Ananda experienced what is like to have an infected finger this past week. The physical “cause” was a piece of yellow squash that got into his index finger while cooking. The underlying “reason” was a buildup of emotionality that needed to come out. The past couple of weeks brought the experience as if everything in “his” world was falling on him. There is a time in Life where we learn how to swim in a nice environment. There is another time, when we need to put that skill into practice while in the “real” Ocean and not a swimming pool anymore.
It took one week for the finger to show symptoms of infection: It swallowed up, hurting with a dull heartbeat, changing color, etc.
Mathias helped Ananda through this “experience.”
Raysha (Ananda’s sister and channel of Mathias) observed how Mathias used some sort of needle of energy, to pull something out of Ananda’s finger. Ananda did not see or felt anything. Mathias then told Ananda to put the finger into a solution of water and baking soda for a few minutes. Ananda felt a relief immediately!
Mathias said: “Your body wants to get rid of the element, but it cannot. That obstruction caused the infection. But behind that infection, there is trapped emotionality inside you due to persistent thoughts.”
Ananda was thankful and appreciative of Mathias and Raysha.
Ananda felt very lucky for not having to see a regular doctor. However, he had to go through the “natural process” of dis-infection.
The finger was in pain for a couple of days. Woke him up at night. Mathias mentioned to apply ice to help in the healing process.
The finger turned into different colors: black with white indentations and red in the periphery. It was an “ugly sight.” Doubts came into Ananda’s mind. Perhaps he needed a regular doctor?
Mathias asked: “Are you finding difficulty to go through the natural process? Once that emotionality goes away from you, so will be the inflammation. You have 2 paths: You could go through the experience of natural healing and take away a valuable lesson OR you may want to get help from Science to make the recovery quicker, but you may not be aware of a lesson. Both paths are fine.”
Ananda went with the natural process.
Mathias said: ”Many times in the process of Life, things get ugly before they move into balance. Those who are not aware of this process do not know the end result and they become anxious and suffer by trying to change things when it is not their time. Only those who are ready to see a lesson, will take that experience as an opportunity for growth.”
So, what was the lesson that Ananda learned through this process?
Ananda learned about the “true” meaning of appreciation.
Many times, Ananda heard this word and even used it in many of his “spiritual” articles. It is a pretty word. Something everyone likes to hear. However, it was truly an ideal, a “concept.”
A “little” finger infection was able to move Ananda’s world into discomfort. Ananda learned to appreciate his health. Something that otherwise, he usually takes for granted. That appreciation is a source of happiness: His world could be upside down, but he is healthy. He can enjoy Life in many ways thanks to health. It is ironic how we need to “lose” something to appreciate it. That was another well-known, pretty phrase, that finally has meaning for him.
Life continually teaches us and will give us the tools for growth in consciousness. We are not willing to learn. We want to “change the world” to fit our ideas.
Unless we are ready to see, we will not see… but yet we are unwilling to trust Life to lead us. We want to see the world as built through the conditionings of our mind. That is why, we cannot AWAKEN. Our eyes are closed in our dreamy world of made up “realities.”
AWARENESS is not something to practice. It is something to be aware of…
How to make sense of that sentence? We heard so much about being AWARE, but all we have are beliefs, interpretations, concepts, information of what that is thus, useless stuff for self-realization.
“Useless” is the right word. It has to be experiential to be able to understand, to know.
Here is an “exercise.” It is not something to “practice.” It is something to fully experience. If you cannot fully experience it, if you cannot let yourself go, then repeat it again.
Find a full size mirror, those that will allow you to observe most of your physical body.
If you are fully clothed, you will probably be alright. The conditioning is to look at the clothes to see if they are wrinkled, if they match, if they look good on you, etc.
Now, take your clothes off. Observe your body and your face fully while doing this “exercise.” Did you notice your tummy? The size of your sexual organs? The color of your skin? The wrinkles in your face?
Did you notice how you feel while observing those elements of your body?
AWARENESS resides in that.
Did you feel shame? Did you blush and feel embarrassed?
In that moment, that is who YOU are.
Isn’t it silly to get embarrassed by looking at your own body?
That is where the hang up resides. Look for the root of it.
Did you like your body?
That is sick! You are supposed to like someone else’s body but not your own. Perhaps you have some homosexual issues… huh?
That’s it! You found another trauma. Go to the root of it. A body is a body. There is beauty in the body. Appreciate it. Enjoy the moment.
Want to go on with the exercise?
OK. Caress your face while looking at the mirror. What do you feel? Caress your chest. What do you feel? Caress your sexual organs. What do you feel?
Masturbation is “bad”! I shouldn’t touch myself! Do you recognize that thought? What is the difference between touching your face and your sexual organs? Find the beliefs, the taboos. Observe how you feel. Be aware of it.
How could you enjoy pleasure with all of those hang ups, taboos and beliefs in morality and decency?
You cannot. Your mind will not allow you. It is not the ACTION what makes something “sinful.” It is what you feel while DOING it.
How do you “love yourself” if you cannot accept what you see and what you feel by touching your own precious body?
Do you take care of it? Now you are aware…
Want to go deeper? Now self-pleasure yourself in front of the mirror. Look at your face but even more important, observe what you feel. Observe the taboos, the moral standards, the traumas flowing…
Do you feel shame? How about guilt? Someone watching you?
Be AWARE of all of that to discover who you truly are.
Observe how all of that inside you is being covered by decent words, spiritual concepts, Godly morality, that stuff is defining you, coercing you to comply with the conditioning. Discover the root of it, liberate yourself!
There cannot be innocence while looking at your image in that mirror and caressing yourself, until that rust accumulated over many Life experiences, is cleaned up, cleared. For that stuff will be the “inheritance” you will give to others close to you.
Become AWARE of that.
When the “I” is hurt through an experience, there could be revenge or there could be surrendering as a reaction. Either way, the “I” cannot let go or move on, for the pain will not allow it.
When a person speaks of the need for emotional or psychological healing, that person is describing a traumatic experience, which wasn’t allowed to dissolve through the full process.
That experience could come from many lives before, but the pain will be triggered through different experiences in our current life.
A person who lacks awareness will only point a finger onto the culprit of his woes, or try to get rid of the “source” of his pain, or even become submissive of a greater force than himself.
All of those reactions are merely there to reject the experience.
To be submissive is to reject our own self worth.
Suzie had issues with her mother from an early age. Her mother was very bossy, thinking that she was right all the time. Suzie couldn’t express herself well. She would keep an experience that she perceived as unjust towards her, in her heart… the “unconscious.”
Suzie developed problems with her digestion which had a psychological origin; however, doctors kept medicating her for a physical problem. Life continued on and those resentments surfaced in Suzie. As the mother became older, she wasn’t the same. Life taught her to tone down, she became almost like a child, but Suzie’s resentment and anger were unleashed towards her mother. “Time to get even,” Suzie thought.
Suzie left the house and she swore never to see her mother again after all the things that she had done to her…
“Time will heal,” we say; but it doesn’t.
Time only covers the wounds.
Those wounds will be open again at some other time.
When the “I” suffers from an experience; there may be a need for “time off.”
That is the time to recuperate and build ourselves up.
General wisdom will advice: “ Move on, forget the past.”
The trauma cannot be forgotten, it will resurface until we realize that we need to face the issue.
“The issues are in the tissues,” and they will resurface as long as fear and our inability to face things is not realized.
Suzie may have the space to recuperate. She may have the space to fill herself with peace, but unless she realizes her attraction towards violence as away to punish herself, she will continually look for violence towards her being: Self-inflicted or not.
Her mother was the trigger and the source to give the opportunity for Suzie to heal.
Why does Suzie punish herself?
There is guilt in her. That guilt needs to be dissolved. The typical word used is “forgiven.”
Suzie may not see it as it is easier to blame the obvious: “Her mother is a witch.” Yes, her mother has her own issues to deal with, but in a household of 3 kids, only one of them was affected as much as Suzie did. In Life, nothing is a random event. The web of interactions is exactly as it needs to be.
We could easily say: “That is Suzie’s karma” but that does not bring any solution to her woes. “You acted wrong in another Life, now you have to pay for it.”
That is a story for little children.
We may need to deal with what is “now” and Life will bring the tools and resources to do it, if we are ready; if the “I” will allow it by not holding onto beliefs, but by having the courage to face the truth as it changes, as it unfolds…
If that emotion is “let go,” then the time to move on has arrived.
The proof that the issue is gone is in Suzie’s interaction with her mother and not in running away and using the “spiritual buzzwords” of “letting go and moving on.”
Therefore, it is in the moment when Suzie faces her mother empty of that guilt, when she will know if she is healed from previous traumatic experiences.
Please keep this in your awareness: Every experience in Life only will show us who we are. Nothing wrong with that. Just become aware of it.
When Suzie is empty of that inner-guilt, there is no outside violence, which will be a magnet for her.
“When do we move on and let go, then?”
When there is no space in us for that type of wound to appear.
When Suzie has dealt with her guilt and she is able to feel appreciation and compassion for her mother, then she could move on and let go of the past and that will be without effort, it will be as natural as watching a rainy day from the comfort of our home.
We could see the beauty, the uniqueness… but we will not get soaking wet.
“Love” will then have a different dimension in Suzie’s heart.
She is healed. 🙂
Looking for all places to find God did not allow me to see that which I call myself. However, without that search I wouldn’t see myself.
Serenity, tranquility comes by the recognition through our own experience in Life that there is absolutely nothing that “I” could “do” to change my current state of consciousness.
Let me put it in another way: “You” cannot change your consciousness. There is nothing that you can “do” to change it.
It just happens.
“Doing” cannot change “Being.”
“But … that goes against all teachings, against all the dogmatic truth of religions and “spirituality”… It goes against everything that society has taught us to be “true.”
That is right.
The “change your thoughts,” become loving, become good, saintly, all of those spiritual “catch phrases” used to sell religions, saviors, books and Cds. All of that can only be “practiced” to change behavior, but our consciousness cannot be changed through “doing” those things. Our consciousness will remain in the same place every time the “I” wishes to change it.
The accepted “spiritual” teaching is:
“It is “I” who can change everything about “Me”… I can change myself… or the “only thing that I can change is myself.”
The “I” can only change behavior but never consciousness, without a change of consciousness, our behavior of “trying to be good” can only be a dishonest trip to self-delusion.
“But… There must be something that “I” could do, something that “I” am responsible for…”
Correct. “You” are responsible for allowing Life to make that change. It is not the “I.”
That is the meaning of being open in Life.
I hear in the background some misinterpretation:
“ Since I cannot change my consciousness then I will just waste myself in trivialities to pass my time… That is what you are saying…”
Wait a minute. Let me finish. 🙂 Since “I” cannot change my consciousness, therefore; let me enjoy what is.
Want to “waste your life”?
OK. But enjoy it. If you enjoy it, it cannot be a waste.
More misinterpretation coming through my left ear:
“ What!! So you are saying now that I should indulge in all sorts of pleasures to enjoy Life… rather than living an ascetic, God fearing Life style which will build my character…”
Discover enjoyment. Pleasure is part of enjoyment but it is not enjoyment. Full of beliefs as to what is “good” and saintly, we forget to feel what is, without any further wishes or thoughts about what this moment “should be.”
Our ability to enjoy the moment, to unwind, to relax is very limited in general.
We feel proud to talk about how “busy” we are. How may things we are “doing.”
Enjoyment is not related with being busy but in balance, in harmony. Enjoyment is a feeling of wonder, of appreciation and gratefulness of living the experience of Life.
One more thing, without enjoyment there cannot be love, for enjoyment entails an opening of that rigid and static “I” to assimilate and allow for Life to “do its thing.”
To discover enjoyment could be the greatest religion to join, the “true” God to worship and to obey, just to go to heaven “now,” and not in the “future.”
Nevertheless, the “I” in his static world of truths is unable to perceive that Life is change and that “I” am that change.
There is no “YOU” separated from Life. However in the consciousness of the “I” there is that separation.
It is “Me” and there is Life, 2 distinct things.
The “I” could fight against that imminent change but in the world of continuous changes there is no way to stop it. If Life changes so the “I.”
“But …why? I want to do what “I” want…”
“You” can, “do it.” But know that what you do will not change what you are.
Then get a big house, a boat, a pretty partner, a 6-figure job, etc.
Do things, get things.
Aren’t you happy yet? 🙂 How come?
Ahh! You don’t know how to enjoy those things. You are not enjoyment.
How can you change yourself into enjoyment?
By reading a book about what is enjoyment?
Allow it to happen. Open up.
If what “you” want does not materialize, that is part of Life as well.
Would you be sad, frustrated, angry if that happens?
That is because “YOU” are separated from Life.
Do you see that?
Wouldn’t it be nice if we truly accepted “what is”?
That is the starting point for serenity, tranquility, peace.
It is that acceptance what brings further change.
A rejection of “what is” will bring the permanence of that which we reject.
More misunderstanding coming through my right ear:
“So you are saying now to become a passive, soft guy. Everyone could walk all over you, is that your idea of accepting “what is”?
NO! Allow, “what is,” without trying to “do it.” It is not just a matter of acceptance.
“Oh! Now you are changing! You are just a confusing guy…”
Live it yourself. My words cannot explain what cannot be explained through words. It is a matter of consciousness.
“Right. Now you take the easy way out…”
When the waters of Life are stuck in that “I,” bad odor will appear as a result of being stagnant.
That odor is not bad either. Putrefaction of the “I” comes through that “bad odor.” We call it suffering.
Do you suffer?
How is it possible for enjoyment to come out then? How is it possible for love to be?
How is it possible for appreciation and gratefulness to arrive into your consciousness?
“When I feel it.”
That is it. No words needed to explain that.
“ I am breathing,” we say.
In fact, there is only breathing. The “I” is not doing a thing. Breathing just happens.
What makes it tick?
That is a question without an answer. It does not matter. It is an utterly meaningless question.
Do we see that?
I could come up with every single theory. I could come up with every single belief and every single concept to explain breathing, how it happens and how it begins… God could give you the “answer,” but still an “answer” is not what is important.
What is important?
That breathing exists. Acknowledge it. It is an experience. When we are aware of that experience, we could begin our “knowledge” about breathing.
Knowing its length, its depth, its relaxing properties, as well as how emotions appear when there is a lack of flowing movement in our breathing.
“Knowing” is Being it.
Then we could observe “our” stomach, lungs, thoughts, feelings and posture, become aware completely of that which we call “I.”
Isn’t that an amazing, divine being?
Are you in awe of experiencing a body through senses, thoughts, emotions and feelings through this human experience? Are you in elation when you recognize the “I”?
No? It is the same old thing to be aware of that stuff?
We take for granted what it is, a wonderful experience.
It is through this “falling in love with your divinity,” how there could be an appreciation of another. You are unique and so is that one.
It is through appreciation of that divinity how a magical source of inspiration appears.
Why is inspiration so important?
Because it drives our life. It teaches us without a willingness to teach. It is no longer about following to become someone. It is no longer about the greed to “have it,” to “be it” just to feel important.
Inspiration is the nutrition of the soul.
Look at the Ocean. Isn’t that a source of inspiration?
Isn’t that the moment when appreciation is born all by itself in a natural way?
That appreciation is necessary to relate with everything in Life.
“Being good” is no longer a moral duty or an obligation, because of a promise, a code of conduct or something external.
That inspiration is natural, subtle, gentle. There is no effort or learning required.
Become immerse in the stillness of the Ocean. That is called “contemplation.”
As our world of movement meets stillness, then stillness will appear, all by itself.
The mind used to moving from place to place, only needs to be united with the stillness of the Ocean to taste that sensation beyond the perception of an “I.”
It is at that point, when we meet Oneness.
“I am everything and everything is I.”
In that wonderful feeling we may need to peel off the language barrier, the “misunderstanding” which separates:
Let us take away the “I.”
“Am everything and everything is.”
It is in that nonsensical phrase, full of grammatical errors where we could find the deepest meaning of Life.
No need to look somewhere else.
Ananda is not sharing stuff out of his intellectual, analytical abilities. That is all theoretical stuff, everything depending on “critical thinking” skills.
We need to go through the experience to understand. We need to “pay our dues,” for that change of consciousness to happen, that change comes with inner openness, readiness, just as a mature fruit in a tree. The limit is made by our belief system whatever it may be. That belief system is another way the “I” has to survive.
A belief system is like a baby crib. It protects the baby while the baby “is” a baby.
Once the baby grows up, then the baby crib becomes a nuisance, a limit, an obstacle.
Teachings, teachers, beliefs are just “tools” which serve a purpose in our lives.
Take the tool, use it and then discard it. Move on. It is critical to have a sense of timing, for many times we may abandon the “tool” before we are ready due to some inner need; but when we abandon the “tool” at the right time, then there is no looking back.
We could understand that “past is past” and the person living “now” is not the one from before.
At that point, we acknowledge change in Life and with that we will move into a different experience.
To “be born” again is not a small thing. It is a total change, which cannot happen if we are still clinging to the past or past experiences.
That is how we could understand how absurd it is to be “worry” about the future. By all means work to get your 401K to make sure you have something when you turn to be a grandpa, but don’t stress it, do not make it a “life or death” situation, don’t be worried about being “ahead” of the game…
Every experience that you experience is exactly as it is needed for you to become one with your destiny.
Ehem…isn’t that predestination?
Only if there is an “I” speaking, thinking, trying to make sense. Otherwise, it is Life itself. At that point, we could trust life and then relax, unwind… enjoy the moment.
How could you enjoy Life if you need to “do” something all the time?
Beat the Smith’s. Get ahead. Go to heaven. Fear God… I mean, “Love” him.
At the end of the road, believe in anything you want, do whatever you want, find the purpose that you want… Still You will be looking for “something.” The “I” is insatiable.
It is all according of what it needs to be. We cannot separate from Life even if we believe to be separated. Living in separation, we may perceive life as hostile. Seeing the bird catching the fish to eat it, may be perceived as cruel, but…all of those are just experiences to experience, to live… which are not affecting the fact of our immortality.
“That is not a fact… It hasn’t been proved!”
That my friend, is something that you will need to find out for yourself. Your God cannot help you. Your 401K cannot help you neither your Life insurance. If you have not experienced it, the above is just another belief for you, which will not let you sleep at night for fear of going away, of dying or even for those who are ready to take their life away at any moment, it will be just a by product of not finding meaning in Life.
It is the “I” wanting to survive and giving up in desperation.
When the “I” changes into “no-I,” what you are, what you think you are, what you believe you are, has no longer meaning.
That is why, self –realization cannot be taught to the masses, it is not something to be learned by following a religious group, but something that happens when you are ready through the assimilation of Life experiences, ripe as a fruit and then Life will provide the “tools” for you to know.
Is that the ultimate? Is that the destination? 🙂
There is no destination. It is an ongoing ride through different neighborhoods, through different landscapes. It is all newness all the time.
“No-I” goes back to “I,” automatically. Just like day goes back to night.
There is no need to miss anything. It comes back without “doing” anything.
Knowing that, you can relax.
Enjoy the experiences, enjoy the ride… 🙂
Ananda enjoys going for a bike ride early in the morning by the Bay, as the birds awaken the daydreamers with their melodious self-made music.
Going out on a ride will be followed by coming back. That is self-evident. However, what happens in between is part of the newness that Life brings at every moment.
Ananda was riding his bike with the wind. Coming back, he was riding against the wind.
Both are experiences in Life, the completion of both experiences is what brings “insight” as “knowing” but never as the ultimate “truth for everyone” to follow. Everyone needs to ride their own bike and their experience may be different.
On the way out, it was an effortless ride. Although, it felt hot as the temperature went up. On the way back, it was an effort to pedal, but it was cooler and breezy.
Just like Life.
Today your grass may be greener but tomorrow it will not.
Both experiences are just that, experiences which in “reality” are just “One” experience. Going out and coming back is the trip of Life.
Ananda hasn’t said anything extraordinaire up to this point, but he had…. 🙂
“Going out was so easy. I was sweating like a pig, but it was nothing…. but, coming back… that was cruel man! I wanted to quit!”
It is called comparison.
Judgment is included in that as well as a teaching for humanity, that is …everyone else:
“Do not ride against the wind.”
Ananda stopped by the beach to go for a swim. He observed a pelican teaching him what balance is all about: There is a time for gliding and another for flapping. That harmonious combination gives that gracefulness in flying. Funny, the pelican didn’t say a word of wisdom in its teaching.
I could hear some human teachings:
“Don’t be lazy. Make effort all the time. Flap your wings until there is nothing left. Go against the wind or with it. It does not matter. If you look tired is not “good.” Always have a smiling face.”
“Don’t do a thing, man. Let everyone else do it for you. You need to learn how to use people to your advantage. There is always a sucker out there…”
The “black or white” mentality.
The pelican kept flying. You couldn’t see a smile in its face, but a sense of elegance, distinction and confidence.
The pelican does not know what those words; elegance, distinction and confidence mean. The pelican “is” all of that without knowing. Isn’t that paradoxical?
Shall we teach a monkey to “become that”?
If the monkey could observe. If the monkey could know by experience what harmony is, then perhaps the monkey will be ready to learn.
What about if we take the monkey to a school to learn all those things?
Information is not the “thing.”
“Scientific research has proven that 20% of white adult males between the ages of 30 and 45 years will not complain when riding against the wind. That is when riding on a wind of 8 mph coming from the East in a fairly cloudy day with 90% humidity.”
Now you “know.” Your experience may be different but a researcher knows best. 🙂
In Life, we will go out just to come back. If our mind rejects one side of the trip, we have created a duality.
“Going out is better. Always select it. It is heaven. God will be with you.”
For those experiencing coming back in their trip of Life there is “hope:”
“That suffering in pedaling will have a reward in heaven. Don’t stop. Keep moving until you cannot pedal an inch.”
Observe. Be in tune with those who are less intelligent than you. Those who have fewer degrees than you, those who do not have God in their side… those who do not think but who feel Life at every moment, that is those who “live in the now,” without knowing what in the heck that is.
A teacher appears everyday in Nature. When the student is ready to observe, the teacher appears.
How do you recognize the teacher?
There will not be any teachings for you.