Question: “How to know whether a person is right for us? Does attraction on a physical or mental level has anything to do in a relationship like marriage (presence or lack of it)?”
Thank you for your question.
The meaning of “right for me” will change for every individual.
We are unwilling to acknowledge what Life brings, but rather, have an ideal in our minds (conditioning) that we want for Life to match.
Remember, you may feel attracted to someone, but Life has presented that person in your path, it is not that “you found him/her.” Consider this: You may not feel attracted to a person, but that may be the only option Life has brought to you. You may want a person but he/she may not be interested in you, because “you are not right for him/her.” Then what?
Life will bring potential partners in your Life according to what you ARE and what you need to experience in your journey. Life does not work on human terms such as : “this is right or this is wrong.” All experiences are needed, part of the “resume.”
Attraction is very important at different levels. Attraction has an ample meaning. Without it, love in a couple is like the love a brother has for a sister. There is no fire…. no fireworks.
Does it sound anti-spiritual?
That is because we have been conditioned to deny Dyonisus for the sake of choosing Apollo.
Religions call that, “to choose our good side and to deny our bad side.”
You may choose a man/woman because he/she is nice. “A church going person who fears God;” but there may not be sexual attraction, there is no passion. Or you can choose a “fatal attraction” which may be a high for sometime, but eventually feelings will get hurt and that will kill the passion and the fire will be extinguished in deep resentment.
At some level, we are attracted to that which we repress in ourselves. The striper girl or the “bad ass dude” are attractive to many. Do you see why?
That “choice” of Apollo over Dyonisus is killing our zest for Life. The wild side that everyone has underneath needs to be liberated, acknowledged and be One with the rational, calm, “spiritual” Apollo.
Dyonisius must be One with Apollo. That is a spiritual person. That person has integrated into oneness rather than the infantile denial and repression of our passionate side.
Are you a “right person”?
Most people are looking for a “complete package” to “buy.” They want looks, body, personality, sexual chemistry, mental stimulation through someone…that list is not enough for some, for financial independence, status,and power could be the “main attraction.”
As you can see, it is not simple for the mind to figure a formula, a paragraph with all the answers. Add to that the fact that “you” may find the “right partner,” but it is not the “right timing” due to some circumstance affecting your Life. See?
In a sentence: It comes down to your feelings.
Are you willing to live with such person? Not because of a “reason,” but because you feel deeply. Not as a need, but as the openness to experience sharing yourself with another.
Not as an escape from yourself, but as the opportunity to know yourself into a deeper level. Not as a social pressure to “get married” but, to experience partnership in the journey of Life. Nothing lasts forever, and so the “right person” may not be after awhile. Life is change. Are you willing to experience that?
Man and woman are 2 opposite electrical poles yearning for completion. That completion is to complement each other. The “right” electrical charge that you will encounter in Life to complement you, will only match your own potential.