. This arrangement may work in the “office world” but certainly, not in Life.
To BE one with Life, that is for self-realization, those concepts of “fixing things” including the self, to make them like a role model, are out of place.
Self- realization is more in tune with inner feeling. The “role model” is out.
Let me give an example: In our society, we cherish competitive sports. For instance, in swimming, we are primarily concerned with moving faster not in feeling swimming for the sake of it. To go faster is the unspoken “goal.” We believe that there are certain techniques that will get us there. All we need to do is to watch and learn those techniques from the “champs.” The interesting aspect is that every coach has his take on a particular technique or drill. We just follow what the authoritative person says. That is the safe step as we don’t want to be “wrong.”
This is the way “spirituality” works, as well as religions. We need to go “faster” to heaven before we die. We need to ask the priest and the guru for advise, because they should be “right.” We just want to follow the “method” or “technique.”
In “self-realization,” there are no techniques to follow, for going faster is no longer a goal. Thus, we will not be concerned in watching videos and learning techniques to go faster so we can “win.” The thing is to feel, to be present, to BE swimming, Life itself. None of that “feeling stuff” will give us “benefits” so in society, we dismiss it.
We need to re-learn to feel. When you are in the water, feel your movements. Experiment with what brings you greater enjoyment. If there is pain, then you have found a limit.
Life is like swimming. However, rather than a swimming pool, we have a river moving continuously. Our mind is stuck with “goals.” We want to get to the other side faster. We want to time ourselves and beat the competition so we can earn a medal and everyone should know about this “feat;” applaud us, and remember us when we are gone, we want to be labeled as a “legend.” That is the belief of “success.”
It is that mentality, that conditioning of believing that Life is only a bigger version of the “office world;” which is hindering our possibility to relax, unwind and float, as the river has already a direction. We cannot see that destination, so we come up with mental ideas, illusions and day dreaming to “achieve.” The destination is not to be seen. It is to be felt and trusted.
Our minds want to make sure that we attain something along the way as a “proof,” that we are going in the “right” path… We don’t want to be “wrong.”
It doesn’t work like that. Life brings experiences, humans bring labels (right/wrong, good/bad.)
We wish we could live in Spring all the time, but we cannot be without Winter time.
If you live Spring, Winter is a reality waiting to happen. This is Life.
We see Spring, we believe in it. Once it starts changing, we become stressed out, angry even bitter. Nevertheless, despite our inner tantrums; Winter will arrive. Then, we will make a trauma out of that experience. The consequence of that trauma is a blockage in our perception, in our openness to trust Life.
Fear arrives. Every form of protective shield that we have created around ourselves, is a hue of fear.
We cannot see that. We cannot believe that.
We could feel it, but we are too afraid.
Once we gain the courage to swim past a “trauma,” we could be lost in “achievements” and “goals” again, to bury deep inside our fear to enjoy.
Fear to enjoy?
Yes. Don’t you feel it? 😉
Jack IS gentle, egotistic, compassionate and he portrays an addictive personality. Did he “practice” anything to get this way? Did he learn any “techniques” or followed instructions to BE that way?
If another person has observed compassion in Jack, and she wants that compassion that Jack has, how could she get it?
She can only “practice” those actions that she recognized to BE compassion. However, are ACTIONS by themselves compassionate? A compassionate person, one who IS compassionate, will ACT with compassion. BEING expresses naturally into ACTION.
If the above paragraph has been understood in depth; then we could observe how any form of spirituality or “sacred” sexuality made from “techniques, methods and the practice of those;” is fake.
“Spirituality” made of rituals and practices only focus on the ACTION, the external element observed by all. But Love is not a ritual. Love is not a method. Any action coming from BEING Love, will have that perfume in it.
We may ask, how can I BE Love? That question shows that we don’t understand. BEING is not dependent on external actions or behaviors made purposely to change something in us. It does not depend on our will power or a “new year resolution.” For what we believe to BE love is merely an idea. We say:
“A loving person is understanding. He is compassionate. He is gentle. He is willing to sacrifice for another. He speaks sweetly, etc.”
The above is not Love. The above are just words defining our idea of love. We believe in “practicing” those ideas to have love as the result.
The reality of love is a mystery. Others may recognize that quality in us. There are no actions or specific words that we could express in order to BE Love.
BEING Love brings its own aroma which is very hard to put in words.
“OK. So much for explanations. where do I start then?”
Obviously in recognizing those things that we ARE NOW. If we are AWARE, those things will come out through the mirror of relationships with others and within. What we recognize out of that deep look within, is not an exercise to label what we see as a virtue or a sin. What we recognize are triggers: Sparks of anger, elation, violence, compassion, disappointment, hope within us. True recognition IS without using those labels. Just feel them and recognize the origin.
“Now I get it!! “I” should not create any sparks or triggers at all…”
NO. We can fake our reaction and believe that we have “healed.” We can fake our feelings with a theatrical performance, like an actor.
Our only “job” is to BE AWARE and to trace back in our lives, the origins of that situational trigger. That is all. As the AWARENESS deepens, then inner opening happens, emptiness arrives and through that emptiness there is newness…. CHANGE.
We’ve been taught to DO things to Change! To take prescribed steps to achieve some sort of change, as if we could control consciousness and Life itself!
As we become AWARE that Life experiences are not separated from what we call “I,” then we could start perceiving the limitations of DOING things to “achieve” something, that we believe will make us “better.”
CHANGE is a natural process, it is not a forced activity based on learned conditioning.
CHANGE IS NATURAL in LIFE. Humans make it “unnatural” through methods, practices and different types of control.