1. Dear brother, I am more than 25 years in gyaan. I go to attend daily class murli at centre once. I do read murli at home. Practically i live alone. Only my dad is here. I cant surrender in centre. I work as teacher in secondary school. I am standing at cross-road of life— whether to marry or not. I am in contact with a BK sister who lives in foreign country. I got her on facebook. I find her a suitable match. She promises for a pure life after marriage. She is 4 years in gyaan. Although she is from poor family background, she is of good character who understands gyaan well. Please advise me to marry or not. Is marriage bad for me? Or is it that according to baba’s murli and latest signal i should not create new accounts? Many thoughts come to my mind when i read murli because of which i become afraid of marriage. Baba is Dharmaraj too. I am willing to marry not for lust but for practical reasons because i am not a surrendered brother. Please do advise me what should i do. Thanking you in anticipation in baba’s yaad, sweet brother.”
Is Avyakt7´s advice so important to you? Do you feel that Avyakt7´s advice would be able to change your destiny when it has been made already?
To value your understanding of the knowledge that you follow, is vital for your own development.
2. “I always face dilemmas in making small and big decisions. My mind changes every now and then. After taking decisions I think opposite one would have been better. Like this, it would be very difficult to deal with any situation. Please help me on this. Thanks.”
As you forget about ¨making decisions,¨ and allow your intuition to take over, to feel what is…then that feeling will be so strong that even if it does not turn out to be as you ¨wanted,¨ it will be the right thing to do according to your destiny and the Universe.
Oneness implies more than “I.”
3. “baba i want to marraige subhra suman khuntia ,would u request plz give sugges.”
Unfortunately Avyakt7 is not a match maker :-) Please see question 1 above.
4. “is it something that people who are emotionally weak or less intelligent( i strongly believe that intelligence is not that part which is equally belong by everyone “scientifically”) more prone to spirituality as they looking for extra support to deal with life or expetations created by surrounding,also who are more intelligent can be able to deal with everyday practical life or competition more efficiently which creates ego ( can say “confidence”) can easily say that spirituality is the ” weakness job ” , do we look for”god(imaginary power)” when we are weak , a’companion’ in our weakness, actually we look for it when something is not going on with expectations and we want someone to change for it…. can spiritually be followed by someonne who has everything going on as planned can you have your elaboration on it …”
Perhaps this conversation between Mathias, the wise tree and Ananda could send some light into your question.
Ananda: If destiny is already made, then what is the function of God?
Mathias: The same as yours…
Ananda: Which one? To experience the experiences of life?
Mathias: To exist
Ananda: But.. that idea that God will help you…
Mathias: It is in you…
Ananda: It is an idea…
Mathias: It depends… If it is in your destiny…
Ananda: If it is in your destiny….yes…But it can be there and then it can go away, it could change..
Mathias: That is what some people call your “fortune.”
Ananda: Yes.. and also ¨Maya,¨(illusion.)
Mathias: That could be for them. But no for you..neither for Mathias. Perhaps Mathias has to ask God for the Sun to come out tomorrow?
Ananda: No friend. The Sun will be there …even though many times we do not see it…
5. “Dear Brother, What is neutral karma ? How to perform neutral karmas in our daily lives ? And In golden age why is it that there is no consequence of karma ? Even though we are soul concious we still play our part and hence karmas should be associated !! Thank You.”
Avyakt7 would like to invite you to do a search on “neutral karma” as a keyword in this blog. There are many articles already here which will answer your questions…
Below some questions by Brahma Kumaris followers.
Avyakt7 currently, does not wish to be engaged in any belief system, although avyakt7 respects someone else’s beliefs.
Avyakt7 will not emit judgment whereas your belief about a belief system is wrong or right, or the explanation that you received is “right” or “wrong.” Avyakt7 has no opinion on those issues.
Dear BK readers,
Let us go into the main lessons of your belief system:
The first lesson is that “I am soul.” The second lesson is “God is a soul.”
My question is: Can you know God unless you know yourself?
God and “you” have the same eternal nature. Unless the experience of that which you believe in, is experienced in yourself, there is no possibility of knowing what you believe God is.
Do you know Avyakt7? Because you read these writings here, do you think that you know avyakt7? Because you have spoken with Avyakt7, do you think that you know him? Because you have seen his picture or a video, do you think that you know him? How can you know avyakt7?
By being him, of course. Who is him?
Isn’t “he” a soul? :-)
Isn’t God a soul?
Aren’t you a soul?
In spirituality, knowing is being it. In the “normal” world, to know means to have the head full of information about something. We cannot know what swimming is by just reading about it. We cannot talk about Spirituality without observing and knowing ourselves, because in that we could know everyone else.
We share the same nature.
When we understand deeply the above, we can abandon the idea of being a “devotee” of God and turn our journey into the honest quest of knowing yourself.
That is called with many names by many spiritual teachers: Soul consciousness, dying alive, detached observer, self transformation, self realization, emptiness, nothingness, detached participant, self- awareness, consciousness, Buddha and of course, illumination…
Now let us go back in to the “soul.”
The word “Soul” is just information, a label to denote something which can only be experienced. When that something is experienced, then we can put different labels to that something: Some may call that spirit, others, emptiness, others light, self, bindi, atma, purusha, etc, etc.
The third lesson in your belief system is about the cycle of time.
Let me ask you, is the “soul” bound to time? No, because it is eternal. Then, how is it possible to experience time?
It is a contradiction… That is why, we cannot explore these things with intellectual understanding, with “0” or “1” answers.
We are both, we experience time and we are time-less. It just depends in our consciousness.
That “contradiction” that we found is the “door” to further realizations.
We cannot talk about the timeless with words bound in time. We cannot understand the timeless, when our consciousness is bound in time.
Last question: In which moment of the cycle of time do we truly know God? :-)
If you say “now,” Please read this response again from the beginning. Note that in the Golden age, God is not there and that is the moment of highest consciousness, when those beings know themselves. When they are “equal to the Father.” :-)
Throughout Avyakt7’s life, the search for the truth was the main point and driving force in my life. First, it was understood as a label, as something intellectual to understand, to write down and tell everyone. To know God was part of that intellectual understanding; but that wasn’t enough.
Then, Avyakt7 went through different changes and found the truth in knowing myself, going through the journey of observing the only thing that Avyakt7 can change in the whole world.
The queen who lost her necklace was looking for it everywhere until she realized/ became aware/ conscious that she was wearing that necklace all along.
We could believe in anything, doubt in anything… but finding the necklace is where fulfillment is no longer an idea to believe in.
Best wishes from the heart!
1. “In a class I heard that there are souls who reside in the soul world when they do not have a role to play in the drama. So, this means those souls are with Baba for a longer time than the souls who start the drama from Golden age. Isn’t that what we all want in the end- to spend more time with Baba? Why would we want to start from Golden age?”
2. “Dear Avayakt7, Bapdada’s role specifically in terms of service: three types of service Bodily, Wealth and through the mind. Is the topic of maximum number of souls served the basis of your position in the beginning of the cycle? If that is correct then Brahma Baba being number one is a little flawed inspite of his avayakt role. There is a feeling that Dadi Prakashmani had more to do with expansion. I understand that this is specific to the BK Belief system but wanted your view on the whole aspect of service connected to the position you would get.. or is this is a story of the carrot being waved? Would love your response.”
3. “Does God ever become “imperfect”? In BK gyan, they say that God has come in the body of Brahma and give knowledge to human being in order for them to make effort and become deity. We all know that the “perfect” stage is only in the soul world which means “zero”. When souls come down on earth to play their parts, the mind then be created and their stages gradually decline into 1 ,2 ,3… till 15 and body consciousness grasps in. So when God Himself comes into the field of action, does He become 1 rather than still in “zero” stage? Because you know when souls start to use physical organs, information start to flow in, create fluctuation which is the mind.”
“Question has been erased by request of reader. One more time, be aware of 2 things:
1- Avyakt7 does not wish to give personal advice to anyone as stated here:
http://avyakt7.com/2013/09/15/questions-by-brahma-kumaris-readers/ If you email me for personal advice, that question will be posted here for the “benefit of all.”
2. This blog is no longer about Brahma Kumaris knowledge. It is about Spirituality for all.
The response to the question is still there, for the answer does not have any “personal” advice in it.
Thank you for sharing what is in your mind.
You have a belief and you want to live according to that belief. You see others who behave not according to your belief and you don’t want to be “like them.”
You have asked for my suggestion.
Here it is:
Once you realize your own immortality, your own eternity; no other belief will matter. Just be mindful of that. To be awaken is the greatest service someone could “do” to humanity.
One more thing: Your religion has one of the most profound explanations of life for people “residing” in the first level of consciousness. Go deep into it and ‘grow up’ from the childish stage of understanding. That childish “understanding” is what is typically being conveyed to the masses.
Let me go a bit into it:
The most important aspect from your religion is not that “you are a soul.” The word soul is meaningless for someone without the experience of it. The most important aspect is that “you” are eternal. That has meaning for someone who acknowledges his own “ending.”
Moreover, “you” are eternal and “everything” else is also eternal.
Then the first “beyond childhood” realization comes: “you” are part of “everything.” “You” are “everything.” The illusion, the belief of “you” separated from everything is not allowing you to see more.
With that understanding the “law of karma” becomes just another belief, for whatever you do… you do it to yourself… there is no “other”… :-) and if there is no “you” then there is the “eternal movie” to watch as a “detached participant.”
If there is no “you” then , “being better than” anyone else is out of the question. Being “special” is out of the question. There cannot be destruction for an eternal “movie.” Therefore, there is no living of “now” as it is, when you have in your mind that “now” will finish, be destroyed and rather wait for tomorrow, when there is no tomorrow yet. Fear will come as long as there is a “you” separated from the whole. That is the change of consciousness needed.
The above is written so you could realize the depth of something which is only grasped by many with a childish like mentality. If your consciousness is childish like, then obviously the “Father” will “speak” to you in that same mentality. To say that those “words of the Father are the absolute truth” is to miss the consciousness behind those words. Childish consciousness.
Rabbits hatching chocolate eggs for Easter is a belief for kids. The Father shows his respect to the children by allowing them to experience the experience of being children and to realize things by themselves.
That is why Avyakt7 is not here to convince anyone to change their beliefs. Avyakt7 will respect your belief just as the Father does.
Please reflect in the above without more beliefs. Discover your own eternity. Feel it, there is no separation. Go beyond that duality; see the unity of all and… the beauty of existence, as it is right now.
If Avyakt7 could send this message to all BKs… he would. :-)
“Dear Brother, I thank you for your honest opinion and efforts towards spirituality. Coming from Indian origin and being conservative, we always look for others’ affirmation for any of our actions. Being a BK is no different, the same thing is followed. But the problem is there is a struggle(BK or otherwise) between the actual experience(the truth if I can say so) and the outer self (the outward behavior to please others). If one doesn’t go by the group, he is considered as half-cast or rebel. There is a clash as there is a feeling for the need of a group for spiritual progress (away from purely materialistic group). When people see your experiences, articles they get support for their inner selves which is longing to express the emotions, freedom, struggles. May be one should have that courage to be honest with oneself to progress spiritually (BK or otherwise). If we don’t we are losing our time by just believing a set of principles as real effort. Because many teachers/seniors speak of following the principles with more and more sincerely, because there principles helped them, but to put them explicitly as support systems only (not the effort itself) for spiritual progress would make the lives of spiritual seekers a lot easier. It would be good if you can elucidate the fundamental qualities needed from your experience for progress for a spiritual effort maker.”
Thank you for your great question. As you mentioned, there is this pressure to conform, to be part of something in order to “move on.” Everyone is caught up in that in one-way or another: At work, in the religious gathering, in a society with determined set of values and traditions, etc. The consequence of not following is to be “alone.” Are you ready to experience that? :-)
The answer comes when we realize that this is happening. That realization will bring the way out of that situation when the time arrives, if it arrives.
That right moment is something for every individual to recognize.
If the above sounds “very general,” it has to be in that way, for this blog is read by many individuals from different viewpoints and state of consciousness.
From avyakt7’s own experience, the truth is in yourself. This sounds like a cliché; and it is, if you have not experienced the third level of consciousness, the self. Perhaps there is more to it which avyakt7 hasn’t experienced yet, so avyakt7 does not hold anything as “absolute,” avyakt7 is open to “learn.” Knowing the inner self will give you that closeness to God.
When you are committed to Spirituality, which means that you realize that there are many weaknesses within “you” which are lingering there due to lack of greater consciousness; then change will be on the way. The issue is “you,” the solution is in “you.” The path is honesty, sincerity in your dealings with yourself.
Usually religions and methods are there to “protect us” from that “outside” that you mentioned. It feels reassuring when others feel and think like you; but there is danger in that as well, it is called self-righteousness.
When you want to plant a shrub or a small plant that will become a strong tree later on; you will probably use a stake to support that shrub. Religions are that stake. That protection will be there but that stake will need to go away for the tree to find its own strength. Others will need that stake as long as they live. There is variety that is why, there cannot be “the answer.”
The purpose of that stake is to allow you to gain greater consciousness.
From my experience, Christianity gave me the teaching of being “accounted for.” That there was a God who could help me if I was “good.” That I needed to recognize my “sins” and change my behavior. Through Brahma Kumaris, I learned about my own vices. From my experience, all the methods/principles taught by the Brahma Kumaris are meant to recognize sex-lust and anger and to transform them into feelings of benevolence to all. Celibacy is not a repression but a choice of a lifestyle in a different consciousness which obviously will not apply to everyone. There is variety.
Through other teachings, I have learned about the inner self.
There is no such a thing as one teaching being “better” than another, but teachings come from different states of consciousness and they will be beneficial as long as the individual matches that consciousness. In this way life becomes a school. Our state of consciousness will change. Life is change.
Take a look at your life and see if you have learned what you need to learn out of your current religion, belief or “ism” that you follow; if you say “yes” but then go back to the old pattern which brought you there in the first time; you will know that you were not honest with yourself.
That is the way to find out. It could be risky.
Taking the “stake” out is a big deal. You will find out if you are capable to stand up despite the storms, the hurricanes of life… Are you ready for that? You decide the timing. No one should pressure you. If you are not ready, that is OK as well. Every tree is different.
As long as there is appreciation and gratitude for all of those experiences, which are teaching us different things in life, we could grow.
Let us just remember that everyone is playing their own role in life. Mine is unlike anyone else’s and so is yours. See where you fit in this “movie of life.” That is your honesty, your sincerity, your gift to humanity.
“(“Souls come down here to play a part. The part is of 84 births. You play all-round parts. This drama is predestined. Everyone has his own imperishable part within him that can never be erased. You will continue to experience 84 births.”) Sir what I understand from above lines is that in every ‘Yug’ whatever part or role we play is prefixed and we play this part or role according to our state of consciousness (soul conscious or body conscious state). For e.g. like when a director gives a role to an actor/actress, that actor plays it according to his own capability, strength & qualities….Does it mean that in Golden & silver age we are more of soul conscious & near to God (means Godlike) we play that role perfect but in Copper & Iron age we are more of body conscious this is why we are suffering so much? means we didn’t play that role perfectly and thus our karma became vikarm. Every time we played that fixed role it means our state of consciousness is also fixed??? Plz explain this i am confuse… :-) “
Thank you for your question!
To understand the above with greater depth, I hope that you realize that dualistic language will make things hard to grasp.
It is an experience. It has to happen in your awareness for you to see it, otherwise you will remain confused with only intellectual information, concepts, reasoning, logic, all of that.
Consciousness is not fixed. Consciousness is. There can be less or more consciousness accordingly in life. Those are called “roles” in life.
When avyakt7 says : “you,” he is not referring to you as part of existence, but you as a concept, something separated from the rest when there is truly no separation.
“You” as what you think that you are…. doesn’t exist.” It is an illusion, Maya.
Forget concepts, definitions… those will only increase that sense of “I.”
This eternal movie plays through “you” but “you” truly don’t exist. :-) You are part of that movie. There is just eternal consciousness, once “you” experience that, all your troubles about understanding beliefs and dualistic thought will be over.
Consciousness is the movie.
Descartes said:” I think therefore I am.” That just shows basic consciousness.
“I am, therefore; I am not;” has way more validity.
When you are consciously aware of yourself, that is when you observe yourself; (when you remember God alone in your belief system) then you will see that there is a consciousness of “I” appearing where there was none before. From that point, “I” against the world became alive. That is suffering. That “I” is known as ego.
In this movie of life, if your consciousness is able to discern that you are not the role being played through you, that is when the dreamer realizes that everything is just a dream. From that moment you will start enjoying the dream as something to experience. Then, you will be a “detached observer.” Then you will perform “neutral” karma, then you will be “soul conscious,” then you will be “illuminated,” then the “I” from ego will not bet there, so you will be “egoless,” then you will have “all relationships with the Father,” then you will be “equal to God.” You will be beyond duality.
Because “you” are not there. :-)
At this point the concepts of predestination or free will, do not have any meaning. Concepts of time and “yugs” are meaningless.
If “you” are there, then you will experience duality and with that suffering and pleasure, because there is a center, this “I” which feels separated from everything else and rejects one side of duality to pursue the other.
The above is Brahma Kumaris knowledge in its depth. It is also Buddhism, Taoism and Zen in a nutshell.
“I am a regular reader of your blog. . Dear brother,i am in a great confusion. There is no place where I can share this as no one can realize me or suggest. But I believe you can. I am now still 3years in brahma kumaris knowledge. Undoubtedly I have learnt many things from here .i truly love bapdada and his teachings.i follow them as much as I can .but something I don’t like.that is the lack of personal independence.i read murlis where baba always says to do this or to do that,to be that,not to do that,that means if you do you are good and if you don’t or cant do you are bad.it is not the matter to be good or bad,i don’t care for that,but the question is about getting reward and punishment in future life.as baba says our fortune depends on how much I follow srimat and I shall get punishment or become repentant later if I don’t follow. That means I am forced to follow because nobody wants misfortune to come in his own life. I am expected to be obedient to Him.thats ok .I cant have any manmat .that’s ok.but mere problem comes it is me who has to do. if I don’t do any wrong karma but live my own life without trying to be an ideal one what is the problem? After so many years of following career, doing this or that for lowkik household ,for family members, passing through several up and downs in life(it may be also similar in 63 births that I came across,i don’t know) again to follow this or that as baba says simply is self afflicting for me as there is no freedom that I really want from spirituality.freedom means to me that I can feel my inner self ,feel my inner qualities,love myself as much as I can,love GOD as friend,feeling him truly,being merged in his love,and simply doing nothing at all only enjoying myself in different circumstances. Reasoning,intellectual thinking ,when destruction will occur,what is going to happen etc nothing matters to me. I love only to feel,enjoy anything I do. so everything else (may be gyan),is irrelevant to me.can I be fully independent in my spiritual journey of realization.it is true that knowledge is important for understanding but without feeling that becomes a pressure only to follow. Can I be full free to be of myself,to follow my inner dictates or conscience only taking the help of srimat.it does not mean that I am against gods version but I only want myself to be what I want ,to enjoy what I love not what is expected from me to be or do.but I am confused am I right?am I becoming disobedient to god?shall god love me for that?is my future is at stake?pls help me brother.”
Thank you for your kind words.
Good and bad, reward or punishment, present and future… decisions in duality.
I feel your psychological pain.
Avyakt7 respects your belief system. Avyakt7 will not tell you what you have to do. That would not help you at all. That is something that you have to decide for yourself and assume complete responsibility. It is your life after all.
Avyakt7 can tell you that this Freedom that you want is not simply freedom to do something, but with greater awareness, it may need to evolve into freedom for something. Freedom to give. This is of course, in things which matter the most, your time, your being, YOU for the rest of humanity.
Look at yourself. Are you satisfied with what you have learned? Why did you join your religion?
Most think that it is about God. They say “God wants me to do this.”
Let me share this with you.
It is about you. Your reformation. God does not need followers. To reform yourself is not something that you do for God. That is your freedom for spirituality.
Nice words will not do. Everyone talks about love. Loving God, loving humanity, loving thy neighbor, etc. Have you discovered that you are love? If you have, then you don’t need to love anyone for you are already that love. Let it emerge, let it be, let it express, let it be free. That is all.
If you have felt your inner self, then there is no need for beliefs and with that the struggle in the world of duality is over. But as long as “feeling your inner self” is just a nice phrase to say, a nice concept to mention, then beliefs may be needed to reform you and with that, the Father may have to tell you what to do, and… just to make it clear, He may say that “he will not give you your inheritance unless you do what He wants.” :-(
You are the only one who knows where you are and what you want out of your own life. If you don’t, who is going to tell you?
Be honest. Are you where you want to be? Have you experienced your own weaknesses? Then, have you done something about those? Is this important for you?
To do things just to please others, is not a good policy. To be happy now is important, for today creates your future, as you know…. your inheritance… :-)
1. Can you please explain the today’s avyakt vani (15-09-2013)…and I also request you from the bottom of my heart to please explain the every sundays avyakt vani. This is my email xxxxxxxxx.Thank you so much in advance :-)
Thank you for submitting your request. Please bear in mind that this blog is no longer about the Brahma Kumaris knowledge. It is about Spirituality in general and for the common good.
The “common good” in your case, could be for you to share the points that you would like additional explanation along with your own realizations, then avyakt7 will share his insight. Avyakt7 does not want to play the role of “authority of Brahma Kumaris Gyan,” for that, there are other people which every religion has a source of elucidation. Avyakt7 is a spiritual walker, but avyakt7 is not the “traditional” spiritual walker. Avyakt7 will not fish for you, but avyakt7 can share his experiences about fishing, so you could make your own. Thus, as long as you send me your points and your own realizations, Avyakt7 will give his personal insights.
That is the deal.. :-)
2.dear avyakt7, I am willing to know abt what is cosmic intelligence ? how it works ?
Thank you for your question.
I have heard that term from Osho, when speaking about consciousness: Individual, collective and cosmic intelligence, I believe. This is just out of what I recall.
Cosmic intelligence is what in Brahma Kumaris is known as the “Drama,” what in Taoism is known as the “Tao,” what in Christianity and monotheistic religions is known as “God’s creation and God’s will.”
Different terms, similar meaning.
How it works?
It is what it is. Because it is “natural” there is no explanation for it, but there are words to describe it. It is the interplay of nothingness and beingness. The interplay of duality which is neither “this nor that,” but both. It is the creation and destruction of itself in time. When you are in that consciousness for you are part of it: individual, but yet interdependent; then you are poetry with all; you are a verse of unity on that poem, you are a “uni-verse.” (cosmos.)
If the above does not make much sense, that is because it is meant to be like that. Only the experience of that unity can be known and then understood. It cannot be understood if it has never been known.
3. Three fundamental questions. 1.God says ” Remember me and your sins will be absolved- How? 2. You sit down in front of me and tell me your story of this birth I will take 50% of your sins 3. You take power from the father? – Process please- because just by sitting in meditation and taking power from the father and feeling that you are taking power ain’t helping. I have got answers from people but do not seem convincing. Would be nice to hear from you Avyakt7.
Thank you for your question!
The above is your belief and at the same time you mention that it is not working for you. Then, my questions are: What do you want to accomplish? Why? If it is not working for you, are you willing to change?
Do you want your “sins” to be absolved? Is that what it is? Do you know what specific “sins” you want to be absolved? If not, how would you know when those “sins” have been absolved? :-) How do you know if there is something else left?
Please consider those questions seriously and please reply back with your answers.
4. The below email is from a female BK who had the chance to know a BK male in close proximity. Before she used to deal with him at a distance only. They have been in very good relations ever since.
With her permission, her email is being cut off to protect her privacy and shared for the “common good.”
…But, now I can see that there is a shift happening in our relationship. It is becoming lokik from alokik (worldly from spiritual) in many sense, and that purity is no more in a relationship (I am talking in a thought level). The more I try to resist him in actions, the stronger it persists in thoughts. But, I feel that we both need some space from each other because it is affecting our pursharth..(Spiritual efforts). But how to go about it. If I resist him in any way, the mind persist him in everyway….And if I don’t, then those feelings become stronger. Which way to go? I have many more personal issues in my life and I am not able to concentrate on them because it takes all my attention….its like my mind remains all the time busy with this new feeling…. I feel I am getting away from my self…first, I used to be his friend and now he is my best friend and I feel the need to share everything with him. Being aware of all this, how to control this. Just watching and observing is not of much help!!
Thanks and looking forward for your reply!
Thank you for allowing me to share your email. As mentioned and for future reference to all, Avyakt7 does not wish to be engaged in giving personal advice to anyone; but if someone is willing to share a situation for the common benefit of all, then; by all means that email will be answered.
You mentioned that “Just watching and observing is not of much help.”
I need to reply that “watching and observing” is all that is needed. for then you will know what to do. If you truly watch and observe yourself, you could perceive that change in feelings. You could perceive your change on thoughts, you could see how your mind is pursuing that person. You could see how those new sensations are taking up your time and energy. Is him the culprit?
NO. It is you on your side of things.
If you have observed yourself, you can see that you have a belief. You call yourself a BK. You try to maintain that “purity” but you are finding out that “purity” by avoidance is not “purity” at all. Once the male energy is in contact with female energy and there is a “click,” then “nature” starts and beliefs fade away.
You can repress and close the door, but I assure that your issues have been postponed only. There will not be “purity” there but just a belief that there is.
That is why Baba comes as the “husband” for all the females. In this way, that feeling of love could overcome that desire. The issue is that many times that love is not true from many, it is not honest. If you haven’t felt a relationship with Baba, then what are you going to love?
An idea. That is the issue.
That is why, “closing doors” has been the best policy, but honesty is a better one.
If you stop pretending, then you will find out what you actually feel. If what you feel is about extinguishing the hormonal passion through an experience with him; then you know that at the end of that experience you will not feel good about it. Once the passionate experience is felt, then “reality” comes. The “dream” vanishes.
Here is avyakt7’s rule of thumb:
If you have been in BK knowledge for at least 10 years and you are in your 40’s and you have not conquered sex lust, then you need to wonder, What have you been doing in all that time? When you reach your 40’s you know better. You are no longer a little kid. The hormones should be realized by then and you should have figure out how they work in you.
This is what observation brings. If you are not 40 yet, then perhaps you should wait if your belief is important for you.
Perhaps something should be expressed to the other person in a mature talk without trying to hide feelings. Just let him know what you feel and what you want in your life. Don’t play tricks with yourself. Be honest in what you want.
If you want to maintain celibacy and you have not conquered sex-lust and the BK male hasn’t done that either (you will find out by just observing him, feeling the vibes or just by asking – Now you see how important observation is?) then you are kidding yourself. Celibacy will not happen.
Your honesty is of paramount importance. Decide what you want in your spiritual life and see where you are.
On the other hand, if sex lust has been conquered, there is no reason to suppress in your life to know someone if you wish to. Experience. However, just know that if the other person expects to indulge in a sexual relationship with you, then you will have to deal with his disappointment, anger and even insults if you decline.
If you are not ready to play with fire. Don’t risk yourself in getting burned.
If your feelings are of outmost care and you are not obsessed through hormonal games and mind trips about that person, then perhaps; you could discover something different, but it takes inner work, it takes OBSERVATION to know when we are ready.
One last item, please be aware that the above is coming from someone who is not experiencing the childhood stage of spirituality anymore, thus; in this stage inner observation is all there is, to be aware of the self is of paramount importance.