When we become aware that we need to change, we understand intellectually the reasons why we need to change, however, many times we find ourselves repeating the same mistakes over and over.
This will create a sense of guilt and anger for, we are able to understand but we cannot make that change internally.
Then we blame the sanskara, the situation, our fortune, etc.
As psychologists can tell us, we have a conscious mind and a subconscious mind. When we repress certain habits through just intellectual understanding, these habits may not be observed in our conscious behavior until something “changes our stage.” It could be a situation which made us “angry” when we “shouldn’t,” and then; we may get discouraged with our “effort making “ life. We will blame ourselves and promise ourselves that this will be the “last time.”
Let us talk about dreams. They will be there and those repressed activities will be so “real,” that we think are real until we “wake up.” That is the unconscious.
“Effort making” to change a habit then, will be fruitful when the unconscious is changed as well so it will be in harmony with the conscious. The same thing. To be conscious takes “effort,” but if we change the “unconscious” then things will be “effortless.”
That is why, “repetition” of something is heavily stressed in BK life. Amrit vela every day, Murli class every day, to do the drill 108 times, to stop for traffic control every hour; etc, etc. In that repetition, is how “unconsciously” we will repeat what we have practiced. That creates a strong habit.
However, this “magic” of transformation will not take place quickly unless 2 elements are included:
1) A sense of love towards those practices. If we do the drills or Amrit Vela without love for that practice as when looking forward to it; changes will not be quickly. It will take a long time. That is why, BapDada teaches with love. Otherwise, is monotonous. Tedious.
Even repeating the name of “God” with love is a technique used by many religions so, that love sooner or later will change the individual into a sweet person, who all of the sudden will see everything with that sweetness, with that love; that is “he will see God everywhere.” Notice, that the practice brings love in ourselves and that love will transform us when “practiced.”
2) Desire to transform by having no other desires: As long as there are desires in our minds, we will suffer. As long as there are desires, we will repeat the same patterns , our old habits and we will rationalize those patterns.
This is why, becoming detached from the happenings of life is a healthy way to understand the motive behind desires. That detachment does not mean not to enjoy life and everything that happens in it, but rather not being dependent on something in particular.
I may live alone. I am fine. I may live with company, I am fine as well. There is no rejection. No “control,” but just acceptance of things are they come. That is detachment.
In that detachment, there are no desires, but all desires are already fulfilled.
Note that love is born in that space of lack of desires, in that emptiness of mind, in that peace.
When we find peace, we find love.