The power of relaxation

When we live in the mind, we will rely on information.
Why do we do this?
Because we want to make sure that we are “right” when we encounter something that we don’t know about. 
For example, how many hours do we need to sleep at night?
What the expert says? What is the information? What can I google about it?
How much cardio exercise do we need to be lean? How many times a week do we need to have sex to be “normal”?
What are the right kind of foods to eat? What is the proper form to breathe? How do we meditate? 
All of those questions are only looking for informative answers, so the mind can be satisfied; but at the same time, it tells how much UNAWARENESS there is. We are disconnected with ourselves.
A what moment, to drink a bottle of soda became more important than to drink plain water? We are disconnected and heavily conditioned, but we thrive in being “right.” However it is not “being right” but just following the accepted information.

When to be “right” is the sole purpose of living Life, we cannot relax and without relaxation our mental health and physical well-being are at stake.

Relaxation is not something that we “learn.” It is something that we “fall into” like “falling in love.” There is no DOING, it happens as we provide or nourish the proper environment. Then, it happens. It is KNOWN.

For instance, to have a busy schedule of people to see and places to go, is in fashion. We need to have something to DO, even though it may be meaningless, still that will offer us a sense that we are part of things by escaping from ourselves.
One activity after another offers no room for relaxation.

In our society, we believe that to relax means to sit in front of the TV.
That will give the illusion of relaxation, because our minds can forget about the self and its problems to deal with Life.
That is not it.
Relaxation implies ample time to observe the self, to explore it and to BE comfortable with ourselves.
What are the benefits?
Conscious living. That is not a small thing!
We function much better when relaxed. Conscious movement is part of it, in this way we could avoid hurting ourselves.
When we are relaxed, we could deal with other people in a peaceful manner, because we ARE peaceful. That is without trying to be peaceful, without “practicing” peace.
Eating and sleeping have great benefits for the self, when we are relaxed.

The gist of sexuality resides in utmost relaxation: That gives the time and space to explore, to feel and to enjoy the sensations; which in turn will give more relaxation, what stops this from happening is our own mind full of conditioning.

A relaxed individual enjoys mental health.
Anyone wants to learn how to relax? Anyone wants to “practice” it?
That cannot be possible for relaxation is a state of BEING and it is not a 2 hour daily practice, although; try it at home, experience the “practice” then there is knowing.

But, how do we start? By DOING NOTHING.
That creates the space, the environment for SOMETHING to happen naturally: Relaxation.
For how long? When Can I go back to my busy life?
RELAX. Take it easy. The answers will come to you not through informative words, but through experience.

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On Celibacy

To take a glass of wine or beer once in a while, is not a problem. Someone in that experience will not need to know “Dry January.” Those who are lost in alcohol, will surely experience what “Dry January” is. An extreme brings another.
Same principle applies with sexuality and celibacy.

For most individuals, sex has 2 main functions: Reproduction and fun\pleasure. There are more functions in sexuality, only known/experienced by few.
Most men are unaware that their vitality is embodied in their semen. The importance of this vital energy will be seen as the individual ages.
Most individuals are incapable of regulating their excitement and need to ejaculate. Due to the “macho”/”stud” conditioning, many men are depleted of their sexual energy, then; when they reach their 40-50- 60s they lack vitality.
What was the solution for this problem?
Nowadays, it is a “blue pill” which will take the person into further depletion or in other terms: it will submerge the person into greater vitality debt.
Before the “blue pill,” there was the natural means: Celibacy.

It was thought that by “not doing it,” a person will lose interest. Religions tried to sublimate the sexual urge by “purifying” a relationship through love of God or condemning sexuality and the “pleasures of the flesh.”
However, there cannot be celibacy when the individual is repressing and denying his own sexuality.

Celibacy is not repression. However, celibacy could be used as medicine to restore the vitality of an individual. When an individual is running in deficit, celibacy is not a repression, but a needed “practice.”
Some individuals believe that celibacy is only to abstain from sexual relationship with another; however, it is as well to abstain sex with yourself.

Nevertheless, the important factor is for the man to maintain its semen as much as possible, and not to abstain from human touch, feelings and pleasure.

It is easier to maintain a “black or white” posture: No sex, no touch, no pleasure and to disseminate the message that this “practice” is “spiritual.” However, most; at least 99% of individuals will repress to comply with this “spirituality.”

Since the above may be too restrictive; sex, touch and pleasure were allowed by some religious/ spiritual systems; but not ejaculation at all.
What was the outcome? Utter pressure. Sex was no longer enjoyable as someone has to “watch” for the moment of “no return.” Then guilt sets in, for that “failure” and the consequences of it.

The “reality” of human sexuality is that we cannot put all human beings in the same basket. We are all different and those differences will change in time: A 60-year-old is very different than a 20-year-old. A society will teach them to comply with some belief or some moral ideal, but the teaching does not cover to be AWARE of ourselves.

If a human was AWARE of himself, he will know to walk the “middle way” and to put himself in that path as Life turns into different streets. That “middle way” is never the same; nevertheless; it is the natural way. Most are prey of social/peer pressure, collective beliefs and nonsensical traditions which endanger their own well-being. That is the path of extremes.

Celibacy is as good and necessary as Sex is. They can complement each other. It all depends in timing, setting and circumstances.  The keyword is “Balance.” To “practice celibacy” means for a limited time. Typically, we don’t “practice” sex.  Naturally, we ARE sexual beings, but according to who WE ARE, we could manifest love and care through sex, OR lust and violence.
When celibacy is natural, it is no longer celibacy. Anything “practiced” with repression, will NEVER be natural.
Semen is Life. Through that we give Life to another. Your Life, your vitality depends on keeping that energy.

How many times a month shall I ejaculate?
You are missing the point. Discover what works for you. Be sensible, aware of what your body tells you. Change when there is a need.  Forget about the “scientific research,” of what should be “normal.” Feel the balance. What is natural does not rely on numbers and formulas.
Sex and celibacy are the complete human sexual experience. They are ONE.

Question: How do I know what is best for ME?

I really enjoy reading your articles. I want you to shed more light upon being open to life. I have grown a lot in the last few years but I still feel that I get stuck in situations and that one thing which I find hard to get out of. If I am in a situation, and I am confused, thinking takes over and it’s hard to get out of it. It’s hard for me to take a decision. But I also don’t want to give up on this whole process of taking any decision and just live with what is. Then I say, but I want this ! As a result, I don’t find myself living fully and I find myself caught in this mental web. This in turn impacts my life, my energy. How to come out of this and gain more clarity, focus and know what I really want and live my life accordingly ? How do I see and know what is best ?! Is it that what I have is best for me or should I go according to my desires and wishes?
Thanks a lot for this blog !

Thank you for your question.
Notice the entanglement of the “I.”
I am stuck. I want this. I want to make sure, it is “right” for ME. I want to make a decision. I want you to explain to me

As long as that knot of “I-ness” is within you, there is no chance to see the knot. How do you see it? By keeping a distance…

Because you like this blog, today I will share with you, one of the valuable “secrets” of the masters…
Here it goes: “You can get what you want in Life, by changing course…. If the path you walk always lead to yourself, you’ll never get anywhere.” (Kung Fu Panda – “Secrets of the Masters” 2011 movie.)

That was the concise answer to your question.

Now let me add the “fluff” for there may be an expectation to write more stuff.
There is no formula to get rich, famous and beautiful. This is Life; not the “office world” mentality of getting what “I want in Life.” For that, we have other “secrets” that people are willing to buy; but even though they applied those “secrets” to their own lives, they are still looking for something more permanent to “achieve.” That is how all the religious stuff became fashionable (eternal achievement) and to make it more palatable for the masses, it was renamed as “spirituality,” but it may be another business venture indeed.
It is important to grow up from that mentality.

Life is not there to protect your  personal “interest.” Life has its own course for every individual. It is magically threaded in a web of occurrences (serendipity is the label in fashion) for our idea of individuality is only one part of what is.
We are individuals but we are not. The mind cannot understand that to make a sound “decision.”

There are many ways to “make decisions” in Life. Thinking is just one of them. It may use reasoning, logic, previous experiences. It touches the most superficial layer. Wishes, desires are other options. Throwing dices is another, and I may add, as effective as any of the former. I like my gut feeling.

It works something like this: I go to a restaurant and I feel that the mushrooms are not ok to eat. I just leave them. My friend asks: WHY don’t you eat your mushrooms? I answer: Because  a little bird told me not to do it.  Then, I go to the market and see organic, all natural, 100% “pure” apple juice. The bottles are made of glass so I can see the contents. The color of apple juice differs from a clear one to a darker one. Which one is good for ME? I get the bottles close to my gut and feel for a response. There is no voice speaking to me. I have to feel my gut.
Sometimes apple juice is sweet, others not a sweet, few times it is almost like apple cider. If I thought that apple juice has to be sweet to be good for ME, that is pure conditioning.
Heck, I may take a glass of the apple cider thing before I return it. Who knows, that was “good” for ME?

And here it comes another “Secret of the Masters.”

By helping ME (going out of your circular path)  you help YOURSELF.

So, is there such a thing as “helping others”? That is only “ego support 101.”
But… if you think that this is a formula to be “successful in Life,” and apply it to be rich, famous and beautiful… I assure you that there is no better way to get to hell, faster and risk-free,  guaranteed…. 🙂

That is enough writing before misunderstanding appears.

The problem of “Reality.”

Our mindset pursues what it believes to be the “truth,” what is “real” according to conditioning.
Some type of human consciousness are self-righteous and have narrow perceptions, which they call “truth,” reality: “what is real is what exists, what exists is what I can perceive with my 5 senses.” Easy enough to make that “truth” into a commandment.

Our society and collective consciousness are in agreement with that, for the majority of people have 5 senses working somewhat in a similar way.
All is “good” until scientists “discover” that what we perceive is not necessarily what is “real.”

At that point, we may ask ourselves, what is “reality”? 🙂

That question in fact, synthesizes the main problem with our vision and understanding of Life.

The issue is not to concentrate our efforts in discovering what is “real” out there. The main issue is to understand ourselves and the way we perceive Life. Our perception of it.
In short, Life can be perceived in many different ways according to our consciousness. 

For example, imagine that all people in the world were born blind. They never perceived light through their eyes. Certainly, we could have built a “normal” society made for blind people. Other senses rather than vision could have taken precedence.
To speak about colors, rainbows, clouds, etc. in that world of blindness, will not make any sense. If someone speaks about being able to see light, that one could be crucified or labeled as “crazy.” That gift of vision may be a curse in disguise, for “normal” people will not be able to understand.

Thus, greater ability to perceive means an expanded vision of reality.
Our “standard” is the way of perception of the collective consciousness in society, but that perception is far from what could be labeled as “real.”

When we place our energy in understanding our own perceptions, rather than in using the convenient labels of “right, wrong, true, false, bad and good,” then any sort of judgment is out. Certainly we may need to act as our society dictates.
If someone harms another, there are laws. There are consequences, but judgment is a human invention that we have added into the personality of our beloved Gods.

Compassion arrives when we understand that there are many ways to perceive/experience Life. A particular way followed by someone may be condemned by the laws of our society and labeled as “bad,” but we know it is only a perception. That openness will free us with further understanding which will reflect in a peaceful disposition.

Moral talk says: “We must be peaceful, loving, etc.” but as our barriers of perceptions open up allowing us to have a greater vision of the valley of Life; that moral wishy, washy talk; will not be needed.
BEING peaceful is not morality. It is not to obey a law or a commandment. Those DOINGS are fake behaviors.

The “reality” of compassion and love is in extent of the openness of our consciousness, and not the openness of our mouths.

The Spirituality of Human Sexuality

When individuals are trapped in the physicality of sex, the need to get rid of the sexual energy through 5 minutes of pleasure will be prevalent. For many, it is no longer enjoyable, but something that needs to be done to get back to “normal” life.
That “solution” may bring frustration as sexual energy tends to regenerate.
Others, may have a good amount of that sexual energy specially when young, nevertheless; their search for physical pleasure will unavoidably take that person in sexual energy “debt” in their older years. There will be lack of vitality.

Human sexuality as portrayed by pornography, typically shows aggression between partners. It is the frantic search for a solo pleasure even while with a partner. Violence is part of the setup, as it is to hit, grab and use abusive language towards a partner.  It is a sweaty fight, where man and woman get out empty handed, for their vitality is lessened. In that consciousness, that performance is usually labeled as “great sex.”

At that level of human sexuality, there is no awareness of the subtle energies which are created during the sexual act.
The excitement of the body/mind is concerned in reaching a peak quickly, which is known as orgasm, without giving the opportunity for the subtle energies to settle their presence, and to become conscious of it.

There is no human behavior that shows best how we truly ARE,  as human sexuality. There is no way to fake that, even while using “techniques.”

Even though so called “tantric practices” concentrate on “techniques” for the practitioners, the outcome is usually a phony event. That is no surprise as much “spirituality” is about faking the “now”: The goal is to BECOME in the “future” someone who we ARE not, some IDEAL. No guarantees. A technique will not do the trick.

Showing utmost respect and love of the sacredness of a partner is not something to fake by following the practices of a book, video or “master class.”
To be able to feel totally comfortable with ourselves and with another so the sexual embrace will be a slow dance, united by being overtaken by blissful energies which are building up through utmost relaxation… That is enlivening. That is a way to recuperate vitality. 

I want some of that! How do I get it? What do I have to “practice”?

It is the process of refining BEING. It has nothing to do with sexual practices or techniques. Those techniques ARE, for those who ARE not.
Refining BEING from the gross to subtle is Tantra.
Self Love, enjoyment of sensuality, ability to surrender to the moment, awareness of sexual energies building feelings of love… All of that does not come through a book or a class.
Deconditioning of fear based attitudes and mental blockages through beliefs are part of the “work.” AWARENESS of inner feelings over mental conditioning.

Sexuality is only the outcome, the consequence of that “work.”

DOING, acting, performing what we ARE NOT, is the basis of inner dishonesty. Our whole mentality as society is based on that. We have forgotten to acknowledge BEING, but eventually, it catches up with us. That is when a seeker is interested in finding the TRUTH of Life, but unless his own inner dishonesty is faced first, there is no chance.

The TRUTH has been always within us. Human sexuality is only a manifestation of that truth.

Learning from the shoe box of experiences

In the “office world,” we learn through books, classes, second hand “authoritative” teachings… We believe that those “teachings” are true. We label them as “truth” and want for others to follow them to support our desire to be “right” in Life. We presume that we have the “right answer,” we make our “morality” on those assumptions. We may believe that “God is with us,” and that we are part of his “chosen people,” ready for Paradise and everlasting Life …

Those “teachings” for whatever holy they may be, cannot match the uncertainties and ever changing possibilities in Life. What is “real” cannot be relegated into a shoe box full of code of conduct, commandments and laws.

Have we observed that in Nature? Have we observed that in Life?

In Nature/Life, morality does not exist. In the “office world” it exists as a façade for an ulterior purpose: Whether that is to gain heaven, to support our belief to be “special” or “rightful” among the rest or some other “reason.”
In Nature/Life, questions do not exist. Humans prisoners of their own minds, have twisted good old curiosity into the frenzy of asking “why?” out of everything, as if an intellectual verbal answer is enough.
Curiosity does not ask “why.” Curiosity observes with appreciation the uniqueness of Life. It is through that acknowledgement how everything is answered without asking a single question; for every answer comes at the right time. It is the knowing of learning through our own experiences.

Humans have coined the phrase: “Learn from your own mistakes.” That is insane.
When we separate our experiences in Life between “mistakes” and what is “right,” we forsake the opportunity to live fully in Life in exchange of some comfortable fear, designed to live within the boundaries of the shoe box offered by our society through our conditioned mind.

That is how we come up with the popular “Do’s and Don’ts.” We preserve those by enforcing them into the younger generations, effectively narrowing down the shoe box for others. At the end, it is about preserving what we discovered to be “right or wrong,” that is how the “I” of many dead people from many centuries ago, still live among us. We call that “traditions.”

Learn from your experiences. That learning only applies to your own path. However, what is to share to all, is to BE the type of person that is ever curious to discover Life, beyond the shoe box.

That type of invaluable teaching cannot be put into words or a “master class.” That “teaching” spreads through the winds of warm human relationships.
Nothing to teach, nothing to say. Just BE.

Those winds of relationship, have the potential of turning into Hurricanes and positively affecting many, without a business plan, special funding or a proselytizing effort.

What is natural is “good.” What is “good” is what IS.

It is not a matter of “choice.”

What is intuitive, observable, conditioning aside; is very hard to put in words. When I share something in this blog, is not a “teaching.”
Teachers charge for their “knowledge.” Their “knowledge” is second hand, acquired through someone, a system a religion, etc. They teach that, which is easy to assimilate by the masses.
Ahnanda is aware that whatever comes through him, is not “his.” Ahnanda did not make “effort” or “studied with the top masters” or has a library of “spiritual books” to get what he shares. It is not “my choice” to think “spiritual” things, make a plan for an article and write. It just happens.

When I express that opposites are truly inseparable. That gets misunderstood easily. Most will try to make sense with their heads rather than observing their experiences.
A reader wrote:  “…it is actually a very simple thing that the “Good” and “Bad”, “Right” and “Wrong”, “Higher” and “Lower”, both things exist together in one single system, they are inseparable. But this is making me think you know that if I don’t want the bad part, I will actually have to renounce wanting the good part as well…”

Observe the confusion. This is not a matter of “choice.” Someone will experience only what he needs to experience in Life, but the labels to describe the experiences become his world rather than the experience itself.
If I experience “cold” it is because I know what “hot” is. If I say “I don’t want to experience hot, thus I need to renounce cold, for both go together in a system.” That is experientially senseless, although intellectually it may make sense.

Let me clarify: Pain and Pleasure are polarities of the same experience. It is the same experience in movement, that is why one side will bring the other.

Life is not an intellectual game. The problem with lack of fulfillment in life that most humans experience; is that their whole life is in the head, the mind.

Hurricane “Irma” IS. There is the assumption that it could hit Florida – USA in a couple of days. Observe how futile is the human drive for certainty: In Nature, there is no “extrapolation of past events to forecast the future.” Observe how the news and some business are thriving unexpectedly out of this incident. The hype is there. The talk that “ Irma could go this way or that way” bring lots of “experts.” The population grows with fear: “What to do? Do I leave and go someplace “safe” or do I stay?” That is the gamble.
People don’t want to make a mistake and spend money unnecessarily. They live in their heads. Their “choice” is giving them a headache. They want to be “right.”

That is the world of the mind, the head. All the information disseminated through the media only increases panic, in the name of safety.

Listen to your gut feeling and go with it. You will be at peace. Just make sure it is your gut feeling and not your mind.
End of report.
“But… but.. what about if I am “wrong”?”
A gut feeling doesn’t work that way. Have we noticed that?
In Life there is no such a thing as being “right or wrong.” That is a human invention that only works in the “office world.” When we deal with Nature, with the forces of Life itself, those mental standards are worth absolutely nothing.
Life is about experiences. Some will experience a hurricane, others will not. There is no right or wrong. Is a hurricane good or bad? 🙂 It just IS. If it IS, it has a “reason” to BE.
If we label a hurricane as “bad,” then we will have a “bad” experience and the “good” experience of not having a hurricane, may have yet another type of “bad” experience. We are caught up with senseless labels.

Nature is unpredictable, just like Life, just like a gut feeling.
Life and death go together. They are not separate.
A “choice” is not a choice, when there is togetherness.