In the world there is this idea that self-control is about repressing something. For instance, if someone wants to drink wine, we usually tell that person: “You need to have self-control not to drink.”
Self- control is usually about going over the “temptations” in life, for the sake of feeling beyond our “normal” wants and desires.
The word “temptation” is truly a misleading word. All of the sudden, to drink wine becomes a “temptation,” something “negative,” something which we must resist… 🙂
In fact, the problem is not wine, but it is our own “whining” 🙂 our mind-set and lack of “self-control” to behave in a non-damaging way.
The world of duality is the one that we live in. There is every object, every situation, every thing which could be easily put in convenient opposite labels. The most common: “good and bad.”
Please see how our mind is set up to believe in things as merely representing one side of the spectrum: They are either in the light or in darkness. Our beliefs then, can make a religious ideal, a dogma or way of living based on a static idea of something, which is continually changing in time.
Wine is neither bad nor good. It could be useful in some occasions and not useful in others. It all depends on our circumstances, our state of consciousness and our own openness to see things beyond a defining label.
If someone is an addict of drinking wine, obviously the issue is not “wine” itself but the issue is with a personality, but to extend that personality to all people, that is; to assume and place everyone under the same label… is a very costly but comfortable assumption.
When we observe the movement of life and duality, we could see that there will be things bringing pleasure and pain. Many times we reject one side and try to get a hold of the other, not realizing that things will change by themselves. The day changes into a night without our help, without our judgment, without considering our beliefs.
Nevertheless, enjoyment of the Moon happens at night. Enjoyment of the Sun, is in the day. To be in the day longing for the Moon to appear … That is the issue of many!
To call the day “bad” because there is no Moon there, is to reject what is there and to live without fullness.
Self control then is that art to move according to time and circumstances, to flow with life without having a mental label or script to determine how our life should be lived.
Self control is about knowing the right time for everything since nothing remains the same. When we act with self control there is neither rejection nor indulgence. There is enjoyment at every step for living is not a thought, it is not a static idea of how things should be, but rather is a flow, a dance where the steps in dancing are not the same for all tunes.
In this way our mental structures will collapse, they will not be able to construct a being which is constrained by ideas and beliefs; but rather a human being in tune with the totality, with the wisdom of knowing the timings in life…
There is time to live, there is a time to die. A time to smile, and a time to cry…There is a time to enjoy and… to keep enjoying…the movements, the seasons of life. 🙂