“Intense” is the word used to denote the “highs and the lows.”
How do you know that you are in an intense relationship?
Look at the mirror. You may see a shadow of your former self.
Your vibes will be low. Your anxiety high.
The intensity of going from one extreme into another becomes an addiction as when a drug addict has anxiety towards his “fix.” That period of anxiety is the price to pay for getting the “high.”
Is it worth to get that high?
For an addict it is. For a person without the addiction, it will be a moment to enjoy and to let go.
What is the intense relationship setting showing us?
The need to feel loved. Typically someone in an intense relationship has their self-esteem and image depending on what others “make them feel.” They will become trapped in the sensations that will satiate their inner void.
That sensation, they will call love or to fall in love; nevertheless, love is away from them for there is no love in dependency, in need.
A partner acting as a trigger allows for the intensity to outburst. That emotional intensity is inside the person experiencing an intense relationship.
Intense relationships are known for bringing the duality of pleasure and pain to the outmost.
Many emotions will be felt in such a relationship: Fear, control, anxiety, breaking down with impotence of not being able to “fix things.” Likewise; tenderness, pleasure, closeness…but not in day to day living but in moments.
A physical or emotional disease is the outcome.
Intense relationships are not “bad.”
They will show us our limits and our vulnerabilities.
To continue in such a relationship in the name of “love,” is like pulling the trigger of a pistol pointing at our heads, in the name of “peace.”
What is the solution?
It is embodied in a name. It is called “Courage.”
Just like an addict needs courage to step out of the addiction, a person living an intense relationship will need the courage to get out, to cut that thread which is self destructive.
Just look at the mirror.
That takes will power. That takes guts and self-respect.
Life may bring help, but the choice to get out of that situation is completely ours.
Courage is not something that we could ask someone to have for us.
Courage is the energy that needs to flow from our beings and our hearts to step out from the ditch that we have digged with our need to be loved. The lover arrived but the lover wasn’t loving… but we took it anyway.
Self-respect is the first step towards knowing love.