Awareness cannot be taught

Carmen is a new parent. She said to me: “No one is teaching me how to be a parent… this information should be pushed into the school system and beyond.”

Even though she has “good intentions” behind her statement; observe that she is already caught up with the system: The information on how to be a parent is pushed from another source, to be “right.”

Carmen was praising all the books that she read which “helped her” practically.
Carmen read a book about “a prosperous attitude towards money, so money could flow in life, by getting rid of different beliefs that she was inculcated when she was a kid,” However, my friend could not use that information into her parenting situation.

Carmen lacked Life experience. She has theory in her mind, a very good paragraph of “wisdom,” but she is unable to apply it in different aspects of her Life. 

Most human beings have  developed many traumas when children. Parents did the best they knew; but that wasn’t enough. Hang ups, taboos, beliefs and so on were transmitted from their parents. Therefore, that is what will be transmitted to their kids. It is unconscious. Why? Because we are not aware.

Many times a child will be rebellious towards his parents. He will not go along with their “ideas,” unfortunately; that child does not realize that to reject his parent’s ideas will only make that trauma stronger. There is no experience of that, no awareness.

Then the “traditional good idea” comes. “If I knew how to be a parent, I will help others to do the same.”
That is very shallow. This is not just information that we pass along like in the “office world” when we get ready to take a test to be a “certified” parent.

Your awareness is needed. If you are aware of the baggage inside you, you will start with you. Look at your issues. Then, your “true self” will be displayed for your kids; not the behavior which you learned in a book, which is not truly you. Just because you know information, it doesn’t mean that you ARE that.

I am not saying that we should wait until we solve our internal issues to become a parent either. This is not a “black or white” “solution.” Just be aware that as you ARE, you will be matched by Life with a partner and that is what is “right” for you. That experience will teach you something, and then your consciousness will move on until… you are able to see yourself as you ARE: Then the process of dissolution of ego starts.
“But how do I help others?”
By allowing them to go through their own process in Life. That is free of judgments.
Let me be clear: The thought of helping others or teaching others, is just self-gratification. Life puts the teacher when the student is ready; BUT neither the teacher nor the student know about those labels, so they are free from the cage that those labels imply. It is that freedom what makes the internal change.

Can you live without goals and purpose?

Ask yourself if you could live life without goals, objectives, purpose and meaning.
If you are able, that will set you free from the mind.
Sounds crazy!
Consider this: Before you could perceive what is the mind, practically and not by a concept, a definition; you may need to increase the ego-mind to be AWARE of it.
“Have an objective. Give your life purpose, meaning!” Isn’t that the mainstream spiritual teaching?

Achievement gives you purpose and so failure to achieve. You could be a “winner or a loser.” Either way, you will need more things to achieve, to keep you “entertained.”

Once you are tired of setting goals to achieve, you will start freeing yourself from your mind, but that is not easy. A low point in your life may appear. Your trust in “best sellers” may be reconsidered.

“But goals are not bad! We need goals, objectives, something to look forward to in Life!”

Correct. But look at the beliefs in your statement: “We need goals” is the first belief. The second one is to label “living with goals,” as Life.
Goals are needed in the “Office world,” but outside that there is another Life, which I invite you to explore. This writing is only an invitation…🙂

So you want to achieve the objective of losing 25 pounds by next year. That is the goal. You have a year to entertain yourself in achievements. You also want Heaven after this Life.  You cannot fail that, for there is always plenty of room in Hell…
Observe this: You are aware that you are overweight. Are you aware of what increases that weight? That is it. No need to go into the “I promise that from now on…” What is so magical about 25 pounds? As stated before, the mind likes numbers, dates, definitions. 

Heaven is your goal? What are you going to DO? “Good” actions? Is what society defines as “good” truly “good”?
Is an action performed with the intention to achieve something for you, truly “good”? Isn’t that action actually covering your greed?
“What greed?” You are “helping” only yourself and making someone believe that you are doing it out of your good heart. All about mind and not feelings.

How can you go to Heaven if you are greedy?
“Yes, but I helped someone. My action helped another.”
That is the theory in the “Office world.” DOING defines a person. In Life, BEING defines the action. That is why Karma deals with who you ARE behind the action. Now, you know why “bad things happen to good people.”
“Let me write a check with some money to help the poor” Is that a good action?
Are you giving because you can spare some change, because you want to go to heaven, or because you believe that money will help someone? Let us say that 80% of your money went to some crooks who set up a fictitious fund to “help the poor.”
Yes… you had a “good” intention as long as Heaven and giving your left overs weren’t lingering in your mind…
See how tricky “good” becomes?

The problem is the mind. The mind creates goals, objectives, purpose, meaning, good and bad… Duality. We “reason” our actions  based on the learned conditioning…and we believe that to be “real,” “truth,” and use politically correct labels to defend “our” thinking…

Living inside the mind: The need for purpose

Little Timmy lived in wonder. Every experience was unique. He did not know what was like to “be bored.” Peer-pressure was a word with no meaning.

Once he entered the “office world,” Timmy learned about objectives, goals, pressure. Life was about achieving things, demonstrating to the world who “I am” now and in the “afterlife.”
If Timmy liked to run, that wasn’t enough. He had the potential to be “someone.” He could go to the Olympic “games,” represent a flag with a collective label and be part of the “winning pressure.” Games are no longer games, if to win is what matters.

Timmy could be “entertained” by the “Office world,” until one day; those “games” become meaningless… What happened?
He got tired of achieving and accumulating things. Little Timmy is “unique” after all, for many could be entertained by the “office world” for a lifetime: Go to work, watch the kids, watch TV, bond with your smartphone, feed the pets and all the “adventures” related with those items. Life is good!🙂

Until something happens to spoil the routine.

PURPOSE becomes the new keyword.
Life has to have a purpose. Timmy’s life has to have a purpose as well. What is it? Is dead the end? What do “I” need to DO in life?
Many “best sellers” self-help/religious books will give answers to Timmy. But because he is not AWARE, he does not realize that it all boils down to a BELIEF. “Believe and you will be saved,” it is said.

The indoctrinated mind is concerned with the future, so “I am” alright then.
Some controlling will be needed, some struggle with someone to get where “I” need to be. Perhaps, it is a number. The mind loves numbers: “I need 850,000 US dollars to retire and enjoy Life.” To get that may be the “purpose of Life.” Let me work towards it.

The mind is so busy DOING things, sacrificing, accomplishing, setting goals, etc. Just to avoid being bored. The sense of BEING is left aside. BEING a childlike, is forgotten. Thus, joy is no longer known.

When you ARE (BEING) there is no purpose. BEING means enjoyment. To enjoy is not a purpose but the natural manifestation of BEING. Joy is BEING…. mind free.

You are invited to a buffet. The mind says: What is the purpose of eating? How many calories in that? Little Timmy (not trained by the office world yet) tagged along with his folks to that buffet. Ask him: “what is the purpose of eating little Timmy?” Timmy will look at you and say: “I don’t know… err … to eat.” Such a philosophical profound response.
Observe him. Observe his enjoyment. The mind hasn’t occupied Timmy’s BEING yet… As the mind grows as a virus, then traumas will appear (experiences labeled as “bad”) then fear will surround that trauma and the “I” will be built upon those emotions…

Learning to play the game

Once upon a time, little Timmy was an angry baby. He wanted his way or no way; but he realized that he had to fight, win, struggle, in order to “achieve” what he had in mind. He labeled that “competitive mentality” as what is “right, moral, good, proper, perfect” for him.

Labels make a great difference in our morality.

Anyway, Little Timmy was able to express his anger up until he was 6 or so. Timmy lacked awareness of what that expression was causing in the environment and him. Then, it was time for the “office world” training. Timmy had to go to school. At that point, to express his anger was unacceptable. Every kid wanted things his own way!

Then, the “law” came into effect. “If you express your tantrums freely, you are going to get in trouble, but if you talk it out; then you may get a golden star in your chart…”
That is how, the conditioning started. The “Office world” works under the premise of rewards and punishment. Nice duality to be trained in.

Little Timmy was still angry, but now he had to be “clever” not to show it and to wait until he got home to express it, as he was able to do before school.

Observe that the “office world” is not interested in the way Little Timmy feels. It is not even interested in Little Timmy’s awareness of that energy of anger. The “Office world” is interested in actions or lack of them. The feeling behind does not matter. “Good actions”= Reward program= points for Heaven.  “Bad actions”= Punishment, jail time= hell= karma.  Those were the equations little Timmy needed to be aware of.

Timmy (no longer little) became “proficient” with the hogwash: “Hide your feelings. Give everyone what they would like to hear.” Use the “right” labels. Embellish them. What Little Timmy wasn’t aware of, is that he believed that hogwash to be the proper way to behave with others but he expected others to be “true” to themselves. That is how, he had a couple of “romantic” experiences where he felt disappointed.

Timmy wanted to find meaning to a Life covered by “proper behaviors and etiquette” for he did not find fulfillment.  His horizon had a couple of “choices:”  Go with the gold medalists, prove how great “you are,” sacrifice for paper money, build a name for yourself, become “immortal” among mortals by making sure that someone will remember your name (label) 200 years down the road… OR   become someone beyond your mortality.   That is how, religion XYZ appeared in his path.
Now, Timmy had a purpose, a “reason” to be alive. He felt instantly important, because the “boss of all bosses” (he learned that training from the office world) was with him: God.

With God, things were simple. This is “good,” that is “bad.” Do you see the line?
Anger is “bad.” Timmy wanted to align with God but he didn’t know how to get rid of that anger. That is the time when guilt appeared. Before his religious experience, there was no guilt. Now, guilt surrounds him.
Are religions “bad,” then?
No! Observe that Timmy had an answer for his “purpose in Life,” for his mental quest to “be someone.” Now, little by little through all the traumas that he will gather, he will learn to be “no one.”
Is the “office world” bad?
No! It is like playing a different game. The trauma appears when we believe that this game is “reality.” The office world, the religion, the school system… all games. Play.

Timmy will go through all the suffering necessary for Awareness to arrive. When that happens as all true stories;  Timmy will live happily ever after…
Did you like my little bed story?  :-)

Controlling your reactions

In the world of “spirituality for the masses” and “best sellers,” there is a famous phrase: “You cannot control the situation, but you can control your reaction over the situation.”

Apparently that phrase is “full of wisdom,” but that is only in the surface.

John was fired from his job. He was asked to go to a “meeting” with his boss. The HR person was there as well; John received the “pink slip.” John wanted to fight back and scream as he thought that to be unfair, but he didn’t as he remembered to be “calm under all circumstances.” He controlled his reaction.
Even though John lost his job, he did not lose his temper… hurrah!🙂

Think of all the “pros” in John’s “controlled reaction.”
He did not make a drama out of that. He showed his composure under a stressful situation. He gave a “good impression” and he acted as a “mature individual.”

Observe that those “pros” could be perceived in the surface; but none of them are true about John.
John was a “good actor,” that is it. In “spirituality for the few” we could label that as “dishonest.”

That repressed anger will be detrimental to John’s health.

Our society, religious and moral ideals dwell in the “façade” of things. It is about showing, acting. The smiling clown for all to see, who is truly sad inside.
We are taught to constantly check that we conform with the ideal behavior. In doing so, the individual is completely forgotten. We are taught to repress who we truly ARE.

I am not saying that John should have acted in anger. Let us not see things in a “black or white” perspective. There are many colors between “black and white,” but those colors cannot be prescribed through a “black or white” law or moral standard.

If John learns to observe his reaction, if he is aware of what is going on inside him, he may find out many things. That awareness is for the “few.” 

This mentality of “controlling things” and “struggling in Life to accomplish goals” are some of the most disrespectful ways towards Nature, Life, the Totality. In that perspective, our view of separation from Life is imminent.

Ego appears through that space of separation.

Ego is nourished through that continuous perspective…

The spirituality of Sexuality

The way you deal with sexual energy, will show your spiritual evolution.

Sexual energy is a fantastic source of vitality, relaxation and enjoyment. The full body (and ethereal bodies) is rejuvenated through it. However, that is not the experience of many.
For many, it is an itch which is meant to go away through an orgasm. This type of perception will deplete the vitality of a human being.

Through that realization, Tantra as a “technique” was taught to people. It was about avoiding ejaculation/orgasms for the sake of extending it. It was about being conscious of breathing and different techniques, methods to delay orgasms.

I recall reading some techniques from some “spiritual” people:
“Don’t ejaculate no matter what.” That is a “black or white” vision.
The joy of forgetting yourself cannot be there, for it becomes another source of pressure, another “objective” to accomplish in one of the few moments when the “I” could go away.

Tantra happens when a person has reached a certain degree of spiritual evolution. As long as the mind and emotional traumas are standing in the psyche of an individual, their nadis and chakras will not work properly. As a consequence, that will bring a variety of sexual experiences: From frustration to addiction.

Sexuality is a consequence of the evolution of a person. Sexual energy will bring nourishment when properly channeled.

As you ARE so is what you DO. Thus, the ACTION by itself whether it is to have sex or to repair a car is colored by who you ARE. What you ARE, is basically the addition of all mental constraints, emotional traumas, taboos, hang ups, beliefs which are not allowing someone to be open to the experience of enjoyment.
All of those “constraints” are shaping up the “I.”

That is why, as the “I” goes away, so the obstructions in our nadis and chakras, which will be open to experience what we ARE… bliss, fulfillment, creativity, vitality.

In Sexuality like in any other type of experience, there is a range. In every lifetime, we will experience certain degrees of that range, from none to full. That is why, wherever you ARE, that is OK. It is part of your evolution. As there is openness, then we could move to a different position in the range of experiences.

If we understand the above, there is no way that we could label sex and sexual energy as “bad or good.” However, those who feel comfortable labeling sexuality as good or bad, are exactly where they need to be.
That is the wonder of Life. See the differences, embrace the differences, make those differences one with you…so there are no longer differences.
Then you are ONE with what is. That is integration with Life.

Sexuality under the shadow of guilt

Life is amazing. It provides a rainbow of colors to behold, but human morality is only concerned with identifying a color as the “right” color.  All colors in the rainbow make up light, that which allows us to see, and we see to judge based on our moral standards.

That is why, any spirituality concerned in segregating something out of the human experience is not interested in the person, but only with reaching an ideal.

Guilt arose due to the “failure” of humans to become that ideal.
Humans cannot be humans to be “good.” We have to be something else, something “better.” It doesn’t matter where a particular human being is in his development; he must DO as told. He must become what he is not. He must be the dream.

Picture this: Peter feels a pleasurable sensation in his first chakra (sexual organs.) After sometime, that sensation becomes bothersome, it feels as if something needs to come out. That sensation changes Peter’s mood. His relationship with others become agitated due to this sensation. Then the label: ” Bad itch” appears.

Eventually, Peter must get rid of that “itch.” He ejaculates. Perhaps a “wet dream.”
A “holy book” may say that masturbation is a sin and so most monotheistic religions. Next time, Peter tries with a prostitute.But that is “immoral” in our society. Next time, Peter finds a girlfriend. “Love” is the keyword to talk about so his sexual outlet becomes acceptable. Peter may be pressured into “tying the knot” in the name of “love.” It is the “right thing to do.” All of that because of an itch in the first chakra.

Pleasure is incredible. The itch is out of Peter’s control.
Peter may find an outlet which is not accepted by “moral standards.” Peter may decide to go all out in a frenetic attempt to experience the utmost pleasure and to fill the empty spaces in his Life, with this new source of “happiness.”

Nevertheless, Peter feels depleted. His energy is gone. Frailty sets in.
Life could be ironic: A very pleasurable itch which can also empty your vitality! Sex is the “black widow” and we are the prey.

What is the solution?
For many, to get rid of the itch, through many beliefs and practices. Being “itch free” is believed to be  the ideal  of “purity” like a child before sexuality sets in.
For others, it is to do it with “moderation.” The definition of that will change. “Moderation” has always been a nice keyword to say, when covering up our hidden darker instincts.

Every society has created its own way to deal with that “itch.”
“Only do it to have kids.”” Only do it with your wife.” Although there may be differences which will create fights: Different moods, different libido, different stamina, different hang ups, taboos, beliefs, etc.  “Starfish sex” may be the outcome.

Then the “reactionary movement” comes around. Everyone is a “flower child.” Everyone should be “free” to DO it with whoever. The word “whoever” means same gender, animals, objects, spirits, etc. Some diseases and unwanted pregnancies may appear.
Add to the mix, the mind and emotional repertoire of repressions unleashed: Fetishes, sadism, masochism, bondage, dominance … and all of those mental games which makes sex a “mental” thing… Yeah, “sex is mental” right?

That which is the source of utmost pleasure in the physical world, is also the source of suffering.

That is how sex was condemned. That is how our society became mentally ill and repressed through the unspoken condemnation of expressing pleasure, which is an integral part of BEING.

The problem is not sex, but the misunderstanding of what sexual energy is, of what it represents and our inability to deal with the gift that this precious energy is capable of giving.

That is how “Tantra” appeared in the world many centuries ago. However, this path of self-discovery has been distorted (one more time) to accommodate the hunger of the masses to express their repressed sexuality, without going through the process of inner work: Catharsis. Yeah,  Money talks…Time to write a “bestseller.”  🙂    (To be continued.)