Triumph is not just a moment in time

Today was the ceremony when Dacio (Raysha and Ananda’s father) was going to be part of the Totality.
He had a unique name, just as his life was.

Ananda was representing that transformation through physical means: He took a piece of bread representing matter and started diluting his own ego. He placed that piece of bread into a glass a water which was representing the subtle energies.
Hard matter becomes soft through subtle energies, just as a human being who has harsh manners becomes soft and pliable through subtle energies which are placed into the fire of life experiences.

Ananda took the glass and placed it in top of the flame.

Mathias; the wise tree, was directing the ceremony while Raysha was able to see “live” what was happening to her father in that region of light known as a “parallel world.”

Mathias: “ The once separated consciousness of the observer and the object observed no longer separates and observes but then only feels. The next transformation is to become light only to be empty and from that essence back into the Totality, the Universal intelligence. That experience is the triumph of living life.”

Ananda took the glass with water and soggy bread and drank it, representing the process of once separated things, become one into the Totality.

Raysha observed how her father was speaking with what appeared to be his ancestors during that ceremony. They told him that this is the ceremony of complete dissolution of the “I.”
Dacio lied down in what appeared to be a rock. He looked at Raysha and told her: “Thank you for everything. You promised me that you were going to be with me until the end. I promise you that I will be with you when you need me.”

Saying that, the ancestors gathered together around Dacio and raised their arms… when they dropped their arms; Dacio in his body of light was no longer there.

Mathias finished the ceremony while the ancestors left the “place.”

Mathias: “Raysha… I want to speak with you. Do you have anything that you want to say?”
Raysha: “No, Mathias. I don’t want to say anything but Thank you.”
Mathias: “What about you Ananda?”
Ananda:” Well… I wish I could have seen what was happening, but perhaps a little explanation will help me understand. Friend, Is the process to transform from physical matter into light and then back to a physical reality?”
Mathias: “From the physical to light then into the essence in emptiness which will go back to the Totality as one. Empty to be full again… and then empty to be full again.”
Ananda:” What about the ancestors that were there.. They did not go through that transformation?”
Mathias: ” They did. But once you “were” you always will be that.”
Ananda: “That is because there is no time “there.””
Mathias: “What is “there” or “here”?”
Ananda: “The manifestation of that scene.”
Mathias: “There is time because you have to go to work in a few hours, but there is no time as well, it doesn’t exist.”
Ananda: “If I look at something beautiful and then I become it, becoming one.. why that does not happen when I look at some human misery; which we could call ugly?
Mathias: “ Our essence is that beauty. If you reject or judge that which you call ugly or bad; you get trapped in it. “
Ananda: “To reject something is to become it. I don’t understand that very well…”
Mathias: “Ananda has understood already. That which is trying to understand intellectually, is not Ananda.”
Ananda: “Has this experience finished for Dacio?”
Mathias: “This experience of triumph of your father is not just a moment in time.”

Experiences are unique. Experiences are needed to transform. Those experiences cannot be put into words as to explain to another, for that explanation is not the experience which is necessary to transform. It has to be lived, second by second.
Every human being has his own experiences and the words that he uses to explain those…. are limited by his own experience with words and limited language.

Explanations are good for the mind. Experiences are for the hearts to change.
So here is the “teaching.” :-)
Embrace life as it is, be thankful and appreciative of what is; for that and nothing else is what is supposed to be.
No need to worry about it. It is just Perfect.

Paraphrasing “Depeche Mode’s” song: “Did not tell you anything you didn’t know when you woke up today…” :-)

Believe to self-enclose


Every time there is a belief in our minds about anything, every time there is a space where we come from or a particular identification with some idea or thought; at that time we have created a personality, a little enclosed wall is born….thus, life itself will crack it.
The experiences of life will break apart that wall, for life is like the wind: “We” flow with it unless we want to fight it. That “self” appears alive to stand in the current of life, cementing itself through ideas, beliefs, traditions, etc. which are all static, unmovable.

As the wind of life gains greater force and momentum, as the wind transforms into a hurricane, that self will be vanished. That struggle calls for suffering.

That process of awareness, we call “self-transformation,” “spirituality,” “dying alive,” etc.

It does not matter which belief we have. Any belief becomes a static “reality” withstanding in the continuous movement of life.

That enclosure that a belief creates becomes a path of self-absorption, self-righteousness and rigidity.

In life, when something is rigid, it is dead.

It is my experience that invariably, every time “I” take a stand thinking that this is “the right way” and make out of that a self-imposed dogma of righteousness; then life will show me the opposite: Clearly, without a façade and then I could choose to “rationalize it” just to hold on to my belief.
My “belief” becomes more important than life.

What was “the right thing” at one time, may not be at other times.

My own definition or mental concept of something, which creates a belief, is not only a “half-truth” at the most, but a mental jail to cling to for security.

I no longer believe in anything. Isn’t that sad? :-)
Not at all. It is refreshing, uplifting, liberating.

Life is not a mental construct made of stories and plots to segregate the “good boys” and the “bad ones.”
Life is way more than that. Life is too great to fit into a definition or a belief system.

Moving through the winds of life becomes the art of gliding through it. Use that force to move, to explore, to wonder. The winds of life will keep someone floating effortlessly as long as we do not become an obstacle for our own journey.

Take a stand. Take a position… and you will put your feet on the ground; the self has positioned itself to fight…yet another time.

How irrational…

Emotional food


In the process of becoming “one” from a fragmented personality, we may need to deal sooner or later with our inner child.
That “inner child” has been described as the “7 year old kid that is always with us.”
Many of the emotional issues that we experience in life as adults, are related with the way that “7 year old” feels.

Many times as adults we reject or even worse, shut down that natural expression.

When that inner child drowns in the “adult” self, by wanting to be heard and acknowledged, then yet another inner conflict will appear. Sometimes that conflict may have consequences for our health.

Typical doctors who are unaware of the depth of emotional issues, merely will treat the obvious, the surface which does not take care of the issue.
“Don’t eat that. It is “bad” for you.”

In Ananda’s experience, there was a time when he used to drink “pepsi cola” and eat strawberry shortcake when he was a kid. It was a very enjoyable experience after putting up with the rigidity of the school system!
That was his “reward.” Ananda used to walk 3 miles to go back home rather than taking the bus, so he could stop by the bakery.

As an adult, the thought of eating healthy and getting away from “junk food.” That decision took his reward system into the other extreme of the spectrum.

The 8-year-old kid who enjoyed Pepsi and cake was denied in order to be healthy and to “look good.”

As years went by, Ananda experienced an ascetic life style of self-denial. Drinking water is “good.” Pepsi is “bad.”

Eating cake made by some individuals practicing asceticism was “good.” Eating cake made by the bakery was “bad.”

The inner kid was denied in favor of fashionable thinking and the idea of obtaining an image of a responsible adult wanting to have a “six pack “ in his stomach, along with conforming with a religious belief.

Observe how a kid will eat what he likes without further thought. The adult will put the thought based on counting calories, self-image, prestige, narcissism etc.

That is how we discover the value of emotional food in our lives.
Ananda will drink “Coca Cola” to enjoy the taste. The inner kid will feel happy. The adult who has learned the value of the “middle way” is not a tyrant with himself anymore.

Here is the key Lime cheese cake, Ananda!
Great! let me take a piece, let me enjoy it…

When we are out of balance, is when our face turns into a harsh expression, almost painful to watch.

When the inner kid is happy, a smile comes out without any effort.

What is the “spiritual value” of this sharing?
When you smile with the innocence of a child… you have experienced the value of “junk food.” :-)

The guilt of the sinner is the repression of the saint


The “I” is the issue to comprehend, to understand, to experience.

When a religion or a philosophy is based on giving life to that “I,” we will experience many inconsistencies, many contradictions.

The consciousness of an “I” is like a wall in between life.
When that wall becomes strong as a brick, then the force to dissolve it, will be equally strong.

The struggle to keep that “I” alive is observed in different belief systems.

For example, we may “know” that everything is eternal, but then we are afraid of the “end of the world.” We need to observe that intellectual information is of no use when the “I” is only striving to keep itself alive.

Unless our consciousness changes through an experience of life, then our head will be full with information.

That information could be worshipped; it could take a particular form as to give us the impression that we are safe, that the “I” has obtained life insurance for the afterlife.

The issue is not the “afterlife.” It is now.

It will take lots of courage to “re-set” our minds from beliefs and traditions deemed “good” that we have learned.

It will take lots of courage to accept a life of living just to experience that “I.”

Ego is a word which denotes the answer for every question. Why is there suffering? Because of the “I.” Why is there war, famine, beliefs, taboos, separation, etc.?
Because of that “I.”

Knowing that intellectually, does not “do” a thing. It is all theory until we are willing to explore it inside ourselves, observe it without rejection.

At that point, we have gone beyond the child “spiritual state of consciousness” of blaming things on the Devil, God, Maya and everything else, without looking at that “I.”

Fear is used as a mechanism to trap someone into a particular experience. Sometimes, we do that to ourselves.

We could label the energy of fear as “bad” something which is not “good,” something to reject… however, as my friend Mathias said: “ a brave man is not the one who does not feel fear, but the one who knows how to transform that energy into strength.”
When we realize about transformation of energies, how could we deny or oppose something which is happening in us?

How could we feel guilty of that experience? Trapped in the “black or white” mentality we get trapped into the duality of the “sinner and the saint.”

The child mentality wants to be a “saint” and rejects the sinner in him. It is that rejection, that fear of being a sinner, the force which will keep that sinner alive and guilt will be the shadow on that journey.

All of our fears only strengthen that thing which we fear. When there is no rejection, then we are back into being one… The one who transforms himself.

Epilogue: Death is a window until the door is shown


Life presents different perspectives from different people who are under the same situation.

A friend mentioned: “I know what is like to lose a father.”
We can only know about our own experience. Let us not generalize. If a particular experience was full of sorrow, pain and uncertainty; then the expectation is that everyone should experience the same thing.

That belief, does not allow for openness in our consciousness for the “I” becomes the center of the Universe.
“I feel this way, therefore; everyone else must.”

Ananda’s sister; Raysha, is gifted with a high sensitivity.

Raysha saw her father sitting by a lake in a region of white light. He looked much younger and his body was of white light. They spoke to each other. Raysha noticed that his father did not have any emotions in him.

Ananda asked Mathias, the wise tree about this episode.

Mathias responded: “ When you get re-set, you do not have any experiences in you. ”
Ananda: “Re-set?…But if my father was “re-set,” what is the benefit of going through the previous experiences if he will be in “zero” mode?”

Mathias: “ He will take with him what he needs for his next life experience.”
Ananda thought: “ But…who gets to give him what he needs for his next experience?”
Mathias said: “ The Totality.”

Ananda smiled: “ I understand now, Mathias… Thank you.”

Our minds are framed in the belief of being separated. It is that “I” with is own stubbornness and pride who fights to continue on. That belief is so enrooted in our bodies and mind which only allow us to perceive this individuality, separation. That is the cause of suffering and it is suffering the one who will burn that “I” until it gives up, surrenders, bows down, let go, etc. Use the word you wish, but we get the idea.

When that happens, a new experience awaits.

That “burning” can take many years of suffering or just a month of “intense fire” like in Ananda’s father’s case.
Then, according to what is needed in the Totality, the Universe, life, etc; the drop of water will be ready to appear in another place, another time, another circumstance to perform a particular task needed for self-preservation of that Totality.

That is the moment when the “I” will be born again.

Observe that I could label any of the words above with religious terms.
I could call the “Totality” as “God.” I could name the region of white light as “the subtle region.”
I could call that experience of “purging the I” as purgatory, hell, punishment, etc.

I could call Ananda’s father as an “angel.”

Forget the labels.

What you interpret, dear reader; out of all the experiences that I have shared with you up to this point, is your interpretation. That could range from “nonsense, false, true, the holy truth, etc.”

It does not matter to Ananda the way the above is interpreted. Ananda only shares his experiences here, for the common good.

What is the epilogue of the characters of this story of life?

For Raysha, it is to know that his Father is doing alright. A sense of closure. To know that Life does not end when the body perishes. That is no longer a belief. That experience of dealing with his father’s passing was a source of internal growth, the kind which no book, lesson or “spiritual teaching” could ever give.

For Ananda it is the trigger to recognize that “I.”
To dissolve all his previous religious beliefs and to “re-set” his mind into the wonderful and amazing experience of living life with joy. The teacher and the student are the same. However, life is the teacher… and there are friends to listen to in life. :-)

For Ananda’s mother is the time to deal with herself. That is to experience loneliness and attachment. She has lived for 50 years with her husband.
Some may say: Is to have a relationship “bad”?
Not at all. She grew with the support of that relationship, now the opposite must be experienced. That is the world of duality. If there was no “I” in her, how could she experience loneliness or attachment?

Some religions or beliefs will state that it is best “not to open karmic accounts.”
That “black or white” belief, does not take into account that every experience in life is an opportunity for growth. It is not the action in itself but the state of consciousness. It is not the time that we spend being “spiritual” but our readiness through life experiences.

If we don’t experience, we do not learn. If we don’t suffer, we do not grow. If we don’t know our limits, we cannot go over them.

For Ananda’s little brother, the time has arrived to walk his own path into life, for if he remains in dependency; he will miss the experience of life through his own lenses.

Ananda’s father got liberated from his decaying physical body and in the process; he has obtained a new consciousness.

Therefore, everyone gets benefit.

To live life is an awesome experience, thus; to be amazed by it, to be in gratitude to it; to completely appreciate it as it presents itself… that is to be in love with it…is the greatest experience.

When the time arrives


Raysha and Ananda’s father departed to another experience of life today, in the early hours of the morning. That is known as “death” for some or “leaving the body” for others.

Many labels to express an experience.
For me, it is continuing into a different experience.

Life is not the duality of life and death. We experience that duality when there is an “I” which brings the separation between the experiencer and the experience.”I am” the experience itself, in a word; the “now.”

For some relatives my father is death. My father has suffered… he is finally “resting in peace,” in God’s lap… etc.
I wonder if they know what they are talking about?
I wonder if they understand that their expressions of sympathy are of no meaning to me… but I understand that “their stuff” makes them feel good about themselves… that they are giving me “comfort,” they feel that they are “helping me.” :-)

The words “my father” bring a feeling of loss, a feeling of something that is gone, etc. Lost in words, I could believe the “logic” of them.

A role in life is not the being. A label to express that role is just a label. The experience of Life itself is beyond our words and labels.

“Leaving the body” is the expression of looking at life under the umbrella of the body. The point of reference is still the body, especially when I repeat myself “I am not the body.” The duality of body and not-body makes our life to be conscious of the body …unless we realize about labeling. It all depends on our degree of awareness.

Ananda could choose to be in sorrow OR Ananda could choose to be content and happy about the “graduation” of his father into a new experience in life, which could be supported by a fancy belief system.

Right? Isn’t that the teaching of “spiritual enlightened people”?

That is still duality.

When Ananda lives in the now and experiences life as it is without adding labels to it and just being aware of his own feelings and embracing them as they are without repression or opposition, then the muddy waters will settle down all by itself and then the “magic” happens: Clear waters will appear all by itself without “me” doing anything to “speed things up.” :-)

I could spend time labeling my own muddy waters as “impure” or as “that is something that I should not feel” etc. but once we know about the impact of our own words in our mind, then we learn that we better be careful when we talk to “others”… But even more careful when we talk to ourselves.

No wonder to go into a different consciousness, we may need to go over the limits of our beliefs.

That is the main requisite to have a new birth.

Relationships in Life


When we become trapped in labels and traditions from society, we may not be able to listen to our inner voice based on an indisputable feeling, which will let us know the way we should act in life.

Ananda does not feel the same feelings for his family members as his sister Raysha does.

Even though Ananda had mostly a good relationship with his parents; the feeling is not as strong as it could be for Raysha.

Ananda asked Mathias, the wise tree about that.
Mathias responded: “Raysha is related with both family trees; your father and your mother.
You Ananda… you are related through them indirectly, through Raysha.”

Ananda then asked: “Which one is my direct family link?”
Mathias responded: “The Universe.” :-)

Obviously, there is information that has value at a particular point in time. Knowing what is Ananda’s direct family link will be only intellectual information at this point. That is of no consequence.

Mathias also added: “Raysha will have feelings of motherhood towards her father who is almost ready to depart into another experience. Raysha had been her mother in another life.”

Then, Mr. Intellectual and Mrs. Devotional come into the picture:
“ But … that is not logical… That is nonsense.
If you are the daughter how could you be the mother at the same time? “
“My belief is that this is the only lifetime and then you either go to hell or heaven. There is only one life according to the Holy book written by God.”

Feelings don’t lie.

As we learn to observe all the labels that we use to categorize people into brothers, sisters, aunts, etc. Those categories already define the type of relationship that we are allowed to have now.
That is neither “good nor bad.” Our feelings and not our thoughts are the catalyst for action or reaction, that is why it becomes important to know ourselves by acknowledging our emotions first, to find our feelings.

Sometimes, we may meet someone that we would like to get to know better in a relationship, just to find out that “she feels like a daughter.” What do you do?
Do you rationalize that experience as: “ That is nonsense. She is not your daughter.”

The feeling will not go away, could you get married with your daughter? :-)
Honesty is not just a word.

Life has many “spider webs” which will connect us in different ways and at different times. That is, what you feel very strong about today may not be later on; (that is why dogmas are necessary to keep the same thing in our awareness) the interesting challenge is to learn to act according to the present time, by respecting the whole experience, the circumstances, the individuals involved and our feelings as well.

That comes with growth in life.
Life is truly a teacher.