Thank you for your question!
When we “verbalize” our realizations, we are using thought. That verbalization is dual: That is “acceptance” or “rejection.” Even though through words, “I” will use the word “acceptance,” it is not like that when there is “no one to accept.” It is just a “let it be as it is.”
This is a process. We do not “arrive” at being a “detached observer,” but we gain that awareness, which could increase as we are in that consciousness.
Please see the problem with explaining an experience through language, through words.
However, here it is a brief explanation:
We realize that we think. We realize that those thoughts are fabricating suffering in us. We cannot get rid of those thoughts for otherwise, we will be rejecting them and as such giving them more force. Acceptance means to observe, to watch without judgment. Once you become aware of that moment, thoughts will go away.
That practice anyone could do it. It is mechanical as long as we are “awake.” However, what gives “life” to it, is the experience of the self, the being which is behind that curtain of thoughts and which we know exists thanks to this knowledge.
For me it is the experience of bliss. For someone else, it is the experience of peace. As the mind is clear and the experience of bliss or peace appears, changes happen internally. Our consciousness starts moving so, we could see the “movie,” not as an intellectual idea, but actually ‘living it.’ Then, we are in the route of that “detachment.”
As you mentioned, there is an “inner agreement” of what is going on outside and inside. It is in that “agreement” with what is going on that we could feel the self, the being, the soul (This is what BapDada calls having “pure feelings and good wishes,” it is not just a thought but an attitude which emanates from that experience of bliss and peace) and from that, there could be transformation of what is happening. That transformation of the events happen automatically because the being, the self is in “tune” with the Drama. Ego is not. That is how some may say that “we accept and transform.” However, if we “do” something without that happening “naturally” it is ego indeed acting.
Through all these writings all that we can have is just an “idea” of what could be a “detached observer.” There is no formula, but we have knowledge to “figure out” things. However, it is your own practice, your own “checking,” observing without judgment, witnessing… what will bring the changes and the experience. No more words needed.