Ananda was troubled. His thoughts were heavy. He had been thinking about this person nonstop for many months now. Ananda was “bewitched” by her sweet ways. The way she expressed herself. Her looks. Her voice. Her sweet inner self. Everything!
A thought came and then a feeling made that thought stronger. It was an emotion.
Ananda felt “alive,” out of the routine.
That emotion became a dependency after a few weeks. Ananda was daydreaming about her. He was making “romantic gateways” in his mind. Ananda was feeling good . He thought that she also liked him. He was waiting for the “right moment,” to let her know; but he was enjoying the sensation now as it was.
A few days later, Ananda found out something about her. Something that he didn’t expect, which changed the impeccable vision he had of her: He thought she was very special! 🙂
Ananda couldn’t believe it. His “castle of thoughts” collapsed. A thought came, then he felt this energy by his heart. It was an emotion wanting to come out. That emotion invaded his being and due to his strong feelings; Ananda started to cry…. Ananda’s day changed from a sunny morning into the darkest horror story.
But then a few hour later, Ananda had more information about this person. It was good news! What he thought before wasn’t 100% accurate. But only 75%! Ananda saw how the night changed into the daylight in his life….one more time, he was a “happy go lucky” guy. The smile was in his lips again, “because of her.”
In the “normal” world that is what is known as “falling in love.”
The above story could be changed in many ways. The main topic to perceive is how we become emotionally dependent on someone or something. We give our happiness into the hands of someone.
As long as we are dependent on something outside ourselves, our well being will fluctuate.
That dependency can manifest itself in many ways; the underlying factor is that our thoughts are “crying” for that “high.”
When our minds dictate our mood, we will be lost in the unsettled world of thought and emotions.
Ananda went to the nearest park early in the morning. That park had a Lake and the Sun was just starting to come out. As Ananda looked at the lake, he perceived that his thoughts and emotions as the ripples in the lake. More emotions, more ripples. With so many ripples going on, Ananda wasn’t able to look at the reflection of himself in that lake. He couldn’t know himself with too much inner turbulence.
To see that reflection in that lake, would have been a pathetic picture of an otherwise decent looking guy, with the saddest expression in his face.
All the trouble was in his own mind. A belief.
Ananda looked at the lake, sitting there without thinking about anything in particular. His mind was taken by just looking at the dance of ripples under the Sunlight of the new day. Then, he perceived a new sensation: The beauty of something inside him like a presence or a “stable being,” not watching anything; just being there. It felt like a strong support coming from inside. As a matter of fact, that “being” was taking over the whole scene of the lake , the sun and Ananda; so there were not 3 things but one going and slowly dissolving into none. Nothing but awareness.
As soon as Ananda realized of this, then his thoughts started to come out again as an everlasting thread of senseless pictures.
Ananda realized that as long as he was aware of this inner being, his thoughts wouldn’t bother him. Greater awareness, less thoughts.
Most important, Ananda was able to feel for the first time the meaning of SERENITY, without going to the dictionary to look up that word and try to act it because of hearing that to “be serene” is “good.”
In that serenity, the ripples of his mind subdue. In that serenity the bothersome pains near his heart which were bottle up emotions, could not be felt.
Ananda realized that his thoughts were not “real.” He was allowing himself to “daydream” about something who had overpowered him due to his need for company and proximity with another person.
Once there is realization, then there is a “cure.”
The important aspect is to realize that without that inner serenity, which some call peace, others call God and yet others call, spirit; without “that” there is no possibility of experiencing self –fulfillment and then, we will always be dependent.
That experience of serenity needs to be constant so there is nothing else that could overtake it, for anything else are just accessories coming from the outside. That is the “work,” the effort.
Love is sharing. That could only appear once this peace is constant. That peace is not dependent on anyone but ourselves.
Once we know that peace, that serenity and make it constant in ourselves, there will be automatic self transformation; then we can share it, give to the world; that is, for the first time we can know what love is. Not before.
When we know inner peace, we know love.