“Helping others” is not at simple as we may imagine.
There are no “others” when we are aware of our interdependence.
When we perceive that the world is a mirror of that “me,” which will show me “who I am” without any need of using fancy definitions or beliefs, then perhaps the realization that “helping myself” as the first step in “helping others” will be evident.
“Helping myself” could be easily misunderstood. It is not about “building the self” but it is related with dissolving it. That means, to empty the mind. Flowing in life, means to connect with life. That connection is non analytical. There are no “pros” or “cons” to be weighed for action.
Someone may say that “he likes to take action” and “do something about an issue to help resolve it.”
Without “helping ourselves first” all we will “do” is what “we think is right.” Our beliefs will be displayed, hidden under the “holy keywords” known by all: “This is the truth; “ “This is what is right,” “This is justice,” etc.
For example: If we perceive the world as being ugly, bad, and rotten, it needs to be changed; etc. that perception is merely speaking about us. The “mirror” is working at that time.
If we look deeply inside ourselves, we may find a rejection inside us which is prompting for “action.” That rejection, is the intention behind our willingness to change something into what we perceive as “good.”
There cannot be any “good” done when our perception and intention are coming from rejection of that which we “want to change.”
Acceptance of things as “they are” is the first step, and that step goes along with a change in our perception. That is to “help yourself.”
That change is not intellectual, it is not something to make myself believe.
Our attitude may need to embrace openness, acceptance. Judgments need to go away.
We cannot “help others” when we are being separated “from them” through an idea in our minds.
A Christian cannot help a Buddhist. A German cannot help a British. If they “help,” they only build their ego-mind.
Someone who builds many temples to “help others” is residing in the egotistical mind.
Because he is separating himself from the “others.”
We need to be “them” so that change is not coming from an egotistical mind.
Paradoxically, by being them, there is no “helping others.”
Otherwise, we will “act” by emotional reaction. So “we feel good” about ourselves.
Nothing wrong with that; however, that cannot be called “helping others.”
Life is a journey. This life is a chapter of that journey. The journey continues on. Every journey is its own destination.
Arthur is a good friend of Ananda. Arthur is very sick due to eating without awareness, by not listening to his body.
Arthur told Ananda that he felt miserable because he wasn’t able to eat for the last 3 days. Arthur didn’t ask for help. He is a very proud individual.
Ananda felt Arthur’s sorrow and asked his friend Mathias, the wise tree; for a medicine for Arthur.
Ananda wanted to help Arthur….
Isn’t he a nice guy? 🙂
Mathias the wise tree responded:
“If you help him, how is Arthur going to learn? Arthur has his own journey and this disease is part of that.
Observe how Arthur’s situation is affecting you.
In life, situations will happen as triggers which will only teach the “life walker” to see his own reactions. Keep your joy and send him generous wishes.”
Ananda understood the words of Mathias, but he had a question.
“Mathias, how do I know when it is time to help and when it is not?”
“Observe your intention and rely in your intuition, but also know that unless someone asks for help, you may be interfering with his life.
Everyone has his own journey and his own timing.”
Note that “learning in life” as Arthur will do, could be viewed under another consciousness as having “bad karma.”
It will go something like this: “You are being punished by having that disease due to your bad actions. God is punishing you. You need to settle your karma and create good karma.”
That long sentence only brings fear to experience life, it infuses guilt and changes the perception of life into a dangerous game.
Life itself is the teacher for the individual who is aware.
A fruit in a tree is not ripe all the time. That fruit has a journey, a timing in which that fruit will change. The art of recognizing that change and the most appropriate time for that fruit to be eaten has no “rule of thumb” to follow. Every fruit has a different timing, we just need to observe, experience and respect that timing.
To “help others” is not a matter of “doing things” for the sake of changing someone or a circumstance according to what we “think” is right. That is just another egotistical action.
Timing is important, and to learn to wait for the “fruit to be mature enough” could be the greatest act of respect for another being’s development in life.