As we are used to reacting to things in automatic “pilot,” we are missing the opportunity to check the way we interact with the “outside” world which will have a return in the “inside.”
Let us say that Chad is a belligerent employee. His supervisor, Tim; acts in a very professional manner. Tim tries to reason with Chad. Tim does not act “bossy” with his subordinate because Tim is aware of the repercussions in his job.
Nevertheless, that “performance” of Tim to “look professional” has its own return.
Tim feels rejection towards Chad’s behavior. Tim is “sick and tired” of Chad’s attitude. Tim is building a case to dismiss Chad, but in the meantime he feels that there is a lot to put up with.
The performance of being a “professional” is eating up the insides of Tim. If it wasn’t because of the work setting, Tim would tell Chad many things that he is currently repressing.
This “venom” is creating havoc in Tim’s health.
If Tim could realize that this interaction is just a “game” in the workplace, Tim could then realize that Chad has personally nothing against him. It is all about the position that Tim represents to Chad in the organization. The hierarchy.
To act as a ”professional” is “good,” but that external action needs to go with “feeling like a professional.” If Tim only acts but does not feel, then that contradiction within will create issues in his well being.
This is the importance of observation. Many times our activities “look” in one way, but the feelings behind it demonstrate a different ideal; then our thoughts will be inconsistent: Tim was very “professional” in telling his own supervisor that he didn’t have anything against Chad; but when Tim went home…. His wife was his “wastebasket” for all the things that Tim’s anger wanted to express but couldn’t.
The above behavior could be labeled as “normal,” but truly it is the behavior of someone who is not consistent in his words, feelings and deeds. That person is being “irrational.”
A crazy individual. 🙂
When our activities are aligned with our feelings and thinking, then in that congruence we could feel at ease, light and at peace.
If Tim decided to respond back to his subordinate and let loose all of his repressed emotions, then; that action will have a reaction.
Chad may respond aggressively. If Chad does not; then Chad will repress that energy in that moment and look for a way to express it.
Tim may not be the person to get the initial response, but sooner or later he will, for his action will come back to him.
That is the law in life. That is why we cannot pretend to be “good;” we need to “be it.”