What is awareness?

It is not a concept. It is not something to be defined. It is transcending through acceptance. This acceptance is not intellectual. It is openness.
I will attempt to describe it.

Peter was driving his car when, someone cut him off.
Anger was the immediate response: He waved the finger and screamed the F word. As a consequence, he wasn’t paying attention and he almost hit the car in the adjacent lane.

Peter wasn’t AWARE of how anger became him in a few moments.

In retrospect, Peter wasn’t AWARE of the repercussion of a car passing in front of him. The car did not do any harm to Peter. Peter only slowed down a bit for couple of seconds. Reality was that the driver was in a hurry to get to the hospital, as her daughter was about to die.

Peter interpreted the driver’s action as “mean and unthoughtful,” but deep inside he had his ego to protect: How you dare to cut ME off? I am right!
That was the real “reason” of Peter’s reaction.

During the brief seconds of this road rage, Peter was not AWARE of the different personalities inside him. He was divided.
Surprise,  was one emotional personality showing up, followed by fear of being hit, and then a sense of not being respected. Out of the 3 different personalities, Peter identified with the last one: Not being respected. That “button” when pushed, triggered anger. If he had identified with the other 2 emotions, his response would have been different.

Peter had the possibility to identify with 3 personalities in such a small amount of time or not to identify at all. This is not a “choice” it is a natural process which only manifests who we ARE. 
The sense of not being respected is a “big button” in Peter. Anger is the manifestation of that button being pushed.

As Peter, most individuals have different personalities, different centers “driving” our reactions.

In the “office world” we have been conditioned with rudimentary “spirituality”. This is known as “Emotional intelligence”.
Become aware of the energy of anger, so you can stop it; it is said.
At the thought level, that makes “sense”. In reality, it is detrimental for repressed anger will explode at a later time.

The answer is in the “button to be pushed”. If Peter did not interpret someone cutting him off as “lack of respect,” then the latent energy of anger couldn’t have any way to manifest for lack of identification.

Thus, as the “buttons to be pushed” are cleared from the self, observation becomes impersonal as well as awareness. It is not “I” being aware, but there is awareness of the “inside” and “outside”.

Lesser “I” means greater awareness, greater observation, greater detachment from the scene; for it is the “I” identifying with some belief, some ideal, some taboo which will manifest a reactive energy of defense.

I have “analyzed” a sample of the process of anger. Someone who observed this in himself, wouldn’t need these many words to know.

Therefore, AWARENESS merely observes depending on the size of the “I”. A “big I” does not have the capacity for awareness, for identification will be there. That “I” becomes “someone” through identification.
When there is a “smaller I”, there is greater capacity for awareness as the opportunity to identify with a particular energy diminishes.

Peter will learn to repress anger through this experience. He needs to be careful. “He” needs to control his anger. Emotional intelligence or any superficial “spirituality” may give him “tools” to conquer anger. Peter may believe that “he is making progress for he is less angry than before.” In reality, he is repressing more due to his fear of anger.

Once he is AWARE of that, Peter will be ready to know about the inner buttons pushed by the circumstances of Life. That will be the beginning of a healthy acceptance of his own anger.
To transcend we need to learn to accept. 🙂

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