Friendship

One of Life sweetest pleasures is to share with your friends the immense freedom of being just “you.”

As a seeker, I am discovering the full circle of Life. In my experience, it was about going outside for validation, for love, for acceptance just to come back to myself, to feel comfortable in my own skin, in my own company… that “getting used to” could take many years. It is a process.

When we reach the “comfortable” level, that is the time when Life will prompt us to move on, to go “outside the shell” for a “new beginning.” That is the time to integrate with the Totality under a new “me.”

When Life gives us “idle time” with ourselves, it is to recuperate, unwind, gather strength and face what is left, to complete that full circle.

Many times, we will find friendship in some who remind us of ourselves. We could see many characteristics that we have in common. That brings a comfortable, nurturing friendship.
That reminds me of the saying: “Tell me who your friends are and I ‘ll tell you who you are.”

Nevertheless, many times we forget that friends are those who show us who we truly are, and accept us as we are.
Want a teacher?
There you have it, in flesh, near you !

Have you seen Ralph E. Wolf and Sam Sheepdog from “Looney Tunes” cartoons?
They have opposite interests, they will disagree, fight and try to outwit each other while in “office hours,” but once they “punch out” the clock, they are friends again as if nothing happened before.
Most humans keep the past inside them, some as a reminder of a “payback time,” and others as a “danger” signal to reject something or someone, thus; unknowingly allowing for a traumatic experience, which will become a deep emotion in need of healing, later on.

What is that “punch out of the clock” in a friendship?

The ability to say, and feel: “I am sorry.”
It is not just lip service, but the connection with a person will be maintained in the capacity that we have to feel appreciation for that person despite differences.
Is he/she pushing all your buttons? Is he/she “mirroring” you and that is exactly what you do not like about them?

For the aware individual, that is an excellent “teacher”!

If your Life journey is dedicated on knowing yourself, who could be the most adequate person to partner with in Life?

The opposite of yourself, of course.
The sheepdog with the wolf makes a great Life long partnership as long as there is a common time to “punch out” of the clock.

“But why? They will be fighting all along!”
That may be true. That is why it was said, “for those who are in the journey of knowing themselves.”

The opposites are complements.
One with yourself, you could be one with another who is the opposite.

“Wouldn’t that be a great challenge?”
Yes, but it also has a great reward.
“What is that?”
To find love.

Love the ones who are like you but also the ones who are the opposite. Isn’t that a religious teaching? Yes, and without the experience in “real” Life, it is just a meaningless dogma.

Every single relationship, every single friendship has been planned out just for you! Whether a “good” experience or a “bad” experience, it is exactly what you need in your current stage.
We are going in a full circle in Life, so there is no objective to reach, but just to enjoy the unique moment as it is.

Perhaps, do we want an easy “method” to “achieve” friendship?
Here are the “steps:”
1) Listen
2) Show empathy
3) Say I am sorry.
Do you like that? Want to teach that to others?
No rush.The above is completely useless! 🙂

You can only act as you are. To believe that by changing your behavior you will “achieve” something is truly an illusion. Repetition of a script will only dull your feelings.
Nevertheless, to go through that illusion is “good” for it is part of your journey which is pointing to no other place… but yourself.

I have learned in Life that out of all the possible relationships that one could experience, friendship is the most flexible, adaptable and capable of allowing us to be true to ourselves.
Freedom in friendship. The bond of a friendship is what is needed in all other relationships, for even if the other relationships dissolve, friendship will remain.
Friendship is the epitome of a relationship.

If we could only perceive the “other” as a friend…

A sense of belonging is so important for our well being, but there are few things that we could belong to, without being asked for something in return.

When you find friends that accept you without conditions, without rules and restrictions… value that time, be grateful to Life because you found an invaluable treasure … 🙂

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