“I am a regular reader of your blog. . Dear brother,i am in a great confusion. There is no place where I can share this as no one can realize me or suggest. But I believe you can. I am now still 3years in brahma kumaris knowledge. Undoubtedly I have learnt many things from here .i truly love bapdada and his teachings.i follow them as much as I can .but something I don’t like.that is the lack of personal independence.i read murlis where baba always says to do this or to do that,to be that,not to do that,that means if you do you are good and if you don’t or cant do you are bad.it is not the matter to be good or bad,i don’t care for that,but the question is about getting reward and punishment in future life.as baba says our fortune depends on how much I follow srimat and I shall get punishment or become repentant later if I don’t follow. That means I am forced to follow because nobody wants misfortune to come in his own life. I am expected to be obedient to Him.thats ok .I cant have any manmat .that’s ok.but mere problem comes it is me who has to do. if I don’t do any wrong karma but live my own life without trying to be an ideal one what is the problem? After so many years of following career, doing this or that for lowkik household ,for family members, passing through several up and downs in life(it may be also similar in 63 births that I came across,i don’t know) again to follow this or that as baba says simply is self afflicting for me as there is no freedom that I really want from spirituality.freedom means to me that I can feel my inner self ,feel my inner qualities,love myself as much as I can,love GOD as friend,feeling him truly,being merged in his love,and simply doing nothing at all only enjoying myself in different circumstances. Reasoning,intellectual thinking ,when destruction will occur,what is going to happen etc nothing matters to me. I love only to feel,enjoy anything I do. so everything else (may be gyan),is irrelevant to me.can I be fully independent in my spiritual journey of realization.it is true that knowledge is important for understanding but without feeling that becomes a pressure only to follow. Can I be full free to be of myself,to follow my inner dictates or conscience only taking the help of srimat.it does not mean that I am against gods version but I only want myself to be what I want ,to enjoy what I love not what is expected from me to be or do.but I am confused am I right?am I becoming disobedient to god?shall god love me for that?is my future is at stake?pls help me brother.”
Thank you for your kind words.
Good and bad, reward or punishment, present and future… decisions in duality.
I feel your psychological pain.
Avyakt7 respects your belief system. Avyakt7 will not tell you what you have to do. That would not help you at all. That is something that you have to decide for yourself and assume complete responsibility. It is your life after all.
Avyakt7 can tell you that this Freedom that you want is not simply freedom to do something, but with greater awareness, it may need to evolve into freedom for something. Freedom to give. This is of course, in things which matter the most, your time, your being, YOU for the rest of humanity.
Look at yourself. Are you satisfied with what you have learned? Why did you join your religion?
Most think that it is about God. They say “God wants me to do this.”
Let me share this with you.
It is about you. Your reformation. God does not need followers. To reform yourself is not something that you do for God. That is your freedom for spirituality.
Nice words will not do. Everyone talks about love. Loving God, loving humanity, loving thy neighbor, etc. Have you discovered that you are love? If you have, then you don’t need to love anyone for you are already that love. Let it emerge, let it be, let it express, let it be free. That is all.
If you have felt your inner self, then there is no need for beliefs and with that the struggle in the world of duality is over. But as long as “feeling your inner self” is just a nice phrase to say, a nice concept to mention, then beliefs may be needed to reform you and with that, the Father may have to tell you what to do, and… just to make it clear, He may say that “he will not give you your inheritance unless you do what He wants.” :-(
You are the only one who knows where you are and what you want out of your own life. If you don’t, who is going to tell you?
Be honest. Are you where you want to be? Have you experienced your own weaknesses? Then, have you done something about those? Is this important for you?
To do things just to please others, is not a good policy. To be happy now is important, for today creates your future, as you know…. your inheritance… :-)